Why Do I Let People Get to Me and How Do I Stop? - Social Anxiety Forum
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Old 08-26-2007, 09:05 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Why Do I Let People Get to Me and How Do I Stop?

I'm always worried about other people. Why is it so hard for me to tune them out and just be focused on what I have to do? If someone so much as looks at me in a disapproving way, instead of thinking there is something wrong with them, I immediately think there must be something wrong with me.

I have difficulty speaking to people I don't know. My mother always says to speak to people no matter what. My response is, what if they don't speak back, then I'll look like an idiot. She says no, you have done your part. It is the other person that looks like the idiot. But I just simply don't have this mindset and when I try, I always feel uncomfortable.
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Old 08-26-2007, 03:00 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: Why Do I Let People Get to Me and How Do I Stop?

Quote:
Originally Posted by bluewater01
Quote:
Originally Posted by tomcoldaba
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluewater01

One thing that has helped me though is to approach it in a way that shows them that it's very important that they learn the material. If you tell them that it's important, they will treat it as such. My advice though is to not show any weakness. All kids can sense it. Nip everything in the bud from the beginning and be really tough in the beginning. Then you can let up a little towards the middle and end of the year. I've found that the teachers with the best classroom management laid down the law from the moment the kids walked through the door.
Are you nervous on the first day of class? How are you able to hide your nervousness on the first day? According to your advice, a teacher must not show weakness. With SA, a person is likely to appear nervous. What are steps or process (knowingly or unknowingly) do you take to overcome your initial nervousness? I am assuming that once you have laid down the law, the rest of the year goes easily. Is this true?
I don't think it ever just goes easily because students will constantly test you. You just have to let them know that you are in charge or else they'll end up being in charge of you. Teaching 5th graders shouldn't be too hard though. I teach 8th graders who think they know everything and challenge everything. Regarding showing nervousness, I just know how to act the part. I know what body language to use. (Interesting that I don't carry this outside of the classroom). Also I keep in mind that the students are more than likely more nervous than I am.
Here is your quote " just know how to act the part. I know what body language to use. (Interesting that I don't carry this outside of the classroom)."

I am just curious why you are unable to act the part with adults? I am getting too deep and I am not a therapist. Why can't you act the part with adults if you visualize them as 8th graders?
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Old 08-26-2007, 06:36 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: Why Do I Let People Get to Me and How Do I Stop?

Wow you've been doing your research! Well, it's really weird. It's like I'm a scared child when I'm out and about. I see people as judging me all the time and feel awkward. I feel like people don't approve of me a lot. When I'm in the classroom, I'm dealing with kids. Kids don't judge you the way adults do. Plus adults can see through you when you are faking it.
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Old 08-26-2007, 07:20 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: Why Do I Let People Get to Me and How Do I Stop?

Quote:
Originally Posted by bluewater01
Wow you've been doing your research! Well, it's really weird. It's like I'm a scared child when I'm out and about. I see people as judging me all the time and feel awkward. I feel like people don't approve of me a lot. When I'm in the classroom, I'm dealing with kids. Kids don't judge you the way adults do. Plus adults can see through you when you are faking it.
It is interesting that you are overestimating adults and underestimating kids probably because you work with them which breeds professional contempt. Since you dont work with adults you are overestimating them. If adults can see through you when you are faking it, the used car salesman would not be a profession. Some of my non SA friends have been conned by con men.

What I am really trying to say that adults can see through you when you are faking it, is not really a true statement but it is what you believe.
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Old 08-26-2007, 08:04 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: Why Do I Let People Get to Me and How Do I Stop?

There are rude people everywhere. I'm sensitive so i try hard not to pay attention to people's comments about me. I make an effort to talk to people,even though i dont want to at times because i'm scared they wont want to talk to me.
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