Why do I always feel like I have to save everyone and fix everything? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 10-10-2011, 12:33 PM Thread Starter
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Why do I always feel like I have to save everyone and fix everything?

I do this all the time, at my own expense. Friends come to me with their problems and I try to help them as best as I can, like any good friend would. But I don't talk about my problems with them because I feel like it would only burden them further and they can't help me anyway. I sacrifice all kinds of things to help them. And I always feel like I have to fix everything. When someone else is sad, I get automatically sad ( read: depressed ) too, because I just can't handle anyone I love feeling this way. It goes further than sympathy, it's like I share everyone's troubles, carry their burdens. And I feel like I need to do this, because I deserve it, because I want to relieve some of their pain. I would have gone all like this forever, I am still going on like this, but I'm beginning to feel like I'm gonna collapse because of the constant weight I feel on my shoulders.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 10-10-2011, 12:54 PM
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I kind of know this. Even though I get irritated fast about small things, I have always been kind of a nice guy, wanting to help people with their problems and I always feel bad when I have to refuse or I can't help. Downside is that even though I am willing to help and so on, not everyone is willing to listen when I in turn need help or word of advice about something. Sometimes it is funny to observe such double standards where people who constantly complain, often tell others to stop *****ing and get over it.

Sad fact is that I use a technological device that is connected with few wires that run to hell know where, as my only place to hide from reality and to seek help to the problems I wouldn't even tell to the closest people to me in real life.

On the related note, I believe it has something to do with that we are highly sensitive persons, we get more sensory input from environment than the others, which leads to a good sense of imagination, and imagination helps us imagine the situation that other person is feeling.

You just have to accept that if you can't help, someone else perhaps could help the same person, or it is in your power to help him/her. Keep that in mind and good luck !
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 10-10-2011, 02:19 PM
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To answer the thread title...I think its because you're a kind hearted person. I know it sounds obvious, but its true. It makes you feel good to know that you've helped someone. Theres nothing wrong with that...but you can find a balance between helping someone with their problem, and taking on their problem yourself. Try to understand that everyone has problems, and you cant help everybody...so all you can do is try and know in your mind that you gave your best effort. Sometimes, things cant be helped but that doesnt mean that it's because of you.


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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 10-10-2011, 04:39 PM
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I'm always like this and sometimes my way of helping may come off as callous and insensitive, but I still be there to listen and help out in any way I can. I also never share my problems with anyone because I feel it would just burden them more since they have their own problems. When they crack a smile, then I know I didn't mess up. When they get depressed, then I feel depressed cause I failed them as a friend.
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