Let's play a game: what's wrong with me?

[chair]

SA's about cleared up. Currently dealing with leftover problems, but having a fair amount of trouble finding any information on the problems that I have been having.

I don't know if my feelings are valid or what.

But I've always felt like other people's emotions are generally false, and that people generally only express emotions in order to manipulate others, or because of social obligations. Gah, that sounds terribly cynical, but for some specific examples:

- If someone says they like me, I'll assume that's only because they'll want something from me later on, or because they're trying to boost their own ego by playing nice.
- If my mom says that she wants me to watch tv with her, I'll assume that's only because she wants me to run snack duty, find the remote, etc.
- All my life, I've assumed that married couples didn't love each other, and only got together out of convenience or for sex and reproductive purposes.

I've never really liked or felt very strongly for anyone in particular. I don't seek out the company of others for anything other than practical reasons.

I'm not a psychopath or a sociopath. I didn't drown puppies as a kid, I don't break laws, I possess empathy, and generally attempt to be kind to others. I like people, but not specific ones.

I don't have low self-esteem, but I am kind of paranoid about getting screwed over by the world.

I'm not a narcissist. I do generally find other people annoying on a personal level, but I don't think that I'm better than them intrinsically.

I'm not uncomfortable with intimacy, it's just that I don't experience deep feelings for others or see any meaningful reason for it.

I'm happy the way I am, but I feel like these feelings are going to hold me back and affect my quality of living later on in life. For instance, it's harder to get a good job if you're not friends with the boss. It's more difficult to find an apartment or trustworthy roommates if you don't like anyone in the area, etc, etc.

If you could suggest something that I could read up on in order to help alleviate this, that'd be tops.

[riceboy247]

Well, some people genuinely do like you. Make they enjoy being around you because they hold an intelligent conversation with you. I think you talk smart and have a lot of incite to offer.

I think your mom is just lonely, cuz I always someone next to me when I watch TV or movie on netflix. There is nothing wrong with that.

It's true that a lot of marriages seem like they just want sex or some kind gain from each other but they can love each as well. It's just that a lot of relationships fail due to many reasons inside of them. And you've just been overlooking the lasting relationships old people in their 70s still holding hands. They do it cuz they love each other and don't care if people think they're old.

I think the only problem is that you have a hard time trusting people and believing that people can truly love. And reason to why may be because you never got the chance to experience a relationship (no matter how big or small) where you fully trusted the person/thing/ability.

[Pialicious88]

did something bad ever happen to you, why are you so paranoid about people's intentions

[tea111red]

You think too negatively and don't look for the positive side in things.

[Snowblind89]

Many of you views are accurate. False emotions are an undeniable feature of our society, and they help people attain things. I believe you are simply able to see through the facade that many people put on to the real motivations behind some of their actions.

I am not sure how accurate your perceptions are in the cases you described, but I can say with certainty that many people do fake their emotions as you described and use people to attain their desires. It is important to decide for yourself what your own intentions are.

[mut]

telling someone you like them, in order to boost your own ego, doesn't have to be called 'false'.. it's just the way life is.. even if some people think they like you.. the reason for them liking you will always be complicated if you try to analyse it..