Social Anxiety Support

Miserable At Best · 05-12-2009, 04:36 PM

So I have had Anxiety for a while now and one of my copy mechanisms I guess is self injury...
The weird thing is I don't 'cut' to be exact, I really pick at my skin. My arms are all scabbed up because I am constantly picking at them to the point where they bleed. Most of the time I don't even realize I am doing it. I suppose it is more of a nervous habit. In the past I have cut myself and am currently trying to stop with the help of therapy (ugh I hate saying I am in therapy...)
Anyway, its a horrible habit and I can't stand to look at the scars all over my arms because frankly, its gross. I never wear short sleeves or tank tops because my upper-arms are totally scarred.

Does anyone else have nervous habits or suffer from self injuring?

p.s; I don't want anyone saying I am 'emo' for cutting myself. Honestly I am not proud of it and I am currently really working on trying to stop. I don't advertise my scars to people and when people ask I tell them I have a skin condition. It's not something I think teenagers should be doing as a trend, but sadly some people think that self-injury is 'O.K'.

Its not.

dawntoearth · 05-12-2009, 04:40 PM

I struggle with self injury. It has a lot of stigmas attached to it, as most mental illness issues do..

Some things that help me are calling a friend or my therapist, exercising, and journaling.

Miserable At Best · 05-12-2009, 04:45 PM

I don't have anyone in my life right now that knows I do it, and talking about it would just make my parents worry.

randomname · 05-12-2009, 04:48 PM

I do the same when I'm stressed, thankfully not so much recently but it's still bad when it happens. I'll scratch at my arms or my face and it's horribly scabbed and awful looking when I've done it. It sounds mad, but I stopped it by carrying a tiny toy car around with me. When I get nervous I spin the wheels on it and play about with it. It possibly makes me look strange but I suppose it's a talking point and better than scabbed-up arms.

I've been having some trouble with cutting, though. I don't do it when I'm sad, or emotional. It just seems to be that when I'm near a knife I have this compulsion to slice my arm with it. I've always done it in the same spot so I have a scar but only the one. I just get a kind of high from doing it. I don't really understand it. It doesn't seem to be related to stress, so maybe it doesn't count.

Miserable At Best · 05-12-2009, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by randomname

I do the same when I'm stressed, thankfully not so much recently but it's still bad when it happens. I'll scratch at my arms or my face and it's horribly scabbed and awful looking when I've done it. It sounds mad, but I stopped it by carrying a tiny toy car around with me. When I get nervous I spin the wheels on it and play about with it. It possibly makes me look strange but I suppose it's a talking point and better than scabbed-up arms.

I've been having some trouble with cutting, though. I don't do it when I'm sad, or emotional. It just seems to be that when I'm near a knife I have this compulsion to slice my arm with it. I've always done it in the same spot so I have a scar but only the one. I just get a kind of high from doing it. I don't really understand it. It doesn't seem to be related to stress, so maybe it doesn't count.

I have had the same problem with cutting too. I don't do it to release stress that much (Sometimes I cut myself when I feel frustrated with myself for having a panic attack over something stupid) but most of the time I am just fascinated by the blood. It sounds horrible, crazy, and taboo but I just like seeing my skin bleeding. I like having the control I suppose. But I don't like the scars it leaves and I know its not healthy so I am really trying to stop.

Lately I have been biting the skin around my nails to the point where all the tips of my fingers are bloody and sore. I have to put band-aids on all of them before I go to bed every night...its really a burden...

namastecadet · 05-14-2009, 05:14 PM

I will pick my scabs from time to time. but mainly I just have a habit of picking the skin around my fingers. It really sucks. Sometimes I do it when I'm stressed out other times i'll do it subconsciously. I've been dealing with it for quite some time. I'm finally get some "treatment" (therapy) for it. I usually try to hide the areas that I pick from others, because I am embarrassed and it's hard for me to open up and talk about it.

Iced Soul · 05-14-2009, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miserable At Best

I have had the same problem with cutting too. I don't do it to release stress that much (Sometimes I cut myself when I feel frustrated with myself for having a panic attack over something stupid) but most of the time I am just fascinated by the blood. It sounds horrible, crazy, and taboo but I just like seeing my skin bleeding. I like having the control I suppose. But I don't like the scars it leaves and I know its not healthy so I am really trying to stop.

Lately I have been biting the skin around my nails to the point where all the tips of my fingers are bloody and sore. I have to put band-aids on all of them before I go to bed every night...its really a burden...

That doesn't sound horrible or crazy at all, really. I can relate.

UltraShy · 05-14-2009, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by namastecadet

I will pick my scabs from time to time.

I'm a scab-picker too. I really don't think my behavior falls under self-injury though. I think my picking at anything that can be picked at is an OCD issue. I don't think I have the same motive as those who will do things like cut themselves, though I'm not sure.

Keirelle · 05-14-2009, 10:33 PM

I have mentioned here before, but what I do, usually when very stressed or about to have a panic attack, is to scratch my wrists. I do it over and over in the same spot until the skin is gone and I bleed.

I am 28 and a mom, so clearly cutting isn't something that just younger people deal with, though it is portrayed that way.

Oddly enough, I have realized that I almost zone out when I am doing it, because I have tried out of curiosity to just scratch my wrist that long when I am not under any stress and I can't because it hurts too much! But yet, when I am using it to cope with something, I don't even fully realize I am doing it sometimes.

Self injury doesn't need to be razor blades and knives to still be SI. Even just hitting your arm on something until it bruises is considered a form of it. And any of those forms are just a way to cope.

In any case, yeah we know it isn't the best way to deal with things. And my scars are not pretty, and it sucks when I get yet another infection and have to make up some story about how I did it (my psychiatrist knows, but I don't like to get into it with every doctor I might see), but because I know when I do it and why, I have been able to lower the amount I use it to 'help'. In fact, I haven't done any serious form of it in several months (meaning no scars- though I have dug my fingernails into my arms, or scratched some, but not like I used to).

That is all we can do, keep working on not doing it, and keep working on better coping skills...

LALoner · 05-16-2009, 05:12 AM

I've always wondered why its mostly women who do this. When I was young my depression was beyond words and I never cut myself, stopped eating or anything like that. No matter how bad life gets for me, I want to eat. I wish someone would explain this whole thing to me. I once asked a cutter and she said cuz she felt bad on the inside she wanted to feel bad on the outside too. That only makes sense if you suffer from Y chromosome deficiency.

SoloSage · 05-16-2009, 06:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LALoner

When I was young my depression was beyond words and I never cut myself, stopped eating or anything like that. No matter how bad life gets for me, I want to eat.

I can relate. I am a very anxious person, seriously depressed some times (rarely suicidal though), but never bite my nails, overeat, or cause any form of self-harm. In truth, I've never really shown any outward signs of depression or anxiety at all. To most people, I come across as a chilled-out introvert. In all honesty, I try to avoid pain at all costs, be it emotional or physical.

VetChick · 05-17-2009, 12:11 PM

I have the same problem. I'm scrape at the skin on my wrists until it bleeds or hurts too much. It calms me down for a while.

Ceilidh · 05-18-2009, 01:20 PM

I tend to pinch myself or bite my lip really hard to calm myself down because I know if I don't hurt myself I'd end up hurting someone else /:

millenniumman75 · 05-18-2009, 01:23 PM

***Thread Advisory***
Just a reminder, be careful when posting on this subject - it can trigger people struggling this issue.

OhNoTaylor · 05-18-2009, 08:57 PM

It's something I've been struggling with for the past five years or so. I've gone almost six months now without hurting myself. Ugh it's really my most shameful secret.

05-12-2009, 04:36 PM	#1 (permalink)
Miserable At Best Status: ...A thousand Miles Away Join Date: May 2009 Location: New England, USA Gender: Female Age: 17 Posts: 26	Self Injury (poss triggers) So I have had Anxiety for a while now and one of my copy mechanisms I guess is self injury... The weird thing is I don't 'cut' to be exact, I really pick at my skin. My arms are all scabbed up because I am constantly picking at them to the point where they bleed. Most of the time I don't even realize I am doing it. I suppose it is more of a nervous habit. In the past I have cut myself and am currently trying to stop with the help of therapy (ugh I hate saying I am in therapy...) Anyway, its a horrible habit and I can't stand to look at the scars all over my arms because frankly, its gross. I never wear short sleeves or tank tops because my upper-arms are totally scarred. Does anyone else have nervous habits or suffer from self injuring? p.s; I don't want anyone saying I am 'emo' for cutting myself. Honestly I am not proud of it and I am currently really working on trying to stop. I don't advertise my scars to people and when people ask I tell them I have a skin condition. It's not something I think teenagers should be doing as a trend, but sadly some people think that self-injury is 'O.K'. Its not. __________________ 'Cause maybe then I could sleep at night I wouldn't lie awake until the morning light This is something that I'll never control My nerves will be the death of me, I know So here's to living life miserable And here's to all the lovely stories that I've told Maybe drinking wine will validate my sorrow Every man needs a muse and mine could be the bottle

05-12-2009, 04:45 PM	#3 (permalink)
Miserable At Best Status: ...A thousand Miles Away Join Date: May 2009 Location: New England, USA Gender: Female Age: 17 Posts: 26	I don't have anyone in my life right now that knows I do it, and talking about it would just make my parents worry. __________________ 'Cause maybe then I could sleep at night I wouldn't lie awake until the morning light This is something that I'll never control My nerves will be the death of me, I know So here's to living life miserable And here's to all the lovely stories that I've told Maybe drinking wine will validate my sorrow Every man needs a muse and mine could be the bottle

05-14-2009, 10:33 PM	#9 (permalink)
Keirelle Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Canada Gender: Female Posts: 286	I have mentioned here before, but what I do, usually when very stressed or about to have a panic attack, is to scratch my wrists. I do it over and over in the same spot until the skin is gone and I bleed. I am 28 and a mom, so clearly cutting isn't something that just younger people deal with, though it is portrayed that way. Oddly enough, I have realized that I almost zone out when I am doing it, because I have tried out of curiosity to just scratch my wrist that long when I am not under any stress and I can't because it hurts too much! But yet, when I am using it to cope with something, I don't even fully realize I am doing it sometimes. Self injury doesn't need to be razor blades and knives to still be SI. Even just hitting your arm on something until it bruises is considered a form of it. And any of those forms are just a way to cope. In any case, yeah we know it isn't the best way to deal with things. And my scars are not pretty, and it sucks when I get yet another infection and have to make up some story about how I did it (my psychiatrist knows, but I don't like to get into it with every doctor I might see), but because I know when I do it and why, I have been able to lower the amount I use it to 'help'. In fact, I haven't done any serious form of it in several months (meaning no scars- though I have dug my fingernails into my arms, or scratched some, but not like I used to). That is all we can do, keep working on not doing it, and keep working on better coping skills... __________________ __________________________________________ "I don't wanna be lonely, I just wanna be alone..." __________________________________________

05-16-2009, 05:12 AM	#10 (permalink)
LALoner Status: SAS Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: City of Angels Gender: Male Posts: 301	I've always wondered why its mostly women who do this. When I was young my depression was beyond words and I never cut myself, stopped eating or anything like that. No matter how bad life gets for me, I want to eat. I wish someone would explain this whole thing to me. I once asked a cutter and she said cuz she felt bad on the inside she wanted to feel bad on the outside too. That only makes sense if you suffer from Y chromosome deficiency. __________________ More about Depersonalization Disorder than you want to know.

05-17-2009, 12:11 PM	#12 (permalink)
VetChick Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: West Covina,California Age: 20 Posts: 85	I have the same problem. I'm scrape at the skin on my wrists until it bleeds or hurts too much. It calms me down for a while. __________________ “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us..." -Marianne Williamson

05-12-2009, 04:40 PM	#2 (permalink)
dawntoearth Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Boston Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 95	I struggle with self injury. It has a lot of stigmas attached to it, as most mental illness issues do.. Some things that help me are calling a friend or my therapist, exercising, and journaling.

05-12-2009, 04:48 PM	#4 (permalink)
randomname Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Gender: Female Age: 17 Posts: 47	I do the same when I'm stressed, thankfully not so much recently but it's still bad when it happens. I'll scratch at my arms or my face and it's horribly scabbed and awful looking when I've done it. It sounds mad, but I stopped it by carrying a tiny toy car around with me. When I get nervous I spin the wheels on it and play about with it. It possibly makes me look strange but I suppose it's a talking point and better than scabbed-up arms. I've been having some trouble with cutting, though. I don't do it when I'm sad, or emotional. It just seems to be that when I'm near a knife I have this compulsion to slice my arm with it. I've always done it in the same spot so I have a scar but only the one. I just get a kind of high from doing it. I don't really understand it. It doesn't seem to be related to stress, so maybe it doesn't count.

05-14-2009, 05:14 PM	#6 (permalink)
namastecadet Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2009 Gender: Female Posts: 104	I will pick my scabs from time to time. but mainly I just have a habit of picking the skin around my fingers. It really sucks. Sometimes I do it when I'm stressed out other times i'll do it subconsciously. I've been dealing with it for quite some time. I'm finally get some "treatment" (therapy) for it. I usually try to hide the areas that I pick from others, because I am embarrassed and it's hard for me to open up and talk about it.

05-18-2009, 01:20 PM	#13 (permalink)
Ceilidh Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Wales Gender: Female Age: 18 Posts: 49	I tend to pinch myself or bite my lip really hard to calm myself down because I know if I don't hurt myself I'd end up hurting someone else /:

05-18-2009, 01:23 PM	#14 (permalink)
millenniumman75 Status: Super Moderator Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Dayton-Cincinnati, OH Gender: Male Age: 34 Posts: 38,652	*Thread Advisory* Just a reminder, be careful when posting on this subject - it can trigger people struggling this issue. __________________ millenniumman75 You are a success story waiting to happen! Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover.... Live and HELP live is better!

05-18-2009, 08:57 PM	#15 (permalink)
OhNoTaylor Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Florida Gender: Female Age: 19 Posts: 155	It's something I've been struggling with for the past five years or so. I've gone almost six months now without hurting myself. Ugh it's really my most shameful secret.