Social Anxiety Support

bwidger85 · 08-22-2009, 12:07 AM

This is an inspiring and refreshing way to look at conversation as rewarding and not punishing. I have been trying to add entertainment value and interest into initiating conversation with strangers to motivate me to take action and this thought occurred which I noted:

"You've focused a lot on being this shy, negative persona at the bar; try to focus on the things your missing that would make your experience exciting.

Great things of meeting people in bars:

Once you break past the tension of small talk you can establish a connection (bond) which will lesson your anxiety and increase your entertainment. It's almost necessary to expect the beginning to be intimidating but once your over "small talk" you then can reap the rewards of your effort: connection, entertainment, loss of anxiety. You have to give it time and not bail out just because it's awkward at first and you will find gold in your efforts."

Not sure if anyone else will find this useful or not as I've somewhat trained myself to believe things until they happen, but it's neat to think of nonetheless. I think it's possible and possibly a great motivator to take action. Let's say you go to a bar with someone your really comfortable with; chances are you'll be pretty comfortable talking with that person. I do believe connections are made by talking ENOUGH with someone, and these connections are what make our time entertaining and comfortable. We fear uncomfortable situations so why not believe conversations can eventually take away that discomfort? Maybe we are uncomfortable because we haven't made that COMFORTING connection with someone through conversation and connection? There is a reason why people talk all the time, perhaps this is why?

deeds14 · 08-23-2009, 04:27 PM

This is a great way to look at having a conversation... I will try it

Thanks!

08-22-2009, 12:07 AM	#1 (permalink)
bwidger85 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Ohio Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 704	The Rewards of Conversation This is an inspiring and refreshing way to look at conversation as rewarding and not punishing. I have been trying to add entertainment value and interest into initiating conversation with strangers to motivate me to take action and this thought occurred which I noted: "You've focused a lot on being this shy, negative persona at the bar; try to focus on the things your missing that would make your experience exciting. Great things of meeting people in bars: Once you break past the tension of small talk you can establish a connection (bond) which will lesson your anxiety and increase your entertainment. It's almost necessary to expect the beginning to be intimidating but once your over "small talk" you then can reap the rewards of your effort: connection, entertainment, loss of anxiety. You have to give it time and not bail out just because it's awkward at first and you will find gold in your efforts." Not sure if anyone else will find this useful or not as I've somewhat trained myself to believe things until they happen, but it's neat to think of nonetheless. I think it's possible and possibly a great motivator to take action. Let's say you go to a bar with someone your really comfortable with; chances are you'll be pretty comfortable talking with that person. I do believe connections are made by talking ENOUGH with someone, and these connections are what make our time entertaining and comfortable. We fear uncomfortable situations so why not believe conversations can eventually take away that discomfort? Maybe we are uncomfortable because we haven't made that COMFORTING connection with someone through conversation and connection? There is a reason why people talk all the time, perhaps this is why?

08-23-2009, 04:27 PM	#2 (permalink)
deeds14 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Female Posts: 256	This is a great way to look at having a conversation... I will try it Thanks!