Hey, thanks guys. I've had two different docs put me on SSRI's (I had moved) and I do not see the doctor that misdiagnosed me as depressed, which is clearly
the very least of my issues.
A lot of it could be the "getting here" of it. I've learned a tremendous amount about myself that I can now share with docs that I didn't realize before. Unfortunately I live in a place that has a hard time keeping doctors (northern canada) and many of them leave after 6-12 months. This has happened with a few therapists and a psychiatrist I connected with well. Anyway, the doctor I have now is decent and makes me come to see her every few weeks while I wait (it's been almost a year) to see a new psychiatrist.
Akane, your advice is great, and I will remember to ask about her plans/reasoning.
I just assumed that Effexor was a stimulant, so thanks for letting me know that it's not. No doctor has ever mentioned an MOAI before. I'm sure there is a reason for that? Another thing that worries me is my low tolerence to medication of any kind. I have to start with a quarter of the lowest dose available, and am thankful that my doctor agrees with that.
As for compulsions, I am currently trying to figure that out! It is clear that I am obsessive (diagnosed by the shrink who left town) but I'm not sure how/if they manifest themselves. I had never considered that I may have OCD before, and I rationalize everything to myself and my partner so...It is also possible that compulsions are absent. The obsessions are just how overwhelming details are to me I guess, if I had to sum it up.
And lastly, I recently completed 6 months of intese DBT. It was good, but it was in a group setting and I am absolutely terrified of groups...so a lot of it went out the window because I had a hard time focusing on anything other than the setting.
If I had it my way I would never be on meds, but I'm really desperate to have friends, and be able to walk down the street without having a heart attack, and I'm so, so, so sick of blushing/sweating in front of people. It's really painful and humiliating. Still, I think I'll hold off on starting anything for a while (avoidant, much?