debunking!

[JoshC]

i think one of the most powerful tools is evaluating the way you view things, youre automatic thoughts reguarding social situations and how you interact with the world around you. the point being, to debunk that little negative voice that beats you down during and after every social situation. negating the automatic thoughts and trying to train yourself to automatically think in a more realistic, positive way.

any thoughts or personal stories?

[Cait Sith]

This is definately the way forward. It really helps to catch every single negative thought we have and "debunk" it, it has for me recently at least. I think its important to stay focused on doing this and not relapse into a depressive "i'll never get over this" state. Ive been trying to stay more realistic and positive after social events even when i think i've made mistakes and said wrong things to people. There's no point thinking about how we came across to other people because all they are judging is the SA mask that we are wearing. I know that this facade i put up in social situations is not really me so i am starting to realise that it really doesnt mattter how they are judging my actions. They are not judging me they are judging me+social anxiety. All we can do is keep trying to beat this and correcting our thought patterns. We dont have to listen to the negative voice that always comes into our heads after social events saying "you are a failure", "everyone hated you", "your life is not worth living" etc. these things are not true.

I completely agree we all have to start debunking that inner negative voice. If we keep entertaining our negative thoughts they will only seem more real to us.
Stay positive Josh

[bwidger85]

Because your mind is used to thinking negative things about yourself and others the most logical way to think more positive is to, well, think more positive! It goes beyond just saying words in your head, but actually getting to the point where you believe them.

What I used to do, and still do time to time, is write positive things about myself and about others in a memo-journal or record it on a memo-recorder. I used to take a pen and a small notebook in my back pocket to work and whenever I thought of something that inspired, uplifted or challenged my negative thinking in a positive way, I'd write it down and think about it. Not only is writing and recording your thoughts good for reference but it's very therapeutic. Now that I think about it, having these items with me encouraged me to think more positively, and so I guess the attitude stuck with me.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that most of the thoughts SAers experience are irrational or exaggerated. With this in mind, "debunking" these unwanted thoughts need some focus and determination. Buy self-help books to get positive ideas, get a journal/recorder to log positive and profound ideas, stop bombarding yourself with negative music, television and pop-culture. Start focusing on unity, respect and love, and also start actively experimenting with some things to learn and grow. The more you challenge yourself the more you'll find out! Thinking and staying positive is an active thing in all aspects of your being (mental, spiritual, physical) to utilize most effectively. The first step is always the hardest for nearly everything but as time goes on things begin to get easier and easier. The more knowledge you have about yourself and others, the more you'll be able to see beyond the negative and in a more panoramic view.