Transcending low expectations

[Irrational]

I've been thinking about the roots of our S.A.

Granted, a lot of it has to do with our limitations in life., the general unfairness of life. Our physical looks factor in. In this western world, our race, gender, physcial ability etc factor into our development of S.A. So does our upbringing to some degree I'm sure.

But lately it has occured to me that most of the above "limitations" are actually just expectations. Having developed S.A. is beyond our control; it is done. But recovery (even whether one can recover) is largely about attitude. When people say that they are hopeless and will "always be this way" or "it's part of my personality", statements like that are establishing low expectations. Let's not be part of the many people "living down to their expectations".

I am stubborn in that I refuse to accept failure or the idea that I've "plateaued" in my progress. The first step is to recognize your weaknesses. I believe that's half your battle; the rest is to act on it - and what should hinder you then but your own self-expectations. What will help you then is trust in your own agency. I really started true recovery when I learned to 1stly LIKE my own agency (not be afraid of success, believe that you deserve success) and 2ndly TRUST my own agency (that we will not "screw up", "look like a douche bag", that imperfection is fine).

I think that before we reach the true checkpoints by race, gender, etc, we are hindered by our own self-doubt. It gets proven to me time and again: Before the true limitations, our agency is much greater and richer than many of us have even pondered. We don't know our potential because it's greater than we've been given credit for. We don't know our potential because we haven't ventured to claim it.

Hope this isn't too rambly and actually helpful.

[leonardess]

Originally Posted by Irrational

I think that before we reach the true checkpoints by race, gender, etc, we are hindered by our own self-doubt. It gets proven to me time and again: Before the true limitations, our agency is much greater and richer than many of us have even pondered. We don't know our potential because it's greater than we've been given credit for. We don't know our potential because we haven't ventured to claim it.

Hope this isn't too rambly and actually helpful.

I think you are absolutely right about this.

[strawberryjulius]

Originally Posted by Irrational

But lately it has occurred to me that most of the above "limitations" are actually just expectations. Having developed S.A. is beyond our control; it is done. But recovery (even whether one can recover) is largely about attitude. When people say that they are hopeless and will "always be this way" or "it's part of my personality", statements like that are establishing low expectations. Let's not be part of the many people "living down to their expectations".

I agree with this and unfortunately see quite a few people with this attitude.

[Catching Fire]

I defiently agree. I think SA people put themselves down more then any person ever could. We defiently underestimate ourselves way too much and see things in too much of a negative light. I've been doing alot of things lately that Sa has told me for so long I can't. It's a very surreal feeling because I still feel like it can't be happening which goes to show how ingrained these negative thoughts can become. But unless you keep confronting the situations it can be very hard to change those expectations.