Social Anxiety Support

clouddead · 11-06-2009, 02:40 PM

I just noticed something. Suffering from depression for about 4 years now has really started to affect my personality as of late. I used to be the type of person who wanted to be friends or at least be in good terms with everybody. Now I don't care for that and I actually realize all these people I once wanted to be friends with, suck. I consider them ignorant. I consider them anything that makes me feel superior to them.

I used to try to avoid hurting people's feelings and I never tried to make friends & acquaintances feel bad about themselves. Now I sometimes see myself trying to make them feel bad and don't care if I end up hurting them. It actually makes me feel better if I do.

Don't get me wrong though, there's still a few people I truly care about and I do show my careness to them and don't act like what I just described. It's just with the general masses is that I act like this.

Anyone know why? Anybody else experienced something similar to this?

shadowmask · 11-06-2009, 02:45 PM

I've had depression for so long that it is my personality. I feel like if I suddenly became happy, I wouldn't know who I am anymore.

illlaymedown · 11-06-2009, 03:20 PM

That's what depression does, that's why it's such a big problem to the people experiencing it and the people they come in contact with

You know the old saying "Misery loves company"...kinda fits with depression...you lose interest and gradually lose caring as well...sometimes I've felt so numb inside I couldn't cry over things that should've made me. One time my cousin got in a car accident and I was so depressed I could barely show how concerned I was and she almost died....made me feel so guilty for so long, but I know that wasn't really me. In my case, I've felt so bad inside for so long, it's just gotten numb. That's what happens when you consistently feel pain over a long period of time. I try to force myself to do things that I don't want to because of depression though like simply taking a shower. It helps a little.

Canadian Brotha · 11-06-2009, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadowmask

I've had depression for so long that it is my personality. I feel like if I suddenly became happy, I wouldn't know who I am anymore.

I feel the same, I've truly forgotten how to be a happy person

Prakas · 11-06-2009, 10:35 PM

I don't remember what its like to be happy

11-06-2009, 02:40 PM	#1 (permalink)
clouddead Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 12	Depression has changed my personality I just noticed something. Suffering from depression for about 4 years now has really started to affect my personality as of late. I used to be the type of person who wanted to be friends or at least be in good terms with everybody. Now I don't care for that and I actually realize all these people I once wanted to be friends with, suck. I consider them ignorant. I consider them anything that makes me feel superior to them. I used to try to avoid hurting people's feelings and I never tried to make friends & acquaintances feel bad about themselves. Now I sometimes see myself trying to make them feel bad and don't care if I end up hurting them. It actually makes me feel better if I do. Don't get me wrong though, there's still a few people I truly care about and I do show my careness to them and don't act like what I just described. It's just with the general masses is that I act like this. Anyone know why? Anybody else experienced something similar to this?

11-06-2009, 02:45 PM	#2 (permalink)
shadowmask Status: Seeing stars Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: TN Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 1,081	I've had depression for so long that it is my personality. I feel like if I suddenly became happy, I wouldn't know who I am anymore. __________________ Basically, I'm complicated I have a hard time taking the easy way I wouldn't call it schizophrenia But I'll be at least two people today

11-06-2009, 03:20 PM	#3 (permalink)
illlaymedown Status: Miseria Cantare Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Mississippi Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 362	That's what depression does, that's why it's such a big problem to the people experiencing it and the people they come in contact with You know the old saying "Misery loves company"...kinda fits with depression...you lose interest and gradually lose caring as well...sometimes I've felt so numb inside I couldn't cry over things that should've made me. One time my cousin got in a car accident and I was so depressed I could barely show how concerned I was and she almost died....made me feel so guilty for so long, but I know that wasn't really me. In my case, I've felt so bad inside for so long, it's just gotten numb. That's what happens when you consistently feel pain over a long period of time. I try to force myself to do things that I don't want to because of depression though like simply taking a shower. It helps a little. __________________ "I feel like a helpless puppet being manipulated in some major scheme."~ Squall Leonhart My avatar is my art...www.myspace.com/illlaymedown

11-06-2009, 10:35 PM	#5 (permalink)
Prakas Status: Failure - Life Sucks Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Delaware Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 424	I don't remember what its like to be happy __________________ If life is so hard, then death must be easy. Creed-Six Feet From the Edge I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking... Maybe six feet ain't so far down...