Hey guys, I don't post here as much anymore as my depression/anxiety is pretty much gone so I just stopped sitting on the forums as much which tends to happen lol. Anyway, i'll get to what happened now and hopefully this can inspire some people or give them hope.
I've been on Celexa (20mg) since February 2010 and have never been on any SSRIs for my SAD/GAD. I've had anxiety ever since I can remember since I was a little kid right up until the day before my medication began working. I am 22 now, I was jobless because I was too petrified to hold a job and even when I was employed I would almost throw up everyday before work, afraid to answer a telephone, rarely left my house just played online games in my basement to escape the anxiety, I dropped out of university because I couldn't handle it because of the anxiety etc...
Well after a potentially fatal car accident last year, I got a settlement for my injuries/accident and decided I would move across the country to where my girlfriend lived (Montreal) and start a new journey. But after living off the money I received from my settlement began to dwindle, I was left with no job, an empty bank account and rent to pay. I lived off bread and macaroni for months and at times couldn't afford eggs, I was borrowing money from my mom back home to make rent and I still couldn't go get a job because of anxiety which is when my girlfriend pushed me to get help. I finally went to the doctor and was prescribed 20 mg of Celexa after suffering my whole life, I was skeptical and terrified but went with it.
Now 8 months later, I have a full time job, I can support myself, my gf and my 2 dogs, I am happy and have the drive again to get on with my life and and am working towards my career. The main reason I am making this thread is because of what happened this weekend. My girlfriend was approached by scouts to be a hair model for a large company at a fashion convention that was happening, she agreed. She went for a consultation to meet the model team, discuss what they were going to do with her hair etc... so I went with her to make sure she was safe (meeting strangers at a hotel) and was asked by the same scouts if I (YES ME) wanted to model also. I agreed to do it and felt no anxiety, I was actually kind of excited! Yes, me, the same guy who dropped out of university because he couldn't stand infront of the class or ask to join a group to do a presentation.
Not knowing what I was doing, where I was going or how I was going to do it, I showed up on the first day (no anxiety), met the team, had my hair cut and dyed (without knowing what they were doing) and then the next day showed up again without anxiety and went to rehearsals for the show, it turned out I wasn't just taking photos for a magazine or website, but I was WALKING A CAT WALK infront of a large audience and photographers with a crazy hair cut. I was excited for it and actually had a great time, when the lights were dimmed and the music was playing and my turn to walk out onto the cat walk came I was not afraid, I was actually excited and went out there with ease and comfort and enjoyed it, I did 4 more shows that day and the same thing each time! Even though we were under rehearsed (only ran through it 3 times) and had never modeled before I still managed to enjoy myself and have minimal anxiety during the whole event (being anxiously excited is normal). My point is that I did something I never imagined I could EVER do without being drunk off my *** or near unconscious from benzo sedation, I am so proud of myself and can say that I am actually happy and I hope you guys can find success too.
This was a long post, but I wanted to share how far i've come as a person in my battle against GAD/SAD and want to give you guys a little hope. I hope you enjoyed the read.