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Old 01-01-2014, 02:58 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default How to deal with my difficult Coworkers?

I feel that I am constantly under the brunt of their attacks, they are constantly undermining me. Its primarily two women, and one manager, who is also a lady. I am a guy, so I feel that I should be a man and handle it appropriately, but I am also a very small person, so maybe its my small size that makes me seem like an easy target, or my demeanor, not really sure. They will use negative humor, and constantly say things that some might find humorous, but is always used in a negative and unkind way. I have to work with them on a daily basis, but don't know how to handle it. They call me "too sensitive" or that I should "just get some balls" and handle their attacks without taking it too seriously. I don't really know, I feel rather frustrated, and I feel that I should be able to take it in stride, but they are constantly acting this way towards me. I don't know what to do. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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Old 01-01-2014, 03:11 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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What do they say
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Old 01-01-2014, 03:13 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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I know how it is. I have a female manager who insults me and calls me gay all the time, because she is insecure about being fat. I got an attitude with her once and she reported me and I got written up.

Just start looking for another job.
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Old 01-01-2014, 03:16 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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My only advice would be to get another job, it seems to me they are having to much fun at your expense to stop their games.
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Old 01-01-2014, 03:28 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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What do they say
They will say things like "why are you so small... Your so slow... managers say your slow... Don't try and fight with me... etc..." countless little things that aren't necessarily super serious, but still are annoying to hear. They are all sassy fat women, that have that negative sort of humor. I work in a kitchen at a hospital, and its a really good job as far as minimum wage jobs are concerned. I dunno what to do, whether I should just try and suck it up and stop talking or responding to the things they are saying, and maybe that will shut them up, or what.
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Old 01-01-2014, 03:29 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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They will say things like "why are you so small... Your so slow... managers say your slow... Don't try and fight with me... etc..." countless little things that aren't necessarily super serious, but still are annoying to hear. They are all sassy fat women, that have that negative sort of humor. I work in a kitchen at a hospital, and its a really good job as far as minimum wage jobs are concerned. I dunno what to do, whether I should just try and suck it up and stop talking or responding to the things they are saying, and maybe that will shut them up, or what.
Tell them off

Say to them fat people disgust me
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Old 01-01-2014, 03:33 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Tell them off

Say to them fat people disgust me
gotta be honest. That doesn't sound like advice Im gonna take
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Old 01-01-2014, 04:27 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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I understand your pain. I work in an office with mostly women, and I am constantly talked about and demeaned. It's to the point where I become physically ill whenever I see that I'm scheduled to come in. They say horrific things like "he's so slow" or "he's retarded" that crush my soul. I just stay quiet and go on about my work while inside tearing myself apart. I am looking for a new job and trying to build my self esteem back up on off days by doing things that make me happy/that I excel at.

I suppose the best way to deal with difficult coworkers is continue working and acting as though what they say does not affect you, so that it loses power.
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Old 01-01-2014, 04:39 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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I understand your pain. I work in an office with mostly women, and I am constantly talked about and demeaned. It's to the point where I become physically ill whenever I see that I'm scheduled to come in. They say horrific things like "he's so slow" or "he's retarded" that crush my soul. I just stay quiet and go on about my work while inside tearing myself apart. I am looking for a new job and trying to build my self esteem back up on off days by doing things that make me happy/that I excel at.

I suppose the best way to deal with difficult coworkers is continue working and acting as though what they say does not affect you, so that it loses power.
Thats tough, Im sorry to hear that. Do you feel sick every single day? Do you have to work with these women on a daily basis, and are they always as unbearable as the last time you worked with them?
The reason I ask is because only a few of the women frustrate me, but I only work with them part of the time, on certain days, perhaps 2 days out of a work week. The other days I am working with tolerable people. But I always look to see if I am working with those people, and it hurts me to see that I will be working with them when I am.
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Old 01-01-2014, 05:14 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Thats tough, Im sorry to hear that. Do you feel sick every single day? Do you have to work with these women on a daily basis, and are they always as unbearable as the last time you worked with them?
The reason I ask is because only a few of the women frustrate me, but I only work with them part of the time, on certain days, perhaps 2 days out of a work week. The other days I am working with tolerable people. But I always look to see if I am working with those people, and it hurts me to see that I will be working with them when I am.
I'm part time, but the hours are flex, and it's the same group every time. I do have some tolerable, even likeable people that I work with, but the ones who aren't ruin the experience. I think you should be firm in your dealing with the women at your job, but not in a confrontational way. Maybe when they say something about you, make a remark that is as piercing about them and walk away. Don't show any anger or hurt, but inject an "easy venom" that cuts them to the quick. That might make them get the message.
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Old 01-02-2014, 02:47 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Obviously, I would have been fired from your job a long time ago, because I would have told them all to go f*** themselves! I wouldn't let anyone talk to me like that.
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Old 01-05-2014, 05:48 AM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Sometimes I have a hard time telling if people are just kidding around or if they are serious. Your co workers might be just kidding around, in a rough way. But even if they are seriously putting you down, then try something different. Like sarcastically putting yourself down in front of them. Do something to change your state of mind.

I have seen that if I am able to do something to change my state, or my perception, then it really can change how they interact with me. Also, you might pay attention to how your co workers treat each other. This is something I should have done years ago, and I am finally doing it now. I notice that they sometimes appear to be putting each other down and sometimes being kind of rude about it, but they somehow go on. Maybe that is how some people act.
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Old 01-07-2014, 01:30 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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I feel that I am constantly under the brunt of their attacks, they are constantly undermining me. Its primarily two women, and one manager, who is also a lady. I am a guy, so I feel that I should be a man and handle it appropriately, but I am also a very small person, so maybe its my small size that makes me seem like an easy target, or my demeanor, not really sure. They will use negative humor, and constantly say things that some might find humorous, but is always used in a negative and unkind way. I have to work with them on a daily basis, but don't know how to handle it. They call me "too sensitive" or that I should "just get some balls" and handle their attacks without taking it too seriously. I don't really know, I feel rather frustrated, and I feel that I should be able to take it in stride, but they are constantly acting this way towards me. I don't know what to do. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
It sounds super simple, but if I were you, I'd simply report them. Why not? Anytime a male employee so much as say "Hey, you look nice today!" to a female employee he can lose his job for sexual harassment. Maybe it's time to put the superiors on notice of this behavior.

Different types of bullying exists in the working world. And I'm certain if those people had an employee making mention of their weight or something like that, someone would be notified and they'd have the US Marines there ready to fire someone.

People are a-holes. That's pretty much the extent of it. No one ever reacts when they're told that their behavior is unacceptable. That's because some people really ARE raised like animals. No one ever says "Gee, what I'm saying is really bothering Josh, I better stop". They only react when their livelihood is in jeopardy. The thing is that most people don't want to cause that kind of harm to others. But its you or them. They're causing harm to you so you have a decision to make. If it's not something you're willing to do, as much as they deserve it, you may want to consider switching jobs as soon as you can.
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Old 01-07-2014, 04:56 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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A lot of this, is people with low self esteem, or personality disorders who camouflage their insecurities by projecting them on other people, so that they feel better about themselves.

Speaking from past experience, I think the best way to deal with this is don't let it show that they are upsetting you. If they are pushing your buttons, and getting a reaction from you, they will continue. Your body language, and the energy you give off will let them know that they struck a cord.

The best way to cope with this is by working on yourself. Trust me, I know it's easier said than done, but if you go into work, with a positive attitude, taking pride in the work that you do, and ignoring the stupid remarks, they will stop. If you go into work dreading the day ahead, and feeling down, they will feed off this. It's like an invitation to inflict more emotional damage. The thing they hate most, is somebody that feels good about themselves, has a positive attitude, and takes their work seriously. Take pride in what you do, do it to the best of your abilities, and build on the small things to increase your self esteem. Laugh at their stupid remarks, and pity them for their insecurities.
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