Social Anxiety Support

helpless · 10-09-2009, 02:20 PM

Well, I showered today, for the first time in going into 3 weeks.

Also, used dandruff shampoo.

Will need to get a set of brushes and combs, to get all of the flakes out of my scalp, after the shampoo loosens it, & keep it up (if I can do so, as depressed as I am).

I cannot even bear to look at myself in the mirror.

I am starting to look like a hermit. And, probably smell like one too.

I'm thinking of getting a haircut and shaving (which I haven't done in probably 3 weeks) next week.

I am so depressed just thinking of putting a razor on my face, or water on my body, is repugnant.

My personal appearance has deteriorated so, I really doubt that any grooming, or new clothes will improve it.

shadowmask · 10-09-2009, 02:23 PM

Are you in any kind of therapy right now?

helpless · 10-09-2009, 02:29 PM

Yes, I am, shadowmask.

It's lay therapy, rather than professional, tho, because I don't want to spend the money on a pro, and I feel that often, lay people make better thereapists than pros.

(I have seen, & paid a pro in the past, & while he was a nice guy I could be friends with, his couchside manner grated on me).

Right now, in addition to the individual lay counsellor I'm seeing, I'm also in a 12 Step group, altho I don't really believe that SA is an affliction anyone can 12 step themselves out of.

I am, however, meeting a lot of people with a lot of problems both similar to, and totally alien to mine, and often far worse than mine.

sprout · 10-09-2009, 04:38 PM

Congrats! You've taken the first step, which is probably the most difficult. Don't try to accomplish everything in one day; pace yourself, maybe one task a day. You can do it.

helpless · 10-10-2009, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sprout

Congrats! You've taken the first step, which is probably the most difficult. Don't try to accomplish everything in one day; pace yourself, maybe one task a day. You can do it.

Thanks, sprout. I just dont' feel like doing anything!

I'm forcing myself to do anything that I do.

I've got to really keep at it to get rid of the dandruff, and the Tinea Versicolor (yes, I have that loathsome infection also, if you haven't seen "Friendly Fungus" thread).

I've got some extra money & plan to go to the barber next week, also. (My hair has gotten about as long as a hermit's hair would be).

vak3 · 10-10-2009, 01:24 PM

I know what you mean. I just did a similar thing a couple days ago. And I'm getting a hair cut on Tuesday. Granted its not that big a deal if I dont get a hair cut (being a girl and all), but shorter hair is easier to not take care of, if you know what I mean. I got all clean and then a few days later I decided I had to do it again, even though I didn't want to. I made a rule for myself that I have to do it at least once a week. Preferably twice. And just stay in there. It does feel nice once you can motivate yourself to get in. Just keep pushing. I know sort of what you are dealing with

britisharrow · 10-10-2009, 05:12 PM

I have been through this, my thinking was "when I did wash and groom myself people didn't like me so what's the point." Try and think of it this way, "not washing or looking after myself certainly isn't helping matters."

You owe self-respect to yourself, not to others, try and do it even though it can seem pointless.

helpless · 10-11-2009, 02:28 PM

Thanks for the supportive posts, everyone!

millenniumman75 · 10-11-2009, 03:31 PM

Do what you can and don't beat yourself for anything that you can't do right away. It will get easier the more you try

.

helpless · 10-12-2009, 02:33 PM

Well, I took another shower today, and used dandruff shampoo.

I also shaved off my hermit like beard.

tomorrow, I'm planning to go to the barber, and get this Howard Huges hermit like hairstyle shortened.

Sad to say, I'm inhibited & reluctant to use the shower, because I am paranoid, about moisture from it rotting the floorboards, since I am in an apartment on a floor above my neighbors.

That possibility is terrifying to me.

millenniumman75 · 10-12-2009, 07:10 PM

Just use an absorbent bathmat.

Neptunus · 10-12-2009, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by helpless

Well, I took another shower today, and used dandruff shampoo.

I also shaved off my hermit like beard.

tomorrow, I'm planning to go to the barber, and get this Howard Huges hermit like hairstyle shortened.

Sad to say, I'm inhibited & reluctant to use the shower, because I am paranoid, about moisture from it rotting the floorboards, since I am in an apartment on a floor above my neighbors.

That possibility is terrifying to me.

Keep up the good work! You can do it!!!

John_in_SF · 10-12-2009, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by helpless

Well, I took another shower today, and used dandruff shampoo.

I also shaved off my hermit like beard.

tomorrow, I'm planning to go to the barber, and get this Howard Huges hermit like hairstyle shortened.

Sad to say, I'm inhibited & reluctant to use the shower, because I am paranoid, about moisture from it rotting the floorboards, since I am in an apartment on a floor above my neighbors.

That possibility is terrifying to me.

Cheers! And here's to finding your very own Melvin. And, by the way, you really ought, as a multi-billionaire, learn to SPELL YOUR NAME PROPERLY.

Delicate · 10-12-2009, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by helpless

I am so depressed just thinking of putting a razor on my face, or water on my body, is repugnant.

I've been there and get there again sometimes, for me it's when everyday things that should be the norm gets related so intesnely in my mind to other negative associations that it feels healthier to become sort of comotose. I guess that vanity sort of pulls me out of it.

helpless · 10-13-2009, 03:53 PM

Thanks for all the great responses, everybody!

And, to John in SF: sometimes I do spell Hughes correctly, but while, like a lot of SAs, & am also an OCD perfectionist, my tpying on message boards isn't one thing I'm that OCD about.

Didn't shower today, or go to the barber, but plan to see the barber tomorrow. Don''t know if I'll shower & dandruff shampoo my head beforehand or not.

I have been told one should use dandruff shampoo every single day for a whole month, to get rid of it, but the shampoo irritates my skin, so I think every other day would be about as frequently as I could do the dandruff shampoo.

helpless · 10-14-2009, 03:42 PM

Well, Folks, I went to the barber today, and got my hermit looking hair cut to a much shorter hairstyle.

Barber told me on the dandruff problem not to rub the dandruff shampoo into the scalp too hard, but just gently rub it it.

Said my scalp was very dry, and all that rubbing would only lead to more flaking.

Anyone think I should be using a scalp moisturizer?

Neptunus · 10-14-2009, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by helpless

Well, Folks, I went to the barber today, and got my hermit looking hair cut to a much shorter hairstyle.

Barber told me on the dandruff problem not to rub the dandruff shampoo into the scalp too hard, but just gently rub it it.

Said my scalp was very dry, and all that rubbing would only lead to more flaking.

Anyone think I should be using a scalp moisturizer?

That's great!

You know what's a great dandruff shampoo? T-gel by Neutrogena! It's much better than Head and Shoulders and Tegrin. It's kind of pricey, and smells like crap, but it works! Maybe you should give it a try.

http://www.amazon.com/Neutrogena-T-G.../dp/B000052XZP

http://www.amazon.com/Neutrogena-T-G...owViewpoints=1

helpless · 10-15-2009, 02:24 PM

Phoebus, I'll have to check & see what the name of the dandruff shampoo I'm using is. Can't remember now.

One that I use is Selsun Blue, altho that's obviously not the one I can't remember the name of.

secretlyshecries · 10-18-2009, 07:57 AM

When I get really depressed, I can't not wash my hair because it gets too gross if I don't and that just makes me feel worse.

Neptunus · 10-18-2009, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by helpless

Phoebus, I'll have to check & see what the name of the dandruff shampoo I'm using is. Can't remember now.

One that I use is Selsun Blue, altho that's obviously not the one I can't remember the name of.

Yeh, the "T" in "T-gel" stands for tar... as in that's what it's derived from. Not to worry, though, it doesn't coat your scalp like tar! It's like dandruff shampoo on steroids and used to be prescription only. Sometimes you can get rid of your dandruff with just one application, and it's no more harsh on your hair than other, regular, dandruff shampoos. A friend introduced me to it... and as you can guess, I think it's great, because none of the other shampoos worked for me!

10-09-2009, 02:20 PM	#1 (permalink)
helpless Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 110	Took A Shower Today Well, I showered today, for the first time in going into 3 weeks. Also, used dandruff shampoo. Will need to get a set of brushes and combs, to get all of the flakes out of my scalp, after the shampoo loosens it, & keep it up (if I can do so, as depressed as I am). I cannot even bear to look at myself in the mirror. I am starting to look like a hermit. And, probably smell like one too. I'm thinking of getting a haircut and shaving (which I haven't done in probably 3 weeks) next week. I am so depressed just thinking of putting a razor on my face, or water on my body, is repugnant. My personal appearance has deteriorated so, I really doubt that any grooming, or new clothes will improve it. __________________ Once An SA, Always an SA

10-09-2009, 02:23 PM	#2 (permalink)
shadowmask Status: Seeing stars Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: TN Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 1,085	Are you in any kind of therapy right now? __________________ Basically, I'm complicated I have a hard time taking the easy way I wouldn't call it schizophrenia But I'll be at least two people today

10-09-2009, 02:29 PM	#3 (permalink)
helpless Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 110	Yes, I am, shadowmask. It's lay therapy, rather than professional, tho, because I don't want to spend the money on a pro, and I feel that often, lay people make better thereapists than pros. (I have seen, & paid a pro in the past, & while he was a nice guy I could be friends with, his couchside manner grated on me). Right now, in addition to the individual lay counsellor I'm seeing, I'm also in a 12 Step group, altho I don't really believe that SA is an affliction anyone can 12 step themselves out of. I am, however, meeting a lot of people with a lot of problems both similar to, and totally alien to mine, and often far worse than mine. __________________ Once An SA, Always an SA

10-11-2009, 02:28 PM	#8 (permalink)
helpless Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 110	Thanks for the supportive posts, everyone! __________________ Once An SA, Always an SA

10-11-2009, 03:31 PM	#9 (permalink)
millenniumman75 Status: Super Moderator Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Dayton-Cincinnati, OH Gender: Male Age: 34 Posts: 38,682	Do what you can and don't beat yourself for anything that you can't do right away. It will get easier the more you try . __________________ millenniumman75 You are a success story waiting to happen! Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover.... Live and HELP live is better!

10-09-2009, 04:38 PM	#4 (permalink)
sprout Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Female Age: 34 Posts: 55	Congrats! You've taken the first step, which is probably the most difficult. Don't try to accomplish everything in one day; pace yourself, maybe one task a day. You can do it.

10-10-2009, 01:24 PM	#6 (permalink)
vak3 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: New Hampshire Gender: Female Posts: 22	I know what you mean. I just did a similar thing a couple days ago. And I'm getting a hair cut on Tuesday. Granted its not that big a deal if I dont get a hair cut (being a girl and all), but shorter hair is easier to not take care of, if you know what I mean. I got all clean and then a few days later I decided I had to do it again, even though I didn't want to. I made a rule for myself that I have to do it at least once a week. Preferably twice. And just stay in there. It does feel nice once you can motivate yourself to get in. Just keep pushing. I know sort of what you are dealing with

10-10-2009, 05:12 PM	#7 (permalink)
britisharrow Status: 3rd SAS Battalion Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Glasgow, UK Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 455	I have been through this, my thinking was "when I did wash and groom myself people didn't like me so what's the point." Try and think of it this way, "not washing or looking after myself certainly isn't helping matters." You owe self-respect to yourself, not to others, try and do it even though it can seem pointless.

10-12-2009, 02:33 PM	#10 (permalink)
helpless Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 110	Well, I took another shower today, and used dandruff shampoo. I also shaved off my hermit like beard. tomorrow, I'm planning to go to the barber, and get this Howard Huges hermit like hairstyle shortened. Sad to say, I'm inhibited & reluctant to use the shower, because I am paranoid, about moisture from it rotting the floorboards, since I am in an apartment on a floor above my neighbors. That possibility is terrifying to me. __________________ Once An SA, Always an SA

10-12-2009, 07:10 PM	#11 (permalink)
millenniumman75 Status: Super Moderator Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Dayton-Cincinnati, OH Gender: Male Age: 34 Posts: 38,682	Just use an absorbent bathmat. __________________ millenniumman75 You are a success story waiting to happen! Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover.... Live and HELP live is better!

10-13-2009, 03:53 PM	#15 (permalink)
helpless Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 110	Thanks for all the great responses, everybody! And, to John in SF: sometimes I do spell Hughes correctly, but while, like a lot of SAs, & am also an OCD perfectionist, my tpying on message boards isn't one thing I'm that OCD about. Didn't shower today, or go to the barber, but plan to see the barber tomorrow. Don''t know if I'll shower & dandruff shampoo my head beforehand or not. I have been told one should use dandruff shampoo every single day for a whole month, to get rid of it, but the shampoo irritates my skin, so I think every other day would be about as frequently as I could do the dandruff shampoo. __________________ Once An SA, Always an SA

10-14-2009, 03:42 PM	#16 (permalink)
helpless Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 110	Well, Folks, I went to the barber today, and got my hermit looking hair cut to a much shorter hairstyle. Barber told me on the dandruff problem not to rub the dandruff shampoo into the scalp too hard, but just gently rub it it. Said my scalp was very dry, and all that rubbing would only lead to more flaking. Anyone think I should be using a scalp moisturizer? __________________ Once An SA, Always an SA

10-15-2009, 02:24 PM	#18 (permalink)
helpless Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 110	Phoebus, I'll have to check & see what the name of the dandruff shampoo I'm using is. Can't remember now. One that I use is Selsun Blue, altho that's obviously not the one I can't remember the name of. __________________ Once An SA, Always an SA

10-18-2009, 07:57 AM	#19 (permalink)
secretlyshecries Status: In hiding Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Australia, hiding under a rock somewhere Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 569	When I get really depressed, I can't not wash my hair because it gets too gross if I don't and that just makes me feel worse.