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Old 04-24-2013, 02:15 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Hey again, I remembered suddenly of a very weird condition I had when I was young, in which I would be obsessed with doing things a certain number of times in a row (for example, checking if the door is locked 3 times, spitting 5 times after brushing my teeth, marking a letter 5 times, and more stuff I cant seem to recall right now), I know for example that checking the door a few times is a sign of insecurity, but what about spitting or marking a letter? I'm sure this wasn't normal. I remember I felt really weird about it, like I HAD to do it or ELSE something really bad would happen. I also had a tendency to walk on a certain side of a street or to sit on a certain side of a bus/class/couch in home, the sides also switched. I don't know what the hell it was but evidently, I still have some of these weird, well, I don't even know how to call these things.... Like, I still spit a certain time of times after brushing my teeth, I still have this feeling, like possession of some sort. Can somebody help me figure what it is? I mean, maybe it's my key to discovering what made me socially anxious? It was very bothering me at that time and I think it started when I was around 7-8. If it helps, I had 2 friends back then, elementary school, I was living with my grand mother since my mom was studying in a college for 3 years and I wasn't depressed at all at that time, just a bit insecure about making new friends, but when it came to talk to my usual friend it was fine. I also didn't like to call anyone I never called before, it made me feel very nervous and unpleasant. Diagnose me please, I suppose? :S
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Old 04-24-2013, 02:16 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Sounds like obsessive-compulsive disorder.
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Old 04-24-2013, 02:23 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Oh my god. From Wikipedia: "Symptoms of the disorder include excessive washing or cleaning; repeated checking; extreme hoarding; preoccupation with sexual, violent or religious thoughts; relationship-related obsessions; aversion to particular numbers; and nervous rituals, such as opening and closing a door a certain number of times before entering or leaving a room." That's EXACTLY what I had, and also about the sexual thing, I had really weird thoughts of this: I felt like whenever I think of something, god knows what I'm thinking about. It felt REALLY strange and made me very scared and also gave me feelings of guilt whenever I thought of something sexual or something bad like for example, I had this kind of thing where at nights I would tell myself stories in my head, it felt nice at the first few years but then when this disorder came my stories fast became a bundle upon my head, because I was obsessed with thinking about dragons, snakes, reptiles in general, I loved them very much since a young age. All started when I saw a TV show when I was like 5 with a huge snake and 2 people escaping it. At the end they escaped but I felt like I wanted the snake to eat them, and that thought made me feel satisfaction, which then made me to think I'm evil... Oh god I'm returning to my diaper times here o_O Anyway, in my stories I used to always imagine a situation where I'm the dragon or snake or reptile and that I'm strong, big and really sexy too. And always I imagined the bullies at school laughing at me, and me becoming so mad I turn into a dragon, burn them and swallow them, or swallow them alive. I was specifically attracted to the swallowing part. Maybe it was a self defense mechanism of some sort? Cause I really feel I was a true weirdo when I was young now... And that I still am :S
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Old 04-24-2013, 02:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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"Despite the irrational behavior, OCD is sometimes associated with above-average intelligence. Its sufferers commonly share personality traits such as high attention to detail, avoidance of risk, careful planning, exaggerated sense of responsibility and a tendency to take time in making decisions" I remember I always had an obsession to responsibility too. Making homework, works, and things as fast as I can, meaning, on the first day I have my assignment giving, I wouldn't even eat or sleep before I have finished it. This didn't pass fully yet, but the thing with the homework and works did a bit, I'm not so stressed with doing them on time now. Also, I had an obsession of not being late (we had a school blacklist for people who are late and they would be punished if late for more than 3 times a month) and always also felt that if I will get that punishment I won't be able to live anymore (meaning I felt it was so important, I risked life not to be late lol). I also indeed pay a lot of attention to everything, and people have been saying I have high sensitive intelligence... And I was TOO organized (had a lot of decisions). This is creeping me now ._.
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Old 04-24-2013, 02:49 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Ok so, I realized it's a rare genetic disease and that I was cursed with having it... Now what am I supposed to do?!?! >___< *feels utterly depressed right now.....*
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Old 04-24-2013, 03:00 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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lool which one.
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Old 04-24-2013, 03:51 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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lool which one.
Lol, didn't think of that :3 But I meant the OCT :\ And I guess all of them are... Thanks mom and dad. -________________________________-
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Old 04-24-2013, 04:03 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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We've been talking about this in your other thread. See a Psychiatrist.
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Old 04-24-2013, 04:13 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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We've been talking about this in your other thread. See a Psychiatrist.
Well I got news about that. I'm going to see one on the 8th of May, that's not so far away, I hope I can handle 2 weeks and a bit...
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Old 04-24-2013, 04:15 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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that's not a rare genetic disease. you don't have any of those! it sounds like your ocd-ness has subsided as you've gotten older. but feel free to revisit any of this with your therapist / psychiatrist.
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Old 04-24-2013, 04:23 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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that's not a rare genetic disease. you don't have any of those! it sounds like your ocd-ness has subsided as you've gotten older. but feel free to revisit any of this with your therapist / psychiatrist.
Well now thinking, I realized the fear has gone, but the rituals, not. I just remembered that when I turn off the light before going to bed I hesitate a lot if I put everything in place and if everything is settled for me to go sleep, so before I push the button I look around the room like half a minute... I'm sure there's more but I wont try to recall it on purpose... :3
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Old 04-24-2013, 04:47 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Well now thinking, I realized the fear has gone, but the rituals, not. I just remembered that when I turn off the light before going to bed I hesitate a lot if I put everything in place and if everything is settled for me to go sleep, so before I push the button I look around the room like half a minute... I'm sure there's more but I wont try to recall it on purpose... :3
i do something like that before i leave the house. like i get out the door, but then i hesitate to close the door behind me. do i have everything with me, am i ready to go. that's what i think. it's not like it would be the end of the world if i closed the door when i still needed something, since i usually know i have my keys, but i still wait in the doorstep until i'm positive i'm not forgetting anything (yeah for like half a minute). i hope me saying this doesn't trigger any recalls :<
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Old 04-24-2013, 04:52 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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i do something like that before i leave the house. like i get out the door, but then i hesitate to close the door behind me. do i have everything with me, am i ready to go. that's what i think. it's not like it would be the end of the world if i closed the door when i still needed something, since i usually know i have my keys, but i still wait in the doorstep until i'm positive i'm not forgetting anything (yeah for like half a minute). i hope me saying this doesn't trigger any recalls :<
Just that my mom does the same sometimes =P
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Old 04-24-2013, 05:35 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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oh it will probably happen to you, if you can't even turn off your own light without surveying your room for an eternity. it never happened to me until i had to leave my house by myself. before that, i always left with my mom, and when i left with her i knew i was in good hands, i counted on her to have everything. and she typically did.
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Old 04-24-2013, 06:21 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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that doesn't sound too unreasonable you guys. It's good to be safe and secure before you leave. Some of the other stuff is a bit OCD'ish, which comes our in me when I am stressed.
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