Hard to Think Positive

[Mr. SandMan]

Life has been a crazy thing for me as of late.

Some have read my posts and know a little about me. But, I'm feeling very blessed and pleased with myself.

I never believed in medicine for real untill it saved my life. I've been put on Vyvanse along with my Klonopin and everything is great.

I jus feel like there is nothing to complain about. It's an extremely blessed feeling to have family who loves you, a physcopathic companion who loves you and the support. It seems like everyone loves me.

I've been going through this court thing and the judge loves me, my TAC person loves me, my doc and 'physcotherapist' loves me. It's overwealming tbh.

I saw my doc last night for the first time after being on my vyvanse for a month pretty much. He told me, "This is amazing." He was smiling. It really is though. I've been working 5/6 days a week and I've been working front register and I truelly enjoy working front register. I like conversating with other people again. It's a blessed feeling.

I've mentioned before that my physciatrist is black, the only black doc I have met and he's the only one who gets it, who understands. It took a long time to actually find the right doc, but he's it. And it was crazy, cause I've seen him for atleast like 8 months, and after yesterday for seeing me and being able to notice the change in me he went to shake my hand and he gave me an extra like, thumb lock shake and then the finger lock thing. It was jus crazy. He's only shook my hand before. They all seem so pleased in me and I feel pleased in myself.

There is no where to go but up. He told me like the third time I saw him that thinking positive is the hardest thing to do, and that has jus stuck. It's jus a blessed feeling not to have to deal with the panic attacks and to have the right diagnosis for my mental issues. Not like medicine is the only thing that has cured me, so to speak. My confidence is higher, everything is jus overwealming. I've kept the negetive out of my life, and everything is positive now. I can actually say that I love myself, and my family and few friends makes everything a bigger blessing.

Thx for reading if you chose to.

Love ...

[up123]

well I'm happy for you... I manage to think positive for a couple of days
and then I fall off the wagon again...
Unfortunately where I live (Egypt) psychiatric care is really neglected.. I tried going to a psychiatrist before but all I felt was that she didn't care and she was supposed to be the best.. I went to another one and he told me things i know it already .. you won't change unless you want to I can't help you unless you help yourself.. I know he's right but I wasen't comfortable... I took a medicine for quite a while but I felt no difference.. It made me get brain freezes..
but good for you...I know that it is doable but it is gonna be difficult at first...but I've been making myself feel worse that I now think about everything I say and evrything I do even when Im writing now..
I hope me joining this society does help...
sorry for blabbing

[Mr. SandMan]

It's only a blessing that I have the help I need right infront of me, and I have the ability to use and maintain it. Everyone's story is different. It's not like I'm saying my way of help is the only way one can manage, it's jus mine. I'm sorry you are having a difficult time with everything. Never quitting is one thing I would advize, and thinking positive is the hardest thing to do. : )

Love ...