No problem at all man
Which SSRI's did you take before? When I took things like Paxil it was very sedating and at the time I didn't know anything about meds I just knew what chemicals they worked on. But when I took it I actually thought it was making me more depressed. But it wasn't it was just chilling me out BIG TIME. It was when I started drinking moca grandes lots of caffeine everyday and upping the dose of the med that it REALLY started to kick in. So then I had the positive SSRI affects with a nice very motivating surge going through my body to let me take charge and make things happen. That's not a good way to go though because obviously the caffeine built a lot of tolerance and I was up to probably over 1000mg a day after a few months and had to stop and I crashed big time.
Zoloft yes completely man, that drug turned me into a super effin crazy cool outgoing motivated dude and there were no qualms whatsoever about talking to people, hitting on girls, participating in class, nothing! It even got my *** to join basketball in school and I don't think I ever would have done that otherwise. Actually now that I think about it, it really was a bit of a wonder drug for me.
It took the part of me "everything about me that I wanted to be", and unleashed the beast and I became that person. And in a pretty short time, a couple of months once my dose was up. Met the best friends of my entire life, met tons of girls, had so much fun, it was actually now that you got me thinking about it, probably the best time of my life LOL.
Yeah definitely for me it was unlike other SSRI's. I didn't have the lazyness or any of that. I did better in school, I was motivated, my head was clear. I was very confident and got good jobs, etc. I stopped taking it cold after a few years because I eventually upped my dose too high and it made me a bit hypomanic and I started being irresponsible and missing doctor appointments and such because I thought I was the king. I never went back on it long term and went without meds for a couple years and I was completely awesome without them and all the skills I learned while on it I bought with me while I was off it.
When I started back up again after a bunch of traumatic experiences that came my way, I just naturally wanted to try something new and different.
The one thing that gets me though like you say is the sexual side effect. I guess there are ways around it and I didn’t know them then, but even with the blue pills, the feeling was still numb.
But as for stimulating and activating. Provigil is a very good idea. I haven’t used it but I imagine it might be a good augment with an SSRI. I added Wellbutrin to the sedating Paxil and the combo was WONDERFUL. I had the best of all worlds. Another thing I did which was just last year for a short time was small doses of Zoloft, Adderall, and Wellbutrin and that was AMAZING. Truly amazing. But again not a good idea long term obviously b/c of the amphetamine. But that cocktail hit the 3 main neurotransmitters and I was GOLD.
If you were to do an SSRI again I would just pretend that you are very very depressed and you have been for some time it just now starting to get worse. Like you are lacking major interest in anything, things you onced loved you don't care for anymore, etc. That way he gives you a higher dose. But mainly just say hey man this freakin low *** dose isn't working for me I need it higher. Tell him you were going to request Ritilan daily and your compromise is a high dose of SSRI. He would be relieved. lol.
I have tried the lower doses and they definitely don't do anything to break you out of your shell at all. The magic dose for me with zoloft while I was in school was 100mg. I bumped it to 150mg at the end of HS when I started working a full time sales job at the same time. And I was super pumped. 200mg is what pushed me too high. Lower doses definitely didn't do squat for any social anxiety though.
You can keep that in mind but since you've tried those and are curious about Wellbutrin you could probably give that a try first. It kicks it A LOT faster, you'll notice it working in the first week. It's a very wonderful drug as well, they are just different. So you can see how you like it. 150mg is a general starting dose. Actually 75mg for the first few days. The bump to 150 SR or XL twice a day for a total of 300mg made a tremendous change and a full effect.
If I were to compare them I would say a high dose SSRI is a powerful, refined, subtle, and smooth force like a turbo car that creeps up on you slowly and all of a sudden you notice one day hey wow I am totally completely changed. Wellbutrin is a powerful, blunt, and strong force. Like a muscle car. Naturally with more dopamine comes being much more talkative and a kind of confidence that is more an "outwardly bold". Not to mention being more organized and focused. When I stopped my SSRI though I found it to be too much of an imbalance. Without the serotonin to balance it I was "too serious" and lacked my fun loving personality. I became uptight and my love for music also stopped. With an SSRI you get a fun loving crazy goofy additude and you are more chill. So the two work nice together. Gotta find some kind of happy medium across the board.
Oh, and that part of being able to do anything at all in any event without thinking twice, that kind of confidence came from being on an SSRI. Wellbutrin actually made me think about things a little more, but to counter that it supplies you with more confidence to be able to act on it.