I'm a 19 year old male and I've been suffering from anxiety in social situations for 3 years now and it's getting worse (it's like a spiral). It stems from physical appearance (I used to have mild acne and scrubbed my face raw and made it so worse) and now I have my worst anxiety when I think I am going to be anxious and blush/sweat profusely because of it. It happens probably once every two days but, once it happens in a day, it will happen for the rest of the day and I can't stop it. My heart beats really fast (I have had blood pressure in the 150/90 fairly consistently for the past few years because I get so nervous in the situations where they take it) and my face gets so red and sweaty and blotchy - it's disgusting.
I thought I was having a panic attack on the bus the other day because I was surrounded by my friends and strangers and the lights were bright on the bus and I felt like I was blushing. I can barely enter my college classroom because I get so nervous that people are looking at me. I hate parties and bars because I get so red and so I drink heavily so that I don't care (but this makes it so much worse).
I'm not anxious with school, financial situations, etc. I have operated my own business for 6 years and I am a Dean's List student. Some days I am perfectly fine (usually if I'm just with my best friend doing something normal) but other days it's absolute hell and I can barely sleep and my mind gets racing about what people think of me, how I can leave, etc.
I get nervous around the same people repeatedly, as well. For example, I volunteer with the Psychology Students Association at my school and I go there once a week and get so flustered and embarrassed everytime even though they are all nice and I like them. I stay red and nervous for the full 1.5 hours before I leave and my heart will race all day. Even my friends at school make me nervous, especially if they do something that catches me off guard.
Now, after all that, here's my question. I have finally booked an appointment with my doctor and I am scared he just gonna judge me as a either an attention-hog or a weak guy and not help me with medication (beta blockers, hopefully, since this stems from physical symptoms). Does anyone have any insight on this for me? Any first doctor visit stories? This will be my first visit to this doctor so I hope he doesn't just think I want drugs.