Getting out of the habit of using Alcohol.....

[Oronare]

Hello everyone.

I don't have friends really, although that might sound sort of contradictory when i go into the story a little more, and you would have to really know me as a person to get why i don't consider them friends.

Anyway.

For the first time in a very very long time i went out last Friday night to a few bars/clubs with a "Friend" who had been bothering me to come out for some time. From past experiences of going out to places it is a living nightmare for me, where cold sweats and heart beat rates skyrocketing are soon to follow, I found that drinking helped me come out of my shell and relax a little more. Obviously, this time was no exception and I got a little (to say the least) buzzed, although, I don't get hangovers no matter how much i drink, and of course I changed into a completely different person right away and even though i still wouldn't talk to or approach a girl, I still felt more relaxed and enjoyed the night more.

I don't want this to become a regular thing, because I would like to go out a lot more for the live music experience, company for one thing (which, i wont get into now but..yeah....I'd like some company once in a while) and just getting out of my room and away from the Computer. I feel like I would become dependent on Alcohol in order to be who I desperately want to be whilst out.

People always say things like;

"OHHHHH Just do it! Just talk to them! Get over yourself! What's the worst that could happen!"

And, I still just can not do anything about it. I think that I am the most ugly, boring, self-deprecating, uninteresting and inept person on the Planet and why on Earth would a Girl want to even converse with me, let alone want me to go up to her when she is having a good time and me ruin her night.

Conversation is a big thing with me Sober. I just can not converse, they always end after the greeting and my mind goes blank. Not fully blank of course, it just empties and fills with negative thoughts, however, when I drink i become a lot more talkative and feel like a much more fun person.

Anyway, this has gone on a little too much and become more of a rant than i wanted it to be.

My point is, Alcohol dependency is something I am now genuinely afraid of, because right now it seems to have been instilled in me that "If i drink...i'll automatically become much more open, talkative and generally more fun" And in order to get over my Shy/quietness i need Alcohol.

Thanks

[millenniumman75]

Oronare,

You have discovered that alcohol is not necessarily needed after all. It is all in being comfortable with yourself, and telling the voices where to go. We let ourselves get down with the way we think. We deserve better than that.

I would try to go on one occasion with them without alcohol. Then, come home and list out all o fthe things you are thinking.....or come up with a list beforehand - then go out and see which ones actually happened and which ones did not happen.

[shyvr6]

You said that you still can't approach women after drinking alcohol. That right there should tell you that alcohol isn't the answer. You have to stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself. If you tell yourself that you already failed before you start then chances are you're not going to suceed.

[person86]

I wouldn't worry too much about it, honestly. Lots of folks have trouble being sociable without alcohol - why do you think so many people equate "getting smashed" and "partying"?

Plus, the typical story I hear nowadays is that less than 3 units of alcohol per day (or something like 20 per week) isn't seriously detrimental to health. So you ain't going to die of liver failure either.

edit: this is coming from me, an alcoholic, so please take it with a grain of salt.

[pita]

I gradually came to the realization that I don't look as cool as I think I do when I am intoxicated. I also came to the realization that it's actually easier to socialize when I'm sober because I won't say as many foolish things. I'd rather say nothing at all than something that will make me cringe every time I think about it. I'm cringing right now, actually.

[dax]

I have a bad alcohol problem, I drink a lot. And I mean not just when I'm out occasionally, but when I'm by myself and bored. When I got nothing else to do (which is all weekend) I sit around and drink by myself. I'm a champion. But I'm not an alcoholic so I can control it. Do what you want, just don't let IT control YOU.

[Lys787]

I know when i drink it is to medicate myself. The drinking always leads to more anxiety. I would not suggest drinking if you would like to beat the anxiety. It also leads to depression.

[liarsclub]

Originally Posted by pita

I gradually came to the realization that I don't look as cool as I think I do when I am intoxicated. I also came to the realization that it's actually easier to socialize when I'm sober because I won't say as many foolish things. I'd rather say nothing at all than something that will make me cringe every time I think about it. I'm cringing right now, actually.

I've come to the same conclusion. I have a huge regret/cringing problem. I've found that alcohol can give me a lot to cringe over. I'm kind of glad I didn't drink in my early 20's. It gave me more of a chance to build social skills. I did kind of feel like I was missing out though. I never understood how people were having such a good time they would spontaneously go "Wooo"!