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Old 04-29-2011, 06:37 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Unhappy Why do I feel everybody hates me?

I dont know what this is, or even if it is "something" but here goes, so when I'm at home I feel like I'm always being watched, like something is always wrong with me and passing through windows I feel paranoid. Even with really thick curtains I assume my neighbors next door can see me through them. There is no part of my house I feel okay except probably the hallway which has no windows. I can't begin to hear people outside my house start talking cause I get scared they'll talk about how weird I am for never leaving my house, how i haven't done anything with my life, what a loser I am and such never anything positive always negative. Even though it might not be true I just don't wish to hear the conversation cause the littlest word that might have something to do with me my thoughts go into a frenzy of like conspiracy theories againest me. Whenever I am out my house, I can't stop but assume I'm such a freak or weirdo that they hate me, probably laughing at me and etc.
It sucks being super anxious all the time, and assuming everyone is plotting against me I wish I had a positive outlook but I just feel like I'm abnormal, weird and I will never be good enough not even for me
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Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them. Jack canfield
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Old 04-29-2011, 06:45 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Yeah feel that way sometimes but maybe not as bad I am always wondering what people are saying about me even if its not about me but then I get so lost in my head I forget about it temporarily but something times it feels like your public enemy number one anxiety is complete pain in the *** always messing with your mind I know I'm screwed up but I should not feel like the biggest outcast on the planet yet I do
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Old 04-29-2011, 06:55 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Sorry that you feel that way I know what it's like too. Just know that all those thoughts you're having are very likely to be false. I know it can be hard to believe, but try to keep reassuring yourself. Forcing your internal dialogue to be positive sounds lame but it can help. Hope you feel better
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Old 04-29-2011, 07:22 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Did you have a bad relationship with your parents? Maybe childhood stuff is still floating around your head.
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Old 04-29-2011, 07:28 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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I don't feel like that when the curtains are closed but I'm always prompt to close them if someone passes. I don't think I have it as serve as you or maybe I do...I don't really know. I can't be in a place if people are speaking low or whispering to each other because I feel they are talking about me. It gets me really flustered and like you, sends me off into a world of reasons why I suck. It's really terrible because I do the same with my family too. It's been such a problem for me that I brought it up to my dad and he reassured me that it wasn't case and I know it's not but in that moment the whole world is after me. After the whole thing, I always feel guilty.
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Old 04-29-2011, 07:39 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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That's exactly how I feel. I'm super paranoid twenty-four seven and for every person I see it feels like they are judging me or out to harm me. It's totally irrational because it can be any age or gender and I always feel the crushing negative thoughts stirring beneath my effort to think about other things. I had a point at a mall recently where I felt so panicked by the amount of people and the feeling that their eyes where burning into me that I felt an intense hatred for everyone and a desire to punch everyones faces. It's that and rushing to get out of the situation as soon as possible.
I wish I knew what to do about it but I've struggled with it for awhile now.
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Old 04-29-2011, 10:59 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by LALoner View Post
Did you have a bad relationship with your parents? Maybe childhood stuff is still floating around your head.
In a way yeah cause I never really had privacy and my mom is a control freak that likes to know everything so I lack the confidence to do things on my own without guidance:/
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Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them. Jack canfield
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Old 04-29-2011, 11:03 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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That's exactly how I feel. I'm super paranoid twenty-four seven and for every person I see it feels like they are judging me or out to harm me. It's totally irrational because it can be any age or gender and I always feel the crushing negative thoughts stirring beneath my effort to think about other things. I had a point at a mall recently where I felt so panicked by the amount of people and the feeling that their eyes where burning into me that I felt an intense hatred for everyone and a desire to punch everyones faces. It's that and rushing to get out of the situation as soon as possible.
I wish I knew what to do about it but I've struggled with it for awhile now.
I've had many situations like that, where I feel strongly like everytones againest me, laughing at me, it then leads to a crazy frenzy of me wanting to cuss them out, lash out at them and it's gotten me in trouble with a lady once cause I gave her my attitude when she assured me she wasnt doing anything? I hate how my mind has a mind of it's own, wish everything could go back to normal and be naive, I rather be naive then know the "truth" and be hypersensitive and on my toes all the time.
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Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them. Jack canfield
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Old 04-30-2011, 05:22 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
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do you have any idea what may be causing this? did your parents ever make comparisons of you to other children of a similar age when you were younger?
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Old 04-30-2011, 01:21 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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I was the same way around 20 - going on prozac and doing CBT helped though.
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Old 04-30-2011, 03:59 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by changeforthebetter View Post
do you have any idea what may be causing this? did your parents ever make comparisons of you to other children of a similar age when you were younger?
They never really compared me to other children, but I did feel like I never lived up to their expectations for the way they were and still are very judgmental towards what me & my siblings do, or anyone else in general, mostly my mom, I know I got my negative attributes from her.
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A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. - David Brinkley

Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them. Jack canfield
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Old 04-30-2011, 04:01 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by LostPancake View Post
I was the same way around 20 - going on prozac and doing CBT helped though.
Indeed, I really need help for this, I had a really bad episode yesterday at a restaurant, I feel like it's getting worse, cause I couldn't even have a conversation with my friend without feeling like someone was listening in:/
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A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. - David Brinkley

Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them. Jack canfield
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Old 04-30-2011, 04:19 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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I think the intensity of your "paranoia" is high and kind of a problem, one that should be helped. I would like to give you advice but im kind of in the same boat. I don't like my neighbors as they are "ghetto"(hope i don't offend anyone) and im sure they think im weird as I too don't leave the house. i rarely go out because i feel like you in that i haven't done anything with my life. I just wish you well and hope things get better for you.
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Old 04-30-2011, 04:24 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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I had that all the time. Itīs normal symptom of SA. First one I overcome with CBT. It wasnīt that hard.
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Old 04-30-2011, 05:10 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Cbt would probably be good for you, I don't know an awful lot about the more in depth effects of childhood on things like this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tess4u View Post
I can't stop but assume I'm such a freak or weirdo that they hate me, probably laughing at me and etc.
It sucks being super anxious all the time, and assuming everyone is plotting against meI wish I had a positive outlookbut I just feel like I'm abnormal, weird and I will never be good enough not even for me

This sounds similar to something I worked through in cbt, it doesn't affect me in the same way now. It's a nasty repetitive thing to re-inforce all the time, try writing it down and de-constructing it with socratic questioning like:

1. 'Why do you say that?', 'Could you explain further?' 2. 'Is this always the case?', 'Why do you think that this assumption holds here?'
3. 'Why do you say that?', 'Is there reason to doubt this evidence?'
4. 'What is the counter argument for?', 'Can/did anyone see this another way?'
5. 'But if what happened, what else would result?', 'How does...affect...?'
6. 'Why do you think that I asked that question?', 'Why was that question important?', 'Which of your questions turned out to be the most useful?'


Courtesy of wikipedia


Good luck!

And remember to cut yourself a ton of slack, things take time and the little (sometimes uncomfortable) intricasies are all just part of the bigger picture.
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Old 04-30-2011, 06:12 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tess4u View Post
I dont know what this is, or even if it is "something" but here goes, so when I'm at home I feel like I'm always being watched, like something is always wrong with me and passing through windows I feel paranoid. Even with really thick curtains I assume my neighbors next door can see me through them. There is no part of my house I feel okay except probably the hallway which has no windows. I can't begin to hear people outside my house start talking cause I get scared they'll talk about how weird I am for never leaving my house, how i haven't done anything with my life, what a loser I am and such never anything positive always negative. Even though it might not be true I just don't wish to hear the conversation cause the littlest word that might have something to do with me my thoughts go into a frenzy of like conspiracy theories againest me. Whenever I am out my house, I can't stop but assume I'm such a freak or weirdo that they hate me, probably laughing at me and etc.
It sucks being super anxious all the time, and assuming everyone is plotting against me I wish I had a positive outlook but I just feel like I'm abnormal, weird and I will never be good enough not even for me


I feel like people think I'm weird or a freak to . In fact I worry all the time about it sucks. Grr I wish so much that we all not not have to suffer from SA!
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Old 04-30-2011, 06:23 PM   #17 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tess4u View Post
Indeed, I really need help for this, I had a really bad episode yesterday at a restaurant, I feel like it's getting worse, cause I couldn't even have a conversation with my friend without feeling like someone was listening in:/
Yes, please do get help - an SSRI can really help turn down the volume on such obsessive thoughts, and then CBT can help you learn to think differently.

At its worst I felt like there was this giant eye in the sky glaring at me 24 hours a day - at first it just judged my actions where people could see me or hear me, but then it grew to where was judging my every thought, even when I was alone.

And I don't think you would necessarily get to that point, just saying that meds and CBT can be really helpful, even if it seems like the thoughts are overwhelming and out of your control.
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My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains
My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk,
Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains
One minute past, and Lethe-wards had sunk
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Old 05-01-2011, 02:41 AM   #18 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LostPancake View Post
Yes, please do get help - an SSRI can really help turn down the volume on such obsessive thoughts, and then CBT can help you learn to think differently.

At its worst I felt like there was this giant eye in the sky glaring at me 24 hours a day - at first it just judged my actions where people could see me or hear me, but then it grew to where was judging my every thought, even when I was alone.

And I don't think you would necessarily get to that point, just saying that meds and CBT can be really helpful, even if it seems like the thoughts are overwhelming and out of your control.
I was on zoloft for a while and i recently came off it, because i still had my paranoid thoughts and just made me really numb and easily irritable, I now can tell the difference now that im off of it, good side is i now dont feel like a zombie but have noticed my paranoia has gotten a bit worse and i lack the mild carefree attitude i felt on it. So im thinking of trying something else, cause i dont think an SSRI is really what i need for my paranoia(no offense but cbt might be really good.
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Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them. Jack canfield
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Old 05-01-2011, 02:58 AM   #19 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tess4u View Post
In a way yeah cause I never really had privacy and my mom is a control freak that likes to know everything so I lack the confidence to do things on my own without guidance:/
That will screw you up really bad.
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Old 05-01-2011, 03:05 AM   #20 (permalink)
 
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That will screw you up really bad.
Yea...the best way i can put it is like in the movie the Black Swan where Nina's mom is overprotective and babies her a lot, which leads to Nina being the way she is, fragile, innocent, etc. My mom isn't as crazy as the mom portrayed in the movie but somewhere along those lines, of being a perfectionist, controlling, overprotective, paranoid parent which has lead not much room for me to grow, and be okay and sure of myself, I lack being able to do things by myself at times because of that, I cant even leave my own house alone:! without having crazy thoughts.
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Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them. Jack canfield
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