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10-17-2009, 07:36 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Status: Permanently Banned
Join Date: Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Posts: 125
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Will I ever get married?
I've been praying for a girlfriend for over 6 years. There are no singles group at my church. All the girls there are either too old for, too young for me, have a boyfriend, or just don't like me. I love God, and I'm trying to become a stronger Christian all the time. I'm waiting until after I'm married for sex. I don't drink I don't smoke I don't do drugs I'm a virgin I'm waiting till I'm married for sex.(This include oral and anal) I'm a computer geek I'm planning on becoming a video game programmer.(I'm actually pretty sure that's what God wants me to do too.) I do have basic hygine. I brush my teeth I shower I use deorderent I don't smell badly. I'm about 5'8" feet tall. I have dirty blond hair. I have no disfiguring scars or anything like that. Personalty: I'm nice. loyal respect(I actually look at a girl's face when I'm talking to a girl, and not her breasts) sincere I listen to what girls have to say, and actually care what they are feeling and saying. trusting honest smart I'm shy I do sometimes look at porn(Though I am doing everything I can to stop looking at it. Please pray for me about this.) I have low self confidence I have perverted mind, and like perverted jokes, though I don't act on the pervertedness. I like touching when it comes to girls(Nothing sexual till married) Just stuff like hugs. I'm lonely. I have OCD GAD ADD(Not bad enough to cause any real problems) TMJ Social Anxiety depression |
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10-17-2009, 07:54 PM
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#2 (permalink) |
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Status: Temporarily Banned
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 557
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21 is young, you have plenty of time to find someone.
ps. I hope you are also bringing up all these concerns/questions to a therapist/professional who is more qualified to help than online forumers. |
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10-17-2009, 08:03 PM
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#3 (permalink) |
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Status: Previously Banned
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Canada eh?
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Posts: 1,375
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If you're a Christian, Jesus should be your role model. What I mean is, don't focus on yourself...focus on others. Be kind, gentle, thoughtful, smile...love everybody and eventually that love will be returned.
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10-17-2009, 08:08 PM
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#4 (permalink) |
Status: Seeing stars
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: TN
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Posts: 1,083
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You never know what's waiting around the corner. You could meet the girl you'll spend the rest of your life with tomorrow, as long as you're willing to open up your heart and allow someone to love you, the possibility is always there, for you and everyone else.
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Basically, I'm complicated I have a hard time taking the easy way I wouldn't call it schizophrenia But I'll be at least two people today |
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10-17-2009, 08:19 PM
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#5 (permalink) |
Status: SAS Nonmember
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Philadelphia metro area
Gender: Female
Age: 24
Posts: 103
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No one here has any idea whether you will get married or not, so there's no reason for you to assume one way or the other. Frankly, 21 is far too young to be concerned about such things anyway.
If you're really that concerned about it, I will point out that you will never meet people to date unless you are meeting people in general. Sitting around wishing that they will spontaneously come to you really isn't going to work.
__________________
“People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them.” —Epictetus |
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10-18-2009, 07:44 AM
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#6 (permalink) |
Status: In hiding
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Australia, hiding under a rock somewhere
Gender: Female
Age: 20
Posts: 569
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No one can say for sure. You can't expect that you'll get a definite answer just because you described everything about yourself. I honestly think that a) you're too young to get married anyway and b) you need to work on yourself first. I don't mean that in a bad way. I just mean, if you don't like yourself, how do you expect anyone else to? I think you need more confidence. If you don't already, you really should seek some sort of therapy to talk through this stuff you're carrying around.
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10-18-2009, 07:54 AM
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#7 (permalink) |
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Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: New York, NY
Gender: Male
Age: 46
Posts: 33
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As Yogi Berra said, "It ain't over till it's over." You are still quite young. Just work on having your conditions under control. Sooner or later, if you really want, you will likely find someone.
While hopefully you'll find someone in your 20's, if that will not happen, it can still happen later. I know one man who got married for the first time at age 64 and one woman who got married for the first time at age 59. I and my wife were 44 and 43 respectively when we wed. I know a good number of people marrying for the first time after age 40. It wasn't easy for me. It won't be easy for you, but never give up. |
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10-18-2009, 12:30 PM
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#8 (permalink) | |
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Status: Permanently Banned
Join Date: Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Posts: 125
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Quote:
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10-18-2009, 12:43 PM
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#9 (permalink) |
Status: MIA
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Vancouver BC
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Posts: 509
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I'm waiting for a girl to drop out of the sky.
__________________
"I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds." - Henry Rollins |
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10-18-2009, 05:46 PM
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#10 (permalink) |
Status: Super Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Dayton-Cincinnati, OH
Gender: Male
Age: 34
Posts: 38,628
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You have time - you have all the attributes, but the anxiety and hypochondriasis will be a problem right now.
__________________
millenniumman75 You are a success story waiting to happen! Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover.... Live and HELP live is better! |
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10-18-2009, 06:31 PM
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#11 (permalink) |
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: California
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Posts: 292
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There's degrees of success within the SAS community. Some here remain in your predicament until their 40's. Others here already have success in their teens. There's a wide spectrum of SAS'ers here, and in spite of being united by a common illness, most here still overlook the fact that we're divided by the same differences exhibited in wider society that make up the haves and have nots . So even within an SAD community, there will likely be creme that always rises to the top.
I'd say your probably gonna have it harder because you already got two strikes against you. You only want women in your church and you want a virgin pride. Most guys here will take any living breathing woman and still not luck out. If I'm aware I have SAD and on top of that I demand for a woman that's a certain ethnicity, certain age, certain faith ect I'm limiting my chances drastically. SAD + self imposed limitations = lower probability. That said I have met a few religious folks here who have gotten married in exact way you want. |
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10-18-2009, 07:25 PM
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#12 (permalink) |
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Utah
Gender: Female
Posts: 116
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If all those things you posted about yourself or true, I think you will get married and have a happy life- not that I can say for sure though, but any girl that ends up with you should consider herself lucky! That said, until you get married, just live your life. Don't wait around to find your "wife". And try to open up- no girl will automatically know how great you are unless you open up and show her! good luck, hope you find happiness! =]
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10-18-2009, 09:06 PM
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#13 (permalink) | |
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Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 87
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Quote:
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10-19-2009, 03:10 AM
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#14 (permalink) |
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Minnesota
Gender: Male
Posts: 22
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keep on praying man! God will help you out but remember that marriage is not an easy task and it takes a lot of work to be successful at it. Just be yourself and keep on progressing in your life. what you can do is read some books or just hints and tips online about girls. Since you never had a girlfriend you will learn a lot about them. Just because you prayed doesn't mean she will come running to you, well it could happen but what im trying to say is try to be more around girls and learn them but don't annoy them they hate when guys are all over them, give them some space and they will like you. good luck
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10-19-2009, 03:38 AM
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#15 (permalink) |
Status: Dancing on Rainbows
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Calilalaland
Gender: Female
Age: 21
Posts: 1,775
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You're still really young. A lot of people don't get married until they're over 25.
Marriage takes a lot of work, and not just on one part, but both parts. Be sure you want to get married and that you can really handle it. That said, I want to get married, but I doubt I ever will. I don't worry about it anymore, but I do get saddened by the idea of not ever getting married. Someone told me, I should just focus on education and a career and I won't worry about it anymore, but that's some hard advice to take.
__________________
I scraped my knees while I was praying
And found a demon in my safest haven. Seems like, it's getting harder to believe in anything Than just to get lost in all my selfish thoughts. I wanna know what it'd be like To find perfection in my pride To see nothing in the light Just turn it off In all my spite, in all my spite, I'll turn it off. - Turn It Off - Paramore http://twitter.com/MissEerie |
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10-19-2009, 03:50 PM
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#16 (permalink) |
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: United Kingdom, Northern Ireland
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Posts: 307
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I'm not really worried about getting married soon, but if I do ever get married I hope its before 35 since women's biological clock means having children becomes much more difficult from then on. Come to think of it, it's probably worse for women in that respect, since they can't just get around it by marrying someone younger.
I still have this fantasy that some someone is going to come along who makes all my anxiety run away and then we can live happily ever after. It's ridiculous when I think about it seriously. 
__________________
“There is but a thin line between madness and genius. I have been trying valiantly to cross it, but I don’t think I’m mad enough yet.” |
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10-19-2009, 04:09 PM
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#17 (permalink) | |
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: UK
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Posts: 126
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Quote:
 To the OP, without knowing you and your situation personally I can only give you general advice - and that is to meet people. The more you meet and get yourself out there the more likely you will be to find someone. Forgive me ladies if I'm generalising here, but you don't tend for the most part to be the ones (traditionally anyway) to intiate relationships - thus the onus is on you OP to be the one to put yourself out there and do so.
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Sweet is sleep to me and even more to be of stone,
While the wrong and shame endure. To be without sight or sense is a most happy change for me, therefore do not rouse me. Hush! Speak low. |
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10-19-2009, 09:50 PM
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#18 (permalink) | |
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New South Wales, Australia
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Posts: 158
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Quote:
 I often have this idea cross my mind, will I ever over come my problems & have a relationship again. Lots of the time I think I will never get married & will prob ably end up the old hermit living down the road.
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Web White Noise |
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10-19-2009, 11:05 PM
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#19 (permalink) | |
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Status: Permanently Banned
Join Date: Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Posts: 125
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Quote:
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10-19-2009, 11:12 PM
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#20 (permalink) |
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Status: MIA
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Vancouver BC
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Posts: 509
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My worst fear is the regret when I'm on my death bed realizing I did nothing with my life but fear things.
__________________
"I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds." - Henry Rollins |
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