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Old 04-27-2011, 09:32 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default My doctor will make me kill myself!

Hey,

I have OCD, GAD, and maybe AvPD and have tried half a dozen SSRI's over the past few years but none longer than 6 months because they make me a crazy zombie and the last two times I was on anything I nearly succeeded in killing myself. After that I became terrified of taking meds.

I am a functional person on the brink of losing it all (that's how I feel anyway), and the anxiety is so severe it affects EVERY decision I make. My thoughts are too obessive and my doctor said it's driving me crazy and she wants to put me on something, an SNRI called Effexor. I told her I can not take anything that will speed up my brain (it goes to fast already) or that will make me lose the last little bit of who I am (become a zombie).

Is there anything that works for OCD other than a stimulant? Wouldn't it be best to slow things down?

I am hoping to find something that can be taken in low low doses that is not like SSRI's. The thing is I'm not depressed, I just over think everything. To meet me you would want to be my friend because I act like I love life and everything in it. I just need to slow down my thoughts...

Help me please, I'm scared. SSRI's make me want to kill myself, and my doctor doesn't seem to care!
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Old 04-27-2011, 09:03 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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I don't think Effexor is a stimulant... Has your doctor mentioned an MAOI?
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Old 04-27-2011, 09:11 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Effexor is not a stimulant. It is an SNRI, a class of antidepressant. i never had OCD but I had no luck when I was on Effexor(only put me on edge and made me more agitated) nor any other antidepressant. I actually felt better after I discontinued all meds so maybe I'm not of any help.
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Old 04-27-2011, 09:16 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Effexor(only put me on edge and made me more agitated)
Those are listed side effects, right? I know with Effexor you have to build to your optimal dose. How long were you on it?
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Old 04-27-2011, 09:29 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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If a doctor makes you try more than 2-3 SSRI's with the same results I'd find another doctor. Clearly that one has a limited med list and knowledge of the type of meds you need if all they can rely on is SSRI's. Not that effexor might be a bad idea. First hand accounts on the internet say it works for ocd about half the time so it's not useless. I'd definitely try it before MAOIs. There's lots of stuff I'd try before MAOIs. It just should have been tried after the first couple SSRI's failed not after every SSRI on the market fails. Maybe if one SSRI sort of worked but had a side effect problem or wasn't quite enough then I could see trying several but if they have definite bad effects repeating the same experiment over and over again hoping for different results is called stupidity.

You should also be able to ask your doctor what they will try next if that med doesn't work and they should be able to tell you the next several medications in the order they'd like to try them or the order they would try them based on what reaction you had to the med they'd like you to try now. Preferably they should also be able to tell you why. If their only explanation of why is "the fda says...." or "the manufacturer says..." then you may need a more knowledgeable doctor who can speak from experience as to what has worked on what type of people. When I told my psychiatrist I want to try anticonvulsants used to treat PTSD for my insomnia I got told that it would not be a bad idea but in his experience such medications were not strong enough to have an impact on my type of insomnia and then he suggested a different antipsychotic from what I'd taken. When I expressed my dislike of being on antipsychotics again he explained why he chose that antipsychotic, the effect it had on most of his patients who had taken it, and how it was different from what I'd taken before. Then he was more than willing to try my suggestion before his if I still did not want to take an antipsychotic since he saw no harm in trying anticonvulsants. That's a conversation from a professional you can trust with your meds. Not the doctor following the order the FDA approves the meds in for every patient despite each person being an individual, prescribing whatever the last manufacturer to talk to them was, or the worst are the ones that have to go through every single med in a given class before they will consider anything else because they only really know about one class of meds. I've spent years doctor shopping to keep ones I can rely on.
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Old 04-27-2011, 09:43 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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If you don't like your current doctor, talk to another doctor for a second opinion. Anti-anxiety medication might be helpful but it's addictive and you don't want to be on it for too long. The best option for you though seems like it would be to see a Cognitive Therapist. What compulsions do you have?
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Old 04-27-2011, 11:39 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Effexor is one of the more activating SNRI's. I do know that SSRI's have been used for obessessive compulsive disorder for a long time. If your doctor is lame, fire her and get another.
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Old 04-28-2011, 08:16 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Hey, thanks guys. I've had two different docs put me on SSRI's (I had moved) and I do not see the doctor that misdiagnosed me as depressed, which is clearly the very least of my issues.


A lot of it could be the "getting here" of it. I've learned a tremendous amount about myself that I can now share with docs that I didn't realize before. Unfortunately I live in a place that has a hard time keeping doctors (northern canada) and many of them leave after 6-12 months. This has happened with a few therapists and a psychiatrist I connected with well. Anyway, the doctor I have now is decent and makes me come to see her every few weeks while I wait (it's been almost a year) to see a new psychiatrist.

Akane, your advice is great, and I will remember to ask about her plans/reasoning.

I just assumed that Effexor was a stimulant, so thanks for letting me know that it's not. No doctor has ever mentioned an MOAI before. I'm sure there is a reason for that? Another thing that worries me is my low tolerence to medication of any kind. I have to start with a quarter of the lowest dose available, and am thankful that my doctor agrees with that.

As for compulsions, I am currently trying to figure that out! It is clear that I am obsessive (diagnosed by the shrink who left town) but I'm not sure how/if they manifest themselves. I had never considered that I may have OCD before, and I rationalize everything to myself and my partner so...It is also possible that compulsions are absent. The obsessions are just how overwhelming details are to me I guess, if I had to sum it up.

And lastly, I recently completed 6 months of intese DBT. It was good, but it was in a group setting and I am absolutely terrified of groups...so a lot of it went out the window because I had a hard time focusing on anything other than the setting.

If I had it my way I would never be on meds, but I'm really desperate to have friends, and be able to walk down the street without having a heart attack, and I'm so, so, so sick of blushing/sweating in front of people. It's really painful and humiliating. Still, I think I'll hold off on starting anything for a while (avoidant, much?
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Old 04-28-2011, 08:24 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
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The reason doctors haven't mentioned MAOI's to you is because they are deadly if you mix it with other drugs or eat the wrong foods. There is a strict diet that comes along with those drugs. They are "last resort" drugs for extreme cases.

I'd say give Effexor a shot. It's different from other anti-depressant & is a bit more stronger. It helped my relentless anxiety & depression. Before MAOIs, I'd also suggest trying a mood stabilizer for the anxiety, like Lamictal.

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Old 04-28-2011, 09:13 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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How about Trazodone? You take it at night and it helps with sleep and anxiety, it might stop your restless mind/OCD thoughts, without activating or zombifying you as much as the SSRI's did.
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Old 04-28-2011, 09:31 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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The only medication that comes to mind is Seraquel but that does have the effect of turning some people into zombies, you would just have to try it and see.
However I think the best piece of advice for you is to find a better doctor, try and find a doctor that specialises in mental health, you should not be self diagnosing or asking people who are not doctors for advise about meds.
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Old 04-28-2011, 10:08 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by angus View Post
The only medication that comes to mind is Seraquel but that does have the effect of turning some people into zombies, you would just have to try it and see.
However I think the best piece of advice for you is to find a better doctor, try and find a doctor that specialises in mental health, you should not be self diagnosing or asking people who are not doctors for advise about meds.
Yeah when I tried seroquel for insomnia it did seem to help with my OCD/racing thoughts a bit I guess. On the down side it gave me pretty bad restless legs so I stopped it.
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Old 04-29-2011, 06:04 AM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by angus View Post
asking people who are not doctors for advise about meds.
I think its good to give them some ideas about possible medications to bring up with her doctor & see what they say about them.
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Old 04-29-2011, 08:23 AM   #14 (permalink)
 
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However I think the best piece of advice for you is to find a better doctor, try and find a doctor that specialises in mental health, you should not be self diagnosing or asking people who are not doctors for advise about meds.
Thank you for your concern! I understand where it could be a bad idea, but I value everyone's input equally. I am open to hearing about different meds. The doctors seem to stick us all in one box now, you know? It's like: "I have anxiety"
"ok, have an SSRI"
"they make me suicidal"
"this one will work"

I am on a waitlist to see a psychiatrist, and have been referred to a psychologist for a proper [expensive] assessment. But those won't happen for months. In the meantime, I've decided to visit my therapist more often, and fight every obsessive thought that comes into my head (until I burn out!) So I guess I'll just to do my best to stay away from meds for now.

It breaks my heart to hear the term "zombie" used by so many people in reference to a medication's side affect. I've been conned by doctors into thinking that that is my new reality before...makes me sad. We deserve better than this.
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Old 05-29-2011, 10:44 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Xanax helps alot. And Yes SSRI's do turn you into a zombie. SSRI's can be scary at 1st. Hence why they have warnings of making you suicidal especially at the beginning. Because they turn you into a zombie and some people cant handle that zombification. Try Xanax. Im hoping and praying i get adderall as iv heard its amazing for SA....
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Old 05-30-2011, 12:18 AM   #16 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Monroee View Post
The reason doctors haven't mentioned MAOI's to you is because they are deadly if you mix it with other drugs or eat the wrong foods. There is a strict diet that comes along with those drugs. They are "last resort" drugs for extreme cases.

I'd say give Effexor a shot. It's different from other anti-depressant & is a bit more stronger. It helped my relentless anxiety & depression. Before MAOIs, I'd also suggest trying a mood stabilizer for the anxiety, like Lamictal.

Yeah what she said

IF you are able to get a mood stabilizer prescribed that is as doctors sometimes can be reluctant to do so especially when they are in love with drugs like Seroquel and mirtazapine (remeron) but say no to them if or when your doc suggests it because they are quickly becoming the new SSRI type of med and when i say SSRI I mean in popularity among doctors and pdocs.

Effexor is good for intolerable anxiety and dark depression, not so good for manic depression but it wont make you crazy like paxil, zoloft or prozac

there are other options before MAOI meds too and like monroee said, you would need to stop your other medications before taking them and be made aware of food restrictions.

All Antidepressants will take a few weeks to kick in as well, none work immediately and often if they do its a psychological effect or the first two day high a lot of people experience on Effexor and paxil.

there is bupropion as well, it is rather stimulating but no zombie making side effects or weight gain on them
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Old 05-30-2011, 04:52 PM   #17 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by angus View Post
The only medication that comes to mind is Seraquel but that does have the effect of turning some people into zombies, you would just have to try it and see.
However I think the best piece of advice for you is to find a better doctor, try and find a doctor that specialises in mental health, you should not be self diagnosing or asking people who are not doctors for advise about meds.
Doctors ARE NOT ALL KNOWING GODS. Sorry had to get the truth out.
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Old 05-30-2011, 10:28 PM   #18 (permalink)
 
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I agree with house, also doctors will always prescribe seroquel its their drug of choice, despite the negative side effects and these side effects are not made up
do doctors take the pills themselves? no they don't, people like us do and we then share our experiences to help others
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Old 05-30-2011, 10:38 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
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Also in my experience of seeing over 40 different doctors in the past 6 years (no I do not doctor shop), and taking over 90 different pharmaceuticals, I have noticed a trend; the doctors DO NOT CARE about any side effects you are experiencing unless they are life threatening or are working against the symptom/illness they are trying to treat.

As Arisa said, the doctor's don't have to take the pills nor suffer the side effects, so why should you expect them to be empathetic to something they have not experienced? Most of them have either very little time/patience/can't be bothered to learn about new medications on their own, so their only education of new medication comes from whatever the pharmaceutical companies drug reps are pushing on them. This is why there is so much crap anti psychotics being prescribed for ludicrous reasons like anxiety or unipolar depression.

You might ask, why would I have let them push over 90 different pharmaceuticals on me? Answer is: I didn't. I asked to be on every medication that I am on. I do my own research which they fail to do. I am NOT brainwashed by pharmaceutical reps(cause I never see them for them to even try). And in the end, it is STILL the doctor who has to say that the particular medication I am asking for is deemed SAFE for my consumption and it is STILL the doctor who has to write the script, NOT ME. It is impossible for someone on this forum(other than through illegal means) to get a medication that has been suggested here, except by an MD (doctor). Suggesting medication hurts no one IMO. Those who acquire medication through illegal means most likely would have been doing so before they got the suggestion anyways.
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Old 06-04-2011, 12:19 AM   #20 (permalink)
 
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I was on the same boat as you. I became so numb and zombie like; I told the psychiatrist that these meds were getting me more depressed and suicidal and did they care? NOPE. You really have to take matters into your own hands.
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