Wow, this is intense... I totally understand/know where you're coming from. I tend to analyze boby language way too much but anyway, I'm gonna try and throw my two cents in:
In the PsychologyToday blogs, i once read something to the effect that everyone feels like people can read their thoughts... it's just a human thing (or something) It's got an actual name but I can't remember it. Something "spotlight" or something.
But it will get better, the whole not finding the right words and stuff... it just just takes a lot of work ( and anxiety) to get thru it.
Remember, it's up to them to understand YOU. Active listening! And you're probably not the dumbest or the smartest in the room so it's just like everyone's trying to get on "the level," even tho none of us really know what that is : )
I've found existentialism to be a big support for me. We humans are ( don't freak out) absurd. We've all been thru ****, felt on top, been a no one, it's just how life is. But existentialism says "Having anxiety means you're an individual." And I think this is so true. People with anxiety care! In a way, we are like the artists of life! As an existentialism says: Every choice we make puts meaning out into the world... I think of every action against my own social anxiety is also a rebellion against the judgemental-ness of society as a whole!
And conversation is always surely to be a little strained when you've had the world to think about... I mean, small talk for instance, it's nothing new really when someone tells you that they were born 3 days before their cousin... I was born 1 day before mine! And? And I've found that being overly expressive is fine and dandy! Of course, it's easier at a party or a group of people, but don't be afraid to give the look that says "wow, this didn't go anywhere, and it's neither of our's fault, it's just how things are!"
I think a social-anxieteer (like me) is always on the look-out to connect and find meaning. However, it COMES and GOES, for whatever cosmic reason..
If you can get real with life, anxiety is everywhere, but I've come to say that living in a comfortable cocoon is as bad as being on drugs... neither is where life really is!
Maybe social anxieteers are really intelligent and thoughtful, and so they KNOW there's nothing you can really say to make the situation better, or worse, or neither, or hellish, or heavenly... it's just all too hard to figure out! When you get in this state of mind, even for a moment, you can tap into the freedom that lies in existing: that there IS no pattern or true rhythm. JUST BUST A MOVE! And to those who want to judge the quirkiness of life itself? Well I have a haughty little song line for: "Be ignored by the stiff and the bored because I'm gonna!" People who won't give the time of day for awkwardness are living-in-a-****ing-cocoon . That's why I like bowling alley's, haha.
But in all seriousness, living with anxiety and acting out of it is awesome, commendable, and ****ing exciting lol. Pleasure, good may come, it may not... it's just the choice of acting which is where life really is.
Peace, Love, and Absurdity,