Doing things on your own - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 01-15-2011, 04:07 PM Thread Starter
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Doing things on your own

I have found that going places on my own has helped me to deal with my lack of friends. I have gone to the movies on my own and gone to restaurants on my own and I never regret it. Even if I get looks from people I don't really mind. I find that waiting around for someone to go places with me is a waste of time. I have some friends but many are not that social and not "up" for going certain places. I even went on a trip to San Diego by myself. I guess my question is: do you do things like this alone? Do you find it increases your confidence?
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 01-15-2011, 04:13 PM
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I don't do things on my own, I just don't like being anywhere outside without someone else. I think if I plucked up the nerve to do things by myself it probably would increase my confidence, but only if things didn't go wrong like. Or if I didn't bump into anyone I know. Or if people didn't look at me. Reckon I need Harry Potters invisibility cloak

sugar sugar sugar

And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, Imma face my demons
I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 01-15-2011, 04:30 PM
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This is a really timely question for me. Up until the past few weeks I would have never done anything by myself. It was almost a matter of not wanting to admit to myself that I had nobody to do anything with. Like if I avoided the idea I wouldn't have to confront the fact that my social life blows. But these past few weeks I've realized that I'm letting things pass me by. I've been forcing myself to do things I've always wanted to to do and it feels good despite doing them alone. I feel more confident because I'm finally doing what I want to be doing and not caring about what people think. Sure it would be nice to have someone to share it with but when things start to pick up for me again socially I'll have plenty to share.
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 01-15-2011, 07:17 PM
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I often enjoy doing things on my own. Yes, in some ways it increases my confidence. I never liked relying on other people for anything, always liked the feeling of being independent.

Some of my best vacations have been windsurfing trips I've taken by myself. Sailing is a great sport for loners, you can go by yourself --lots of people do-- but there are always other people around to talk to if you feel like it, and lots to talk about, even with strangers, because everyone there is into the same thing.

Like becks said, it is fun to share moments with others, but having the confidence to enjoy things on your own is really pretty special, something that lots of "normal" people don't have.

"To study the Way is to study the self. To study the self is to forget the self. To forget the self is to be enlightened by all things. To be enlightened by all things is to remove the barriers between one's self and others."

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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 01-16-2011, 05:50 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks for the replies!
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 01-16-2011, 10:25 AM
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i left once a party because i didn't felt well (annoying people) and when i got out of the building i loved the smell of fresh night air and i was alone and a clear sky ,and a calmness in the air , just beautiful , i usually like having friends coming with me but in some cases like the one i mentioned i felt very good
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 01-16-2011, 11:14 AM
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I have gone to the movies alone, haven't gone to a restaurant alone because I don't eat out much and I don't think I'd enjoy eating by myself. I haven't traveled anywhere alone, don't think I have the guts to do that yet, so I admire you for going to San Diego by yourself.

I have gone to a few meetup groups alone. Some of them have helped build up my confidence and others, well lets just say that whatever confidence I had was knocked down a couple of notches. But I try not to let that get to me.

I think if I did more activities alone, like traveling or going to restaurants, it would certainly help to build my confidence level.
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 01-16-2011, 03:25 PM
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No, I never do those kind of things alone as I worry that I'll bump into people I know. Although I gladly would if that fear were eliminated.

I'm glad you did though

As long as there's a bed beneath the stars that shine
I'll be fine
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 01-16-2011, 03:51 PM
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When I go to places alone, it's good for my confidence. But when I do it so often I get to the point of thinking "why would anyone do this with another person!" Like going to the movies - I can't even see why you would need to go to the movies with anyone else, it's not like you'll have someone to talk to, you shouldn't be talking through the movie anyway. One day, hopefully this year, I'll build my confidence up enough to go on a true vacation by myself too. And if there's someone in concert that I really really like and want to see, I should just go, instead of missing out.
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