Alcoholic Relatives

[SandM1827]

So I was reading an article on myyearbook, a girl had written about her life with her alcoholic father, and it inspired me to get all this off my chest.

Alcohol and drugs ruin a lot of families, teenagers don't think so when they're young and doing it, except the ones who are watching their parents do it. Most of my family are alcoholic, if not borderline, and do some sort of drug, usually weed which everyone calls 'harmless.'

My dad was a big alcoholic and drug user when he was younger, when I was a kid he shot up the wrong way and ended up crashing his car because of it and having brain surgery. He went to rehab but it didn't help much. His drinking didn't improve, every weekend he'd go out. When I was fifteen I came up the stairs because I heard an argument over who go to use the computer, between him and my sister, obvious that he was drunk, he ended up trying to strangle her. He never apologized or anything, then my sister and my mom moved away but I stayed with him, because of school. We never talked, rarely saw each other, unless I was in the living room when he came back from his bar hop with some random chick, didn't even care I was in the next room, they got as loud as they wanted in his. Waking up in the morning to watch the women do the walk of shame and see beer bottles scattered and a bong on the table just made me feel ashamed of who I was. Then he left for a year to work, leaving me to watch the house, my boyfriend moved in so I wouldn’t be alone. When dad came back we were his designated drivers, my boyfriend would drive while I sat in the backseat so my dad could tell him where to go, and his creepy friends would ogle me all night, I punched one when he got too close to me in the backseat and laid his hand on my thigh. I didn’t enjoy the night of drunken horny friends he’d bring home to the house when my boyfriend was not there, I got so paranoid I put a lock on my door and hid all the valuables that were in the living room.

I move out at the end of the month so I won’t have to deal with the drunken nights anymore. I believe that a drunk cannot be helped, he has to want help. You can’t send an alcoholic off to rehab against their will and expect them to stay sober when they get out. I can’t help my father, only make him want to help himself, he wants a grandson very badly, and if and when I do have a child, if it’s a boy, my father will not be a loud around him until he is sober, it’s cruel, but I will not allow my child to see the man my father is on a drunk day.

It’s callous to say but, I’m tired of waiting for a police officer to come to the door, or a hospital to call, telling me he’s killed himself or someone else in a drunk driving accident, because he drives drunk a lot, I just wish he’d get it over with so I don’t have to stay up late when he’s out expecting a phone call or knock on the door. Maybe one day he’ll realize that he’s lost everyone, my mother, his oldest daughter, his granddaughters, and someday even me, and that will either give him the kick in the pants to get help, or make him sink farther into the abyss, either way he’ll have lost everyone that cares for him.

(I’m sorry this post was so long)

[Seth26]

Well this is a sad story to read. My dad is a drinker too, but not to the extent that yours is, so I have some idea of how it can be. It sounds like it will take an accident or an intervention to help this man. Has anyone else in your family tried this or do they not see him anymore? The tragedy here is what you have have had to put up with growing up,and that he could end up alone. It's not cruel what you said about your kids not seeing him, it's the right thing in my eyes. I think you are right in that he has to help himself first, but perhaps some effort could be made to talk to him if you haven't already. Moving out is the best thing you could have done too. He has made the choice to be a drunk, but it's up to him to make the choice if he wants to continue. Just go about your own life if that's what you want, something I've taken a while to realise is that family isn't forever if you don't want it to be, nothing is for that matter.

[SandM1827]

My mom and me have been the only ones to try and help, its hard for everyone else to because they all drink as well. Its obvious that an accident wont help him, he was in an accident after he shot up the wrong way, rolled his van down a hill, had to have brain surgery, spent a few months in rehab and then as soon as he got out he was drinking again.