WTF is this?

[AprilEthereal]

Ok, I know I'm not Szhitzo, I know I'm not bipolar, there's so many different personality disorders and its so hard to describe wtf is going on with me. When I'm at work i have a emotionless (litterally) voice, sometimes i can't control the pitch or loudness of it. I'm like a frickin doorknob, you say something to me and i'll respond with the littelest amount of effort (even though it feels I do try). People tell me that I don't seem like "me" some days although they've never seen the real "me" EVER. When I'm at home (when I'm the real me) and think of what people said to me at work, I can now think of what I was supposed to say/should have said, but when at work, I just have a blank mind(just completely blank). People give me weird looks like I said something weird or maybe my faicial expressions are wrong, I have no frickin clue. I actually believe people at work think I might be "special" (if you don't get that, i mean mentally retarded). This frustates me to the point of thinking of suicide though I would never do that because it would cause too much pain in my family/few friends. The only thing I can think of is dissasociative identity disorder but my ex-counselor told me that I don't have it. WTF is wrong with me???? It never ends. Day after day after day after day after day after day after day/////////////////////Please, anyone what's wrong with me?

[yeah_yeah_yeah]

Everything you said there would be considered consistent with Social Anxiety Disorder.

Ross

[mserychic]

Originally Posted by yeah_yeah_yeah

Everything you said there would be considered consistent with Social Anxiety Disorder.

Sounds a lot like what I do.

[angelwngs]

Sometimes anxiety causes me to have such discomfort in my stomach...
an ongoing knots in my gut feeling...and the elephant is consistantly sitting on my chest so that I can't get enough air into my lungs to utter an audible, coherrant sentence. Add to that the 'brain fog' that happens due to anxiety which causes my brain to turn off but still allows my mouth to function and the results are an incoherrant rambling of syllables when put together with the monotone voice, I end up sounding like an outpatient who is trying desperately to recover from a frontal lobotomy in the old movie "One Flew Over the CooKoo's Nest". I guess that is why I much prefer written communication over verbal... With written others usually aren't able to see my brain farting and my anxiety in full swing...

[Mr_nobody]

The same thing happens to me. Once I'm away from the situation I suddenly think of something I should have said.

[yeah_yeah_yeah]

Originally Posted by Mr_nobody

The same thing happens to me. Once I'm away from the situation I suddenly think of something I should have said.

'Ruminating' or 'post-mortem'. Classical SA symptom, can happen minutes, hours, weeks and even years later.

I am considering buying a Rubiks cube, and the moment I am tempted to ruminate, attempt the 20 second solution. Drop your desire to pick the conversation apart any way you can and you will be breaking one of the limbs of the SA vicious cycle.

Ross

PS is it wrong to tell someone on SAS you think they look hot in their avatar?

[yojez]

Personally I don't think that this sounds like social anxiety....is the voice in your head YOUR voice or do you believe its somebody else? another thing that I've realized if you go to your therapist and tell them "I think I have this" chances are if they have diagnosed you with some kind of anxiety disorder they will tell you "no you don't" because they just think you are worrying and not that its actually the truth. write down a list of the things that are bothering you and talk to someone again but don't say I think I am dissasociative say "there's some sh*te that bothers me..." hopefully that will work.

[yeah_yeah_yeah]

He didnt mention any voices in his head. He said his voice at work was quiet - his speaking voice.

People on a message board have less idea than a doctor, so go put it to one of those, unless you just wanna talk about it to pass the time.

Ross

[yojez]

whoops sorry i dont know why i put that

[yojez]

Originally Posted by yeah_yeah_yeah

People on a message board have less idea than a doctor, so go put it to one of those, unless you just wanna talk about it to pass the time.

Ross

are you calling me stupid?

[yeah_yeah_yeah]

In that second sentence I'm talking to the OP, making the point that a message board isnt the same as a consulting room.

Post was after yours but not all aimed at you, but why would it upset you even if I thought you were stupid? I only know you from the couple of posts I've read - so how would my opinion be a totally valid one? If your best friend calls you stupid, then I would say get upset. But I'm an internet random - what makes you think I'm in any position to judge you? Or anyone else here reading the thread? I do stupid things, you do stupid things, but that does not make us 100% stupid.

Post what you think is right - even if people don't agree, thats healthy. Its good disagreement and assertiveness practice, which all us SA guys can benefit from.

Sorry CBT is working its way into my arguments now.

Ross

[xmikeox]

please don't fight

[yeah_yeah_yeah]

haha Yoda looks like my gran. Put that big stirring stick away mike!

Yojez hopefully knows I love her (in an SAS brother type way). No flaming contained in above post - only sound behavioural techniques as applied to trying to turn mild irritation into a bizarre form of internet cognitive restructuring.

I suppose a 'no Im not calling you stupid', followed by the 'hug' emoticon would have worked too.

Ross

[Speak Easy]

For some reason, I'm pretty sure yojez was joking. Have you guys ever read any of her other posts?

[FairleighCalm]

It just sounds like a lack of confidence/or interest in what you are saying and then blowing it up, thinking it's something much worse, which is what we do isn't it?

[Augustinus]

Maybe you have Avoidant Personality Disorder (hehe, I throw that around alot): Here's an interesting quote from Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_p ... y_disorder :

Research suggests that people with avoidant personality disorder, in common with social phobics, excessively monitor their own internal reactions when they are involved in social interaction. However, unlike social phobics they also excessively monitor the reactions of the people with whom they are interacting. The extreme tension created by this monitoring may account for the hesitant speech and taciturnity of many people with avoidant personality disorder. They are so preoccupied with monitoring themselves and others that producing fluent speech is difficult.

That is what I think I have.