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Old 04-17-2006, 09:29 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Obsessing over a Person

Iím beginning to realize that Iím literally obsessed with one of my college roommates. I canít get him (yes, a guyÖ) out of my head, so Iím constantly thinking about him, what heís doing, etc. This is, in a way, causing me to suffer a bit in terms of my studies because itís very difficult for me to concentrate on my assigned readings when I get this mental image of him every few seconds, so Iím a little behind. In a way I can understand my obsession since I donít have any friends at my university (besides him, and Iím even starting to question this friendship, but thatís a separate topic). In the grand scheme of things, letís just say that this situation is making my life very miserable.

Has this ever happened to anyone, and if so, is there any way to live your life without constantly thinking about another person?
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Old 04-18-2006, 07:28 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Are you trying to live vicariously through this person? Honestly, it's not as abnormal as you think. Everyone obsesses about something...

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Old 04-18-2006, 07:38 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Been there, done that. The best thing to do is find something to keep your mind off him. I realize that may not help if the problem is that thoughts of him are distracting you from trying to do other things, but it's all I can tell you.
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Old 04-18-2006, 12:25 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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I used to be obsessed with somebody. I wanted to know everything about him and everything he did. When he would occasionally give me a tidbit of information about himself, I would think about it constantly. I put this guy up on a pedastle, I viewed him as perfect even though common sense and logic told me that no human is perfect. One time I even waited outside the place he worked so I could secretly follow him home and then I realized I was going too far and I didn't want to turn into some kind of crazed stalker. Eventually, I moved away and my obsession faded. Now I just view him as a role model, someone I might want to model my life after, but I don't think about him constantly anymore.
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Old 04-19-2006, 09:19 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Default I FEEL YOUR PAIN!

MAN OH MAN! that is my problem right now too! im totally obsessed with this one guy as well. it is like my whole life revolves around him! for example, when i wake up in the morning i have trouble finding out what to wear for the day just in case i might just happen to run into him.

im literally always thinking about him every second of everyday, and i want to know everything about him and what he is doing! and everything that he has said to me in the past, i analyze his words to see if they meant anything. i am aware of irrational thoughts as well, but i honestly do think there is something between us, its weird. he has hit on me a few times.

the trouble is, hes friends with my boyfried, and for that I FEEL REALLY HORRIBLE, very guilty FOR THINKING LIKE THIS,. ive had this crush for a looooooong time and i cant seem to get over it!! it really causes a lot of distress in my life. im even pushing my boyfriend away from me and being emotionally distant with him although i love him dearly. and another thing, because i have this anxiety, in one way i want to see this guy when i get the chance, but then in another way i dont want to unless i look good and feel confident because i become very anxious and nervous around him, and start acting so stupid that it embarasses me and makes me LITERALLY depressed, so ive chosen to AVOID him at times. when im by myself or with my own friends and hes in the same bar/restaurant/area but may be across the room (and were not talking one on one), im ok, i can function with my friends, but when i come around him, i really lose my breath and become very anxious and cant speak!

but yeah i can relate with "whiteclouds" when she noted how she was obsessed with some guy and wanted to follow him home. ive felt like doing that too, driving by his place to see if i can catch a glimpse of him, and wanting to call him private just to hear his voice (although i managed to stop myself from doing that which is good!) but then i stop and think to myself, this is weird, im being weird, i do feel like a stalker and i need to stop thinking like this! but its really hard!

is something wrong with me! i really feel there is!!

i really dont know what to do or how to get over him! I DONT EVEN KNOW IF I WANT TO?!?!?! i would love to be with this crush but im in a wonderful relationship as well. so im torn in two. . in one way i want to get over this crush because its tormenting my life, but on the other hand its like im trying or wanting to hold onto this crush just in case something can happen in the near future!

i also dont feel confident in my looks, and thats whats bothering me too, because this crush can get any beautiful girl that i cannot compare too. i feel like an ugly duckling.

IM SO CONFUSED!! IM LOST! can anyone else relate!! HELP!!!!!
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Old 04-20-2006, 08:33 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Yep all the time. I am notorious (lol, at least in my own mind) for obsessing about people for months on end. The only thing that I've found to kill this obssession is time, distance, or both. Maybe let the obsession run it's course and don't try to fight it, and if it doesn't fade after a while try to distance yourself from the person. Get involved with things that will distract you.

And hey Down123, don't know if you've posted a lot recently but I haven't see you around in a while and was wondering what had happened to you! You might not remember me but whenever I read your posts I could always relate to them. The post on this thread too. If there is something wrong with you then there's something wrong with me because I do that same sorts of things.
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Old 04-21-2006, 06:17 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: I FEEL YOUR PAIN!

Quote:
Originally Posted by down123
MAN OH MAN! that is my problem right now too! im totally obsessed with this one guy as well. it is like my whole life revolves around him! for example, when i wake up in the morning i have trouble finding out what to wear for the day just in case i might just happen to run into him.

im literally always thinking about him every second of everyday, and i want to know everything about him and what he is doing! and everything that he has said to me in the past, i analyze his words to see if they meant anything. i am aware of irrational thoughts as well, but i honestly do think there is something between us, its weird. he has hit on me a few times.

the trouble is, hes friends with my boyfried, and for that I FEEL REALLY HORRIBLE, very guilty FOR THINKING LIKE THIS,. ive had this crush for a looooooong time and i cant seem to get over it!! it really causes a lot of distress in my life. im even pushing my boyfriend away from me and being emotionally distant with him although i love him dearly. and another thing, because i have this anxiety, in one way i want to see this guy when i get the chance, but then in another way i dont want to unless i look good and feel confident because i become very anxious and nervous around him, and start acting so stupid that it embarasses me and makes me LITERALLY depressed, so ive chosen to AVOID him at times. when im by myself or with my own friends and hes in the same bar/restaurant/area but may be across the room (and were not talking one on one), im ok, i can function with my friends, but when i come around him, i really lose my breath and become very anxious and cant speak!

but yeah i can relate with "whiteclouds" when she noted how she was obsessed with some guy and wanted to follow him home. ive felt like doing that too, driving by his place to see if i can catch a glimpse of him, and wanting to call him private just to hear his voice (although i managed to stop myself from doing that which is good!) but then i stop and think to myself, this is weird, im being weird, i do feel like a stalker and i need to stop thinking like this! but its really hard!

is something wrong with me! i really feel there is!!

i really dont know what to do or how to get over him! I DONT EVEN KNOW IF I WANT TO?!?!?! i would love to be with this crush but im in a wonderful relationship as well. so im torn in two. . in one way i want to get over this crush because its tormenting my life, but on the other hand its like im trying or wanting to hold onto this crush just in case something can happen in the near future!

i also dont feel confident in my looks, and thats whats bothering me too, because this crush can get any beautiful girl that i cannot compare too. i feel like an ugly duckling.

IM SO CONFUSED!! IM LOST! can anyone else relate!! HELP!!!!!
Oh my god! I can totally relate! I just came on here intending to start a thread about it but what you said is exactly how I would describe my situation!!! I too have been emotionally distant with my boyfriend because of slight attention from another guy, it's so ridiculous. I also play out scenes and conversations in my head of me and this guy...then I have to stop myself and just tell myself to get real! I am at a loss as to what is wrong with me?! Am I just insecure and am looking for attention from anyone I can get ot from? It's just that my boyfriend is such a fantastic person, he's level headed and knows about my problems and wants me to get better so why am I obsessing about someone I don't even know that well?? I wish I had some answers here but I just try and tell myself to be rational, but don't worry you're not alone!
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Old 06-01-2007, 03:43 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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hi everyone....its me again....sad to say but......im still 'obsessed' with this guy :S. i posted this about a year ago.

what does that mean on my part? its still tearing me up inside . im trying sooo hard to fix myself up and to realize this is not healthy to think this way but nothing will set me free from this stress . seeing him or talking to him still brings me anxiety then i end up avoiding him. its sooo bad. and im still with my boyfriend who loves me to bits and when im with him i just think about this other person . what is wrong with me? like really....
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Old 06-01-2007, 08:51 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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You have to look at what is drawing your thoughts? Does he have something you feel you lack? If so, what is it - and can you develop it on your own.
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Old 06-02-2007, 06:07 AM   #10 (permalink)
 
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barnabas, too, used to be obsessed with a certain someone for over three months. D:

fortunately she then developed a shorter and shorter attention span.

as horrible as this sounds, barnabas thinks you should break up with you boyfriend because you don't seem to really love him and you stay with him only because "he loves you to bits." if possible, try to move far, far away from him and the person you're obsessed with. in a new place, you can get acquainted with new people and (eventually) forget all about your former crush slash unhealthy obsession.
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Old 06-02-2007, 09:18 AM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Woah old post! I used to think about a lot a therapist I fell in love with. Then I stopped by amusing myself that she was an old hag! An old hot hag!
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Old 06-02-2007, 01:01 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Yeah I do/have had that happen.
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Old 06-03-2007, 12:25 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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how can i get over this too long obsession? its been way too long and its making me suffer. i think about this person every waking minute of every day. and when at the odd times we see each other i analyze the way he is with me and the things he says to me....why??? i know he must think im on the verge of being insane because i still cant really talk to him in a civilized and proper manner after all these years of knowing him and at being 24 years old... like commone .
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Old 06-03-2007, 12:26 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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yeah i can definately relate to this, i'm completely obsessed over my ex-therapist but shes married with kids........so yeah thats not good....
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Old 06-03-2007, 12:30 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: re: Obsessing over a Person

Quote:
Originally Posted by down123
hi everyone....its me again....sad to say but......im still 'obsessed' with this guy :S. i posted this about a year ago.

what does that mean on my part? its still tearing me up inside . im trying sooo hard to fix myself up and to realize this is not healthy to think this way but nothing will set me free from this stress . seeing him or talking to him still brings me anxiety then i end up avoiding him. its sooo bad. and im still with my boyfriend who loves me to bits and when im with him i just think about this other person . what is wrong with me? like really....
do you like this guy more than your boyfriend? or is just mostly physical attraction? it sounds like you're in love with him
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Old 06-03-2007, 12:51 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
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yeah i really really like this guy ALOT. but hes in a relationship to with this amazingly beautiful woman. and there is no way i would compare to her. people would prob make fun of this guy if he left her for me lol. i dont know if he knows i like him lol. prob does cuz i can never talk around him or with him. he must think im a fool for real. . but i still want him :S. even though we cant make conversation and have awkward moments :s.

this is so horrible. and im in a long time relationship too. and this guy loves me sooo much too. and hes already talking about a life and future with me and ending life in the same cemetary with me too lol. he would do anything for me!! literally! he would give me anything!! and he believes in me that i can do anything even though i have SA (although i dont think he really realizes what SA is and how affected i am...he just thinks i will grow out of it and that its no big deal) but all i feel for this guy is that he is my best friend right now. i didnt want to get so deep in this relationship but me with this SA i had noone else to talk to. he was always there for me to give me advive and to hang out. and now he wants to be with me forever! i barely had a chance to experience life! im so confused i dont know what to do! im pretty much going to be with this guy forever now too :S. i wish i could just do my things for a little while and then come back to him when i felt satisfied but it doesnt work like that. we cant call a time off theres no way. his family, my family and him would be like "what the fu@k...why?" everyone is pretty much expecting us to get married...literally...expecting us. i said "not yet" but regardless, they are expecting it between us at some point in life. im doomed :S.

and i cant even believe im on here obsessing and thinking about this guy which is prompting me to write all thic cr@p...meanwhile i should really be focusing on MY life and my school and my work but i cant. and this guy that i like is prob enjoying himself right now NOT even thinking one bit of me . so i cant believe i waste my time thinking about him!!! but i cant stop it :S.
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Old 06-03-2007, 12:53 PM   #17 (permalink)
 
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I do this sometimes too and I hate it.
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Old 06-03-2007, 05:54 PM   #18 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by down123
yeah i really really like this guy ALOT. but hes in a relationship to with this amazingly beautiful woman. and there is no way i would compare to her. people would prob make fun of this guy if he left her for me lol. i dont know if he knows i like him lol. prob does cuz i can never talk around him or with him. he must think im a fool for real. . but i still want him :S. even though we cant make conversation and have awkward moments :s.

this is so horrible. and im in a long time relationship too. and this guy loves me sooo much too. and hes already talking about a life and future with me and ending life in the same cemetary with me too lol. he would do anything for me!! literally! he would give me anything!! and he believes in me that i can do anything even though i have SA (although i dont think he really realizes what SA is and how affected i am...he just thinks i will grow out of it and that its no big deal) but all i feel for this guy is that he is my best friend right now. i didnt want to get so deep in this relationship but me with this SA i had noone else to talk to. he was always there for me to give me advive and to hang out. and now he wants to be with me forever! i barely had a chance to experience life! im so confused i dont know what to do! im pretty much going to be with this guy forever now too :S. i wish i could just do my things for a little while and then come back to him when i felt satisfied but it doesnt work like that. we cant call a time off theres no way. his family, my family and him would be like "what the fu@k...why?" everyone is pretty much expecting us to get married...literally...expecting us. i said "not yet" but regardless, they are expecting it between us at some point in life. im doomed :S.

and i cant even believe im on here obsessing and thinking about this guy which is prompting me to write all thic cr@p...meanwhile i should really be focusing on MY life and my school and my work but i cant. and this guy that i like is prob enjoying himself right now NOT even thinking one bit of me . so i cant believe i waste my time thinking about him!!! but i cant stop it :S.
it sounds like you feel a bit trapped in your current relationship....maybe it would help if you asked for a bit of space....if he really loves you i think he would respect your wishes......also i think you should try to do whats best for you, rather than what other people want or expect you to do.....anyways good luck
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Old 06-03-2007, 10:51 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
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I always do this. I obsess over one girl to the next. It's really pathetic. I'm utterly alone when I'm not around a person I don't even know. All I do is day dream about them like 24/7.
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Old 06-04-2007, 01:05 AM   #20 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: I FEEL YOUR PAIN!

Quote:
Originally Posted by down123
MAN OH MAN! that is my problem right now too! im totally obsessed with this one guy as well. it is like my whole life revolves around him! for example, when i wake up in the morning i have trouble finding out what to wear for the day just in case i might just happen to run into him.

im literally always thinking about him every second of everyday, and i want to know everything about him and what he is doing! and everything that he has said to me in the past, i analyze his words to see if they meant anything. i am aware of irrational thoughts as well, but i honestly do think there is something between us, its weird. he has hit on me a few times.

the trouble is, hes friends with my boyfried, and for that I FEEL REALLY HORRIBLE, very guilty FOR THINKING LIKE THIS,. ive had this crush for a looooooong time and i cant seem to get over it!! it really causes a lot of distress in my life. im even pushing my boyfriend away from me and being emotionally distant with him although i love him dearly. and another thing, because i have this anxiety, in one way i want to see this guy when i get the chance, but then in another way i dont want to unless i look good and feel confident because i become very anxious and nervous around him, and start acting so stupid that it embarasses me and makes me LITERALLY depressed, so ive chosen to AVOID him at times. when im by myself or with my own friends and hes in the same bar/restaurant/area but may be across the room (and were not talking one on one), im ok, i can function with my friends, but when i come around him, i really lose my breath and become very anxious and cant speak!

but yeah i can relate with "whiteclouds" when she noted how she was obsessed with some guy and wanted to follow him home. ive felt like doing that too, driving by his place to see if i can catch a glimpse of him, and wanting to call him private just to hear his voice (although i managed to stop myself from doing that which is good!) but then i stop and think to myself, this is weird, im being weird, i do feel like a stalker and i need to stop thinking like this! but its really hard!

is something wrong with me! i really feel there is!!

i really dont know what to do or how to get over him! I DONT EVEN KNOW IF I WANT TO?!?!?! i would love to be with this crush but im in a wonderful relationship as well. so im torn in two. . in one way i want to get over this crush because its tormenting my life, but on the other hand its like im trying or wanting to hold onto this crush just in case something can happen in the near future!

i also dont feel confident in my looks, and thats whats bothering me too, because this crush can get any beautiful girl that i cannot compare too. i feel like an ugly duckling.

IM SO CONFUSED!! IM LOST! can anyone else relate!! HELP!!!!!
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