How do you become interested in people?

[bwidger85]

Well, I really don't know where else to ask this so I'll just ask here I suppose, and I'll start with a very open-ended question:

How do you become interested in other people?

[Banzai]

You find out what's interesting about them .

Whether it be interests, hobbies, interesting abilities...etc.

[WineKitty]

Shared interests.

[The Strong Silent Type]

I think the problem is we are so concerned about how we are being perceived by the other person, it makes us unable to truly engage with interesting people

[supersoshychick]

hmmm to be honest, i wouldn't know. It's like my interests are boring and they wouldn't be interested...hope that makes sense.....

[odd_one_out]

By hanging around places where you can meet people with common interests and outlooks. I don't think interest can be forced. Feeling more relaxed and happy in general can be conducive to feeling more interest.

[bwidger85]

Originally Posted by Banzai

You find out what's interesting about them .

Whether it be interests, hobbies, interesting abilities...etc.

I suppose this makes the most sense to me. It seems simple enough. I guess I don't expect to find something interesting about someone if that's what I'm focused on -- finding interests. Does that make sense? I may be looking at this all wrong, perhaps I should just focus on questions that I'm truly curious about? However, if your bored and you want to CREATE interest through means of conversation, I guess asking questions till you discover something interesting will suffice? I suppose it takes a little bit of work on both ends of the conversation and from both people, but do you think creating interest by means of conversation can happen every time? (whew, questions, questions, questions...)

Basically, I want to be come more interested in people because I think it'll be beneficial to me. From a far-fetched perspective, I think interacting with people can be one of the most joyful things one can do, and that's kind of what I'm aiming for here.

[xyzhousexyz]

For me it could be anything, Something they say, something they are wearing. Hair style, looks in general. It can be anything really.

[Homersxchild]

I don't really become 'interested' in people. I feel a more kind of 'connection' with them. Our personalities just tend to click and we're able to talk about our opinions and interests. Note, this doesn't happen often. I've only had like two or three friends in my life.

[Sweetie]

Usually I'll catch there eye (lol that's all it takes haha) and then they'll be on my "radar"

I'll just be aware of their existance when there in the same room or if I'm walking by.. or by the way they dress or carry themselves; people out of the ordinary. Usually I'm interested in a person before or if I even talk to them.

[VIncymon]

Originally Posted by supersoshychick

hmmm to be honest, i wouldn't know. It's like my interests are boring and they wouldn't be interested...hope that makes sense.....

Makes sense to me. I wish i could write songs about these things.

If could make a fortune from painting / singing about S.A. and lost love. Well .. I would die a happy man.

[goodthing]

Originally Posted by The Strong Silent Type

I think the problem is we are so concerned about how we are being perceived by the other person, it makes us unable to truly engage with interesting people

I completely agree with you. How do we get past that? I know I am overly worried about what other people will think of me, which makes me really reserved and boring, and so then they don't like me. It's a vicious cycle. If I wasn't so worried about them not liking me, I would probably be a lot more interesting and then they actually would like me.

[TheDaffodil]

I really don't know. I'm just automatically interested in every single person. I like stories. I like when people tell me things, spill their guts. I find humanity in general interesting so I guess it branches from that. Humanity is made up of stories of bravery, of fear, of defeat, of victory, of tragedy, of triumph, of love. And each human being has their own story that intertwines with other stories and leads to some great theme on society.
I guess since I see the world that way, it makes it easy for me to be interested in other people. I might be shy at first but once I get used to a person I really do want to know everything about them even if they're the total opposite of me.

[bwidger85]

Originally Posted by TheDaffodil

I really don't know. I'm just automatically interested in every single person. I like stories. I like when people tell me things, spill their guts. I find humanity in general interesting so I guess it branches from that. Humanity is made up of stories of bravery, of fear, of defeat, of victory, of tragedy, of triumph, of love. And each human being has their own story that intertwines with other stories and leads to some great theme on society.
I guess since I see the world that way, it makes it easy for me to be interested in other people. I might be shy at first but once I get used to a person I really do want to know everything about them even if they're the total opposite of me.

I wish I felt the same way at 19. I think you have some good points here. I have this thing to where someone can make an impression on me and if it's a bad impression I have a hard time WANTING to connect with them. So sometimes I wonder if curiosity is linked with respect? Perhaps "chemistry" between two people comes from a variety of things. Would anyone like to clarify?

I like to think that if I'm curious enough in someone I'll probe and want to talk with them. However, in situations, for example, like bar atmospheres, I don't feel that natural curiosity that beckons me to approach people and start conversation. I don't know whether it's because I'm nervous, shy, the music is too loud, too many people to engage with, not knowing the person, no personal relevance to me, etc, but I'm usually not interested in conversation with strangers in these environments. Even without noisy, exciting atmospheres I sometimes am not engaged to want to speak to fellow coworkers, for example. Even at school and in class I am not interested in talking to those around me, but I also notice there are many who do the same. Would anyone like to comment on these things?

[No-Sturm-und-Drang]

everybody is normal until you get to know them