Social Anxiety Support

kev · 01-04-2009, 09:02 PM

Has your imagination declined since you've started meds for whatever condition: depression, anxiety, bipolar, schizophrenia, anything. For me, I think it has.

I think the reason I needed medication in the first place was because I had an over-active imagination (which caused delusions and hallucinations and depression and euphoria) but now I have an under-inctiave imagination (basically feel numb) and it is just as bad in different ways. What is the average imagination like? Can you imagine having sex with someone for instance? For me, I can't unless I'm on drugs of some kind (I'm not talking about antidepressants here, I'm talking about the so-called "bad" ones). I can't put myself into a fantasy situation, I can't daydream, and I believe it is in part due to the meds I'm on, or if not the meds, then at least some neurological deficiency. When I remember past events, I remember try to recreate a snapshot of the situation and then I will think of a one-line sentence to describe what happened in the photograph. Reminiscing about the past doesn't make me happy or depressed. I don't really feel much at all.

Am I thinking too much or is this a legitimate side effect of antidepressants that is hampering the quality of my life?

UltraShy · 01-04-2009, 10:32 PM

I've heard of others who described antidepressants as making them feel numb.

I personally have not had that experience, since none of the numerous ADs I've tried had any effect at all on my mind -- they all failed to do anything other than produce side effects.

KurtG85 · 01-04-2009, 10:57 PM

Yes, I definitely know the feeling, or lack of feeling, you are referring to and I also need to be on meds for a similar type of 'over-active' imagination. There have been very few periods of time where I have been on antidepressants alone however; usually I am on adderall at the same time. What you describe are all effects I get from adderall as well though. In fact, during the few times I was just on an antidepressant and not adderall I felt these "negative" effects a hell of a lot less compared to when I am on adderall (either simultaneously with an AD or by itself). Adderall helps so much with my social anxiety however that I find myself willing to put up with these draw backs. Some of my personal examples: music isn't anywhere near as stimulating even though I still seem to be far more "moved" by music than others even while on adderall, a ton of my natural musical talent/rhythm seems to leave me, a ton of my natural athletic ability seems to leave me, my ability and desire to sexually fantasize as well as a ton of the pleasure of sexual stimulation is lost. Despite all of this I can tell you that losing all of these things is an absolute joke compared to the intense suicidal misery and 24/7 massive panic attack I am in while off of medicine, not to mention the complete inability to focus on any activity.

kev · 01-04-2009, 11:19 PM

Thanks kurt. It makes me feel better than I'm not alone on this. I will read this reread this tomorrow and reflect on it.

millenniumman75 · 01-05-2009, 07:47 AM

I wouldn't say my imagination is worse, just more controlled. I am able to think things through more

.

kev · 01-05-2009, 10:30 AM

Okay, I've thought about this some more. I finally realize after all these years that the antidepressants do in fact keep severe depression at bay for me. But I also think I'm overmedicated. I'm on lexapro, wellbutrin, and provigil. It's really insane. And on top of it I take all these crazy supplements that don't even help. I think my real problem is I'm trying to treat the effects of overmedication (numbness) with more medication and drugs which is ridiculous if you think about. Of course I've never been able to think about because I've been so drugged until now.

I realize I can't go off everything all at once but I'm going to make an appointment with my psychiatrist and let him know what I plan to do.

I feel very similar to you, kurt. The only real difference in opinion I have is... you say you never know what a medication will do until you try it... while I always used to believe that, I've now come to realize that that's not actually true for me. These meds are so powerful that they can actually make you lose insight into personality changes that they have caused in you. It's the same thing as when someone starts taking heroin and everyone else notices the changes except the person who's doing it. I never actually thought SSRI's were powerful enough to do that but they are. SSRI's are not going to kill you but they can change you and make you forget who you used to be.

KurtG85 · 01-05-2009, 01:13 PM

That all depends on your personality and unique brain. I am a ridiculously introspective person and am extremely and keenly aware of any changes in both my external behavioral patterns as well as my internal thoughts/dialogue, especially after taking any form of mind altering chemical. However, the chances of what you describe are of course a hell of a lot higher when you pile on a bunch of different mind altering medications at once. The hight number of complex and significant changes that take place can honestly make it near impossible to sort out in your mind the mental changes you are experiencing, if you are even able to recognize any changes at all. Its like the difference between drinking one beer and attempting to observe the effects on your psyche and bonging 5 beers and trying to do the same. Again, every individual will have a varying ability to focus through mind altering effects of meds in order to observe the changes taking place in them. I guarantee you it will at least be more likely you will be able to recognize changes in your thoughts and behavior if you try one med at a time.

kev · 01-05-2009, 04:57 PM

Yeah, you're probably right. I'm an introspective person but the problem is that lately I just can't think. So I want to think about things but I can't. It's maddening. I've been thinking better lately for who knows what reason, maybe the marijuana (the one hit two nights ago), maybe because I haven't taken wellbutrin in a couple days, or maybe one of the various supplements I stopped or maybe in my head, who knows. I want to be able to sit down, relax, and watch tv, is that too much to ask? I think wellbutrin is the culprit.

01-04-2009, 09:02 PM	#1 (permalink)
kev Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Age: 25 Posts: 1,217	how good is your imagination? (on meds/off meds) Has your imagination declined since you've started meds for whatever condition: depression, anxiety, bipolar, schizophrenia, anything. For me, I think it has. I think the reason I needed medication in the first place was because I had an over-active imagination (which caused delusions and hallucinations and depression and euphoria) but now I have an under-inctiave imagination (basically feel numb) and it is just as bad in different ways. What is the average imagination like? Can you imagine having sex with someone for instance? For me, I can't unless I'm on drugs of some kind (I'm not talking about antidepressants here, I'm talking about the so-called "bad" ones). I can't put myself into a fantasy situation, I can't daydream, and I believe it is in part due to the meds I'm on, or if not the meds, then at least some neurological deficiency. When I remember past events, I remember try to recreate a snapshot of the situation and then I will think of a one-line sentence to describe what happened in the photograph. Reminiscing about the past doesn't make me happy or depressed. I don't really feel much at all. Am I thinking too much or is this a legitimate side effect of antidepressants that is hampering the quality of my life?

01-04-2009, 10:32 PM	#2 (permalink)
UltraShy Status: Accident of Birth Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Milwaukee, WI (Atheist, Libertarian, Into Spanking) Age: 36 Posts: 22,696	I've heard of others who described antidepressants as making them feel numb. I personally have not had that experience, since none of the numerous ADs I've tried had any effect at all on my mind -- they all failed to do anything other than produce side effects. __________________ Nothing is ever the way it should be What we deserve we just don't get you see http://www.insureyourgunrights.com/

01-04-2009, 10:57 PM	#3 (permalink)
KurtG85 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Missouri Age: 24 Posts: 406	Yes, I definitely know the feeling, or lack of feeling, you are referring to and I also need to be on meds for a similar type of 'over-active' imagination. There have been very few periods of time where I have been on antidepressants alone however; usually I am on adderall at the same time. What you describe are all effects I get from adderall as well though. In fact, during the few times I was just on an antidepressant and not adderall I felt these "negative" effects a hell of a lot less compared to when I am on adderall (either simultaneously with an AD or by itself). Adderall helps so much with my social anxiety however that I find myself willing to put up with these draw backs. Some of my personal examples: music isn't anywhere near as stimulating even though I still seem to be far more "moved" by music than others even while on adderall, a ton of my natural musical talent/rhythm seems to leave me, a ton of my natural athletic ability seems to leave me, my ability and desire to sexually fantasize as well as a ton of the pleasure of sexual stimulation is lost. Despite all of this I can tell you that losing all of these things is an absolute joke compared to the intense suicidal misery and 24/7 massive panic attack I am in while off of medicine, not to mention the complete inability to focus on any activity. __________________ Rule #1 of psych meds: http://www.depressionforums.org/foru...hp?act=SR&f=55 Meds I have experience with: Celexa, Lexapro, Paxil, Prozac, Luvox, Zoloft, Desipramine, Nortriptyline, Imipramine, Remeron, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta, Pristiq, Effexor, Trazodone, Risperdal, Geodon, Abilify, Buspar, Dexedrine, Focalin, Adderall, Concerta, Ativan, Neurontin, Guanfacine, Lamictal, Provigil, Strattera, Most all the herbal stuff. Current Rx: 5mg IR Barr Adderall every 5 hours, 30mg Lexapro daily

01-05-2009, 07:47 AM	#5 (permalink)
millenniumman75 Status: Super Moderator Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Dayton-Cincinnati, OH Age: 34 Posts: 34,519	I wouldn't say my imagination is worse, just more controlled. I am able to think things through more . __________________ millenniumman75 You are a success story waiting to happen! Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover.... Live and HELP live is better!

01-05-2009, 01:13 PM	#7 (permalink)
KurtG85 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Missouri Age: 24 Posts: 406	That all depends on your personality and unique brain. I am a ridiculously introspective person and am extremely and keenly aware of any changes in both my external behavioral patterns as well as my internal thoughts/dialogue, especially after taking any form of mind altering chemical. However, the chances of what you describe are of course a hell of a lot higher when you pile on a bunch of different mind altering medications at once. The hight number of complex and significant changes that take place can honestly make it near impossible to sort out in your mind the mental changes you are experiencing, if you are even able to recognize any changes at all. Its like the difference between drinking one beer and attempting to observe the effects on your psyche and bonging 5 beers and trying to do the same. Again, every individual will have a varying ability to focus through mind altering effects of meds in order to observe the changes taking place in them. I guarantee you it will at least be more likely you will be able to recognize changes in your thoughts and behavior if you try one med at a time. __________________ Rule #1 of psych meds: http://www.depressionforums.org/foru...hp?act=SR&f=55 Meds I have experience with: Celexa, Lexapro, Paxil, Prozac, Luvox, Zoloft, Desipramine, Nortriptyline, Imipramine, Remeron, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta, Pristiq, Effexor, Trazodone, Risperdal, Geodon, Abilify, Buspar, Dexedrine, Focalin, Adderall, Concerta, Ativan, Neurontin, Guanfacine, Lamictal, Provigil, Strattera, Most all the herbal stuff. Current Rx: 5mg IR Barr Adderall every 5 hours, 30mg Lexapro daily

01-04-2009, 11:19 PM	#4 (permalink)
kev Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Age: 25 Posts: 1,217	Thanks kurt. It makes me feel better than I'm not alone on this. I will read this reread this tomorrow and reflect on it.

01-05-2009, 10:30 AM	#6 (permalink)
kev Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Age: 25 Posts: 1,217	Okay, I've thought about this some more. I finally realize after all these years that the antidepressants do in fact keep severe depression at bay for me. But I also think I'm overmedicated. I'm on lexapro, wellbutrin, and provigil. It's really insane. And on top of it I take all these crazy supplements that don't even help. I think my real problem is I'm trying to treat the effects of overmedication (numbness) with more medication and drugs which is ridiculous if you think about. Of course I've never been able to think about because I've been so drugged until now. I realize I can't go off everything all at once but I'm going to make an appointment with my psychiatrist and let him know what I plan to do. I feel very similar to you, kurt. The only real difference in opinion I have is... you say you never know what a medication will do until you try it... while I always used to believe that, I've now come to realize that that's not actually true for me. These meds are so powerful that they can actually make you lose insight into personality changes that they have caused in you. It's the same thing as when someone starts taking heroin and everyone else notices the changes except the person who's doing it. I never actually thought SSRI's were powerful enough to do that but they are. SSRI's are not going to kill you but they can change you and make you forget who you used to be.

01-05-2009, 04:57 PM	#8 (permalink)
kev Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Age: 25 Posts: 1,217	Yeah, you're probably right. I'm an introspective person but the problem is that lately I just can't think. So I want to think about things but I can't. It's maddening. I've been thinking better lately for who knows what reason, maybe the marijuana (the one hit two nights ago), maybe because I haven't taken wellbutrin in a couple days, or maybe one of the various supplements I stopped or maybe in my head, who knows. I want to be able to sit down, relax, and watch tv, is that too much to ask? I think wellbutrin is the culprit.