Social Anxiety Support

bht96 · 06-19-2009, 11:51 PM

I have suffered from SA probably since I was 8 or 9. Before that I was by all appearances an extremely outgoing little boy. I developed a physical abnormality at that age (it was removed through surgery at age 14). But, during that time I was teased relentlessly at school. This caused me to be self-conscious which caused me to withdraw into my own head instead of focusing on what was happening around me. I developed a fear and distrust of people because I was always bracing for impact (the next humiliating insult). This fear and distrust became a habit and I continued this line of perception after the abnormality was corrected. But, with the self-consciousness and the fear of criticism, I found it very hard to concentrate. I was shipped off to military school at age 14 and as you can imagine, many things very foreign to my previous lifestyle was throw my way. Because I could not concentrate very well and my tendency to not talk and bond with my classmates, there was a perception around school that I was "dumb" or "retarded". I was then teases mercilessly about that and felt great frustration and anger that I was being represented in a false light. After 4 years of that, I entered college and continued to withdraw. I found solace in nightly use of marijuana which then was combined with nightly use of alcohol. Anyway, I continued destructive behavior using substances until last year when I started using cocaine along with alcohol, marijuana and benzodiazipines which caused me to blackout. During these blackouts, I broke my wrist, beat up my girlfriend, nearly had an overdose and withdrew thousands upon thousands of dollars out of my father's account. Basically, I hit rock bottom and was forced to get help by my family and loved ones. Today, for the first time in my life I feel like I have made serious inroads towards recovery. I haven't used drugs for a year and a half and have in the past three months sought CBT counseling (individual and group). I believe for the first time that SA, the monster that I thought was keeping me from realizing happiness in my life can be overcome through practice, patience, on learning new rational thoughts that will allow me to lead a normal life and finally get to a plce where I can start a career. Personally, I have found that the REBT approach speaks to me the best. I would recommend all of you SA'ers to never give up hope, actively and forcefully try to get better through experimentation using a new rational philosophy, and just know that this 1000 lb. gorilla on our back isn't as big as we think it is and it can be greatly overcome if not completely. I have come a long way but there is still a long way to go. If anyone has any specific questions on what approach I recommend I encourage you to ask me and I will be happy to supply my strategy. I have gone through a lot of trial and error and might be able to help you get to where you need to go a lot quicker than what it took me.

slylikeafox · 06-20-2009, 12:10 AM

Glad you're turning your life around bht96

Keep up the great work!

Pam · 06-22-2009, 05:51 PM

Oh my God, you really have come a long way! And had quite a colorful life so far. I can't believe people thought you were dumb at any time of your life. Congratulations on quitting drugs and staying clean! I quit smoking cigarettes last year, but I imagine it's way harder to quit cocaine. Thanks for telling your story--it's inspiring and impressive.

Redefine · 06-24-2009, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pam

Oh my God, you really have come a long way! And had quite a colorful life so far. I can't believe people thought you were dumb at any time of your life. Congratulations on quitting drugs and staying clean! I quit smoking cigarettes last year, but I imagine it's way harder to quit cocaine. Thanks for telling your story--it's inspiring and impressive.

Agreed, your story is quite inspiring.

poppet · 07-01-2009, 05:41 AM

BHT96 your story is very inspirational, thanks for taking the time to share it.

You mentioned REBT, what is it and how is it different from CBT? I have found CBT to be very helpful with overcoming my anxiety, but I know that you need to keep working on it so I am interested in any variations that can reinforce the skills I learnt from CBT.

06-19-2009, 11:51 PM	#1 (permalink)
bht96 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Dallas, TX Gender: Male Age: 29 Posts: 147	Take Your Life Back from SA I have suffered from SA probably since I was 8 or 9. Before that I was by all appearances an extremely outgoing little boy. I developed a physical abnormality at that age (it was removed through surgery at age 14). But, during that time I was teased relentlessly at school. This caused me to be self-conscious which caused me to withdraw into my own head instead of focusing on what was happening around me. I developed a fear and distrust of people because I was always bracing for impact (the next humiliating insult). This fear and distrust became a habit and I continued this line of perception after the abnormality was corrected. But, with the self-consciousness and the fear of criticism, I found it very hard to concentrate. I was shipped off to military school at age 14 and as you can imagine, many things very foreign to my previous lifestyle was throw my way. Because I could not concentrate very well and my tendency to not talk and bond with my classmates, there was a perception around school that I was "dumb" or "retarded". I was then teases mercilessly about that and felt great frustration and anger that I was being represented in a false light. After 4 years of that, I entered college and continued to withdraw. I found solace in nightly use of marijuana which then was combined with nightly use of alcohol. Anyway, I continued destructive behavior using substances until last year when I started using cocaine along with alcohol, marijuana and benzodiazipines which caused me to blackout. During these blackouts, I broke my wrist, beat up my girlfriend, nearly had an overdose and withdrew thousands upon thousands of dollars out of my father's account. Basically, I hit rock bottom and was forced to get help by my family and loved ones. Today, for the first time in my life I feel like I have made serious inroads towards recovery. I haven't used drugs for a year and a half and have in the past three months sought CBT counseling (individual and group). I believe for the first time that SA, the monster that I thought was keeping me from realizing happiness in my life can be overcome through practice, patience, on learning new rational thoughts that will allow me to lead a normal life and finally get to a plce where I can start a career. Personally, I have found that the REBT approach speaks to me the best. I would recommend all of you SA'ers to never give up hope, actively and forcefully try to get better through experimentation using a new rational philosophy, and just know that this 1000 lb. gorilla on our back isn't as big as we think it is and it can be greatly overcome if not completely. I have come a long way but there is still a long way to go. If anyone has any specific questions on what approach I recommend I encourage you to ask me and I will be happy to supply my strategy. I have gone through a lot of trial and error and might be able to help you get to where you need to go a lot quicker than what it took me.

06-20-2009, 12:10 AM	#2 (permalink)
slylikeafox Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Michigan Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 1,685	Glad you're turning your life around bht96 Keep up the great work! __________________ "Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself" - Joel Hawes

06-22-2009, 05:51 PM	#3 (permalink)
Pam Status: Never Fitting In Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: western New York Gender: Female Age: 41 Posts: 234	Oh my God, you really have come a long way! And had quite a colorful life so far. I can't believe people thought you were dumb at any time of your life. Congratulations on quitting drugs and staying clean! I quit smoking cigarettes last year, but I imagine it's way harder to quit cocaine. Thanks for telling your story--it's inspiring and impressive. __________________ I don't need anyone to approve of what I say or do...but it's always nice when someone does.

07-01-2009, 05:41 AM	#5 (permalink)
poppet Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 17	BHT96 your story is very inspirational, thanks for taking the time to share it. You mentioned REBT, what is it and how is it different from CBT? I have found CBT to be very helpful with overcoming my anxiety, but I know that you need to keep working on it so I am interested in any variations that can reinforce the skills I learnt from CBT.