My concern was that the original poster had talked about reading about the symptoms of Love Shyness and decided they were a perfect fit for the disorder. Given that the disorder doesn't yet stand in a lot of professional environments and also given that self diagnosis is a dangerous thing, I questioned. The person may well have love shyness but they need to check things out with a qualified professional to be sure.
Dr Gilmartin's stuff is more than open to challenge and interpretation and I really think that people should talk to a qualified professional before they make the assumption that they are suffering from "love shyness". Just because you think you fit the bill does not mean you have it.
"And joinmartin, the disorder will never be universally recognized because this only affects I think 3% of the male population. You'll never see this in the DSM or any other books because "professionals" chalk it up to simple shyness and prescribe empty solutions like "oh just approach her and tell her how you feel, stop being a wimp".
Well, first of all, any professional who said "stop being a wimp" should and or would be struck off. That's your interpretation and assumption about what professionals say. And they don't all prescribe empty solutions either. A love shy male can approach and talk to someone in the sense that they have legs and they have a voice. What's preventing them is not lack of ability. It's fear.
"The fact of the matter is, it's a debilitating disorder that you would never understand unless you were going through it. "
Well, yes and no. Nobody can walk a mile in another person's shoes and understand fully but people can understand things without going through them.
"It's even more than just paralyzing anxiety at the mere thought of engaging with a woman in a non-platonic way; its combined with the fact that you were not socialized properly growing up to even know how to interact with them sexually/romantically."
So, if you develop "love shyness" then that automatically means you were not taught how to properly and correctly interact with a woman sexually or romantically? As if there's some correct way to do so and what exactly is being "socialised properly"?
Again, not a lack of ability automatically but a fear.
And given that I've just read Gilmartin talking about "love shy men's obsession with women of high natural beauty", personally, boy is some of this open to challenge and interpretation. Of high natural beauty? Would be a wonderful experiment to challenge Gilmartin to go out and find some of these women of "high natural beauty" and get everyone to accept that they have "high natural beauty".
And Gilmartin also makes references in his work on love shyness to astrology, auras, reincarnation, past life regression...doesn't automatically dismiss the work but I find it interesting that people on here would accept "love shyness" as a fact but a lot of people on here would not accept discussions based on past life regression, auras etc.
And then there's the stuff about love shy males and musical preferences. Apparently, according to Gilmartin's research: non love shy males buy rock albums and only rock albums.
Seriously? I'm not a qualified professional. But get this checked out if you think you might have this. It's more than open for challenge and interpretation and you need to check your mental health with a qualified professional and or your doctor and not just take it as read that you have love shyness.