Where do 20-25 year olds hang out? Other than bars... - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 38 (permalink) Old 04-18-2011, 04:44 PM Thread Starter
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Where do 20-25 year olds hang out? Other than bars...

I'm 23 and lately I've been increasingly more aware of my complete lack of social life. It's always been in the back of my mind, but I just didn't care. I did whatever I could to distract myself and it worked.

But it's been 4 years since I've done anything social with someone other than my parents or sister. I literally haven't talked to anyone other than my family in four years, other than store clerks and people I talk to on the phone at my office.

So where do I go? What do I do? I don't live in the biggest city, in the three cities around me there are around 60,000 people. And being the pathetic person that I am, I studied the demographics and figured that there are 9,888 people 20-29 years old. Of that 9,888 probably 1/3 would have anything in common with me based on income levels, marital status, and education levels. So I have 3263 people who could potentially be friends with.


So where do I go and what do I do? I don't think I could go to a bar, and also don't think I would like the kind of person who enjoys bars. I don't drink and I just can't see myself ever liking someone who goes out to bars every weekend.


So where do these people hang out? Where do people in your towns hang out? Hell, where do you guys hang out if anywhere? I hate coffee, but have been thinking about forcing myself to try and like it so I could go to coffee shops and possibly end up talking to someone.
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post #2 of 38 (permalink) Old 04-18-2011, 04:51 PM
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Good question, I am quite curious myself, I will be watching this thread for some answers.
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post #3 of 38 (permalink) Old 04-18-2011, 04:52 PM
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Good question. I don't really have an answer for you but I'd really like to know myself! Honestly though I feel like even if I knew where to go I probably still wouldn't have enough courage to actually go anyway, let alone try and make friends . I'd like to play Football (soccer) again I used to play in school, or maybe get a band together, but I never even know where to start...

What do you like to do? Then maybe go from there...
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post #4 of 38 (permalink) Old 04-18-2011, 04:55 PM
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I've found that the library is a great place to meet people. Ironic, eh? Places that you'd never expect. Okay...I've met a couple of old weirdo's...but still. I've met some cool people while perusing for a good book.
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post #5 of 38 (permalink) Old 04-18-2011, 05:04 PM
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I just got an idea, how about Books-a-Million?
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post #6 of 38 (permalink) Old 04-18-2011, 05:05 PM
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Most people our age can be found in a bar or lounge after hours. That's just the way things are these days.

Think of things people our age like to do (besides drink). There's concerts, anime conventions, theaters (movie and live), coffee shops, malls, museums and the ever popular "home hangout".
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post #7 of 38 (permalink) Old 04-18-2011, 05:06 PM
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at there friends house
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post #8 of 38 (permalink) Old 04-18-2011, 05:10 PM
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take up classes in something you enjoy, like art or music or whatever. Chances are there will be other people around your age and they will already have something in common with you.
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post #9 of 38 (permalink) Old 04-18-2011, 05:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kennnie View Post
at there friends house
This is pretty much it. Most people that age are around friends. At least majority of the people around that age gap I met at a friend/acquaintances place. Or through a family member. Sadly, if you have few of these it will be quite difficult. I'd say aside from public places mentioned above this is the #1 place.
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post #10 of 38 (permalink) Old 04-18-2011, 05:44 PM
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Quote:
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This is pretty much it. Most people that age are around friends. At least majority of the people around that age gap I met at a friend/acquaintances place. Or through a family member. Sadly, if you have few of these it will be quite difficult. I'd say aside from public places mentioned above this is the #1 place.
This thread should be renamed to "Where do 20-25 year with SAS hang out other than their house?"

I heard classes can be good, there aren't any around my area sadly.
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post #11 of 38 (permalink) Old 04-18-2011, 05:54 PM
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post #12 of 38 (permalink) Old 04-18-2011, 06:13 PM
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This thread should be renamed to "Where do 20-25 year with SAS hang out other than their house?"
Even if someone with SA has no friends, I'm pretty sure most people with SA have families. And families a lot of the time know people. This is the easiest way. If not, public places and I guess classes if they are in the area.

I forgot to consider how big the city was. When I used to live in a small town with nearly no friends Wal-mart was the place to hang out. If not most people around this age gap meet people through work if they weren't always hanging out at a bar or club.

Dang, this question was harder than I thought. I would like see some more responses myself. The only thing I'm going to say is that most of the people that I met, I met when I specifically didn't want to go to a place where I knew there were lots of people. After I forced myself to go there things kind of randomly happened and both of us happened to be socially anxious people. So, I guess you never know.
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post #13 of 38 (permalink) Old 04-18-2011, 06:16 PM
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I work at Starbucks and there are plenty of people in our age group that come here. In fact, most are. I've met a few friends here, as well as my girlfriend. :P

*Book stores too!
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post #14 of 38 (permalink) Old 04-18-2011, 07:30 PM
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try meetup.com??
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post #15 of 38 (permalink) Old 04-19-2011, 12:23 AM
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The gym, classes you take for a hobby
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post #16 of 38 (permalink) Old 04-19-2011, 04:11 AM
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Usually they go overseas, fishing trips, outings organized by their colleges, attending marriage ceremonies...that's what I get from my previous hearsay from various events.

Living is easy with eyes closed
Misunderstanding all you see
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But it all works out
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Let me take you down
'Cause i'm going to strawberry fields...

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post #17 of 38 (permalink) Old 04-19-2011, 04:27 AM
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that's sad you haven't been out in that long.. this is somewhat of a perplexing query to me too though.. My social life has centered around drinking and I like to drink but feel it's cheating at life (among other reasons) so try not to do it a lot..
but first off, you don't have to drink coffee to go to a coffee house (those places aren't my cup of tea, pun intended lol, but check em if you think you'll like it) a lot of people drink tea or smoothies and so on.. either physical activities or artistic activities come to my mind. since you're trying to meet new people and aren't doing these things with someone else from the getgo it's harder to detail what there is to do.. basically you're asking where can I hang out by myself? not where people go to hang out.. cuz that would entail the people going together.. which could encompass more options, such as going for walks, nature hikes, beaches or other bodies of water if nearby, playing sports like basketball. of course you could do all those things by yourself, but you'd be less likely to meet someone else, unless you saw people playing basketball and asked to join them.. but then you risk crossing the line of weirdo guy started playing with us lol.. I think that most people meet through jobs and school.. or other school settings such as adult creative classes or whatever.. I've also met a fair amount of people from online, but then the premise was partying and that's what we did.. I started talking to someone recently (like the first person where the premise isn't partying) online and we've sort of agreed to meet up eventually, but not sure how to get beyond that point.. I live in Milwaukee and he lives in Chicago, so it's not that far but still is a ways.. now what will we do?? probably eat food and maybe watch a movie is all I can think of.. or take a walk.. oh man I don't know how I will weather through this when/if it happens lol.. anyways lol, I guess you should be even more specific in your query.. people just don't generally go places to hang out by themselves I suppose.. especially with our dependence on the world wide web =/ So you want to know where you go to meet potential new friends? or where to hang out/what to do with these potential new friends? if you don't have a job get one
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post #18 of 38 (permalink) Old 04-19-2011, 05:22 AM
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I think others have already said it.

There's no point going to a place where you feel you'll only end up meeting people who probably have little in common with you.

All you can do is decide on the person you are, the things you like doing and work from there.

I haven't really socialised in a long time, when I was a teenager I stayed clear from what every other teenager seemed to do, which was go out to clubs and parties and get drunk. What has brought me one step closer to moving away from such isolation is by finding people like me. I am a huge fan of anime and manga, so ages ago when I realised there was a UK Anime Club, I signed up and started meeting like minded people. Ok, so it was online, but I was able to chat with them and that was a starting point. I have now attended 2 anime conventions in the UK over the last couple of years, the first time I even did it by myself. I forced myself to go, I like anime and I will at least have something in common with others who go. I made the effort to get a costume and everything. Ok, so I may not have been that social there really but I found myself actually being able to think to myself "I can actually talk with these people". I also made a new friend who I often chat online with.
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post #19 of 38 (permalink) Old 04-19-2011, 08:23 AM
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see:
bookstores
coffee shops
churches and their young singles groups
malls in general
non-teenybopper clothing outlets
concerts, particularly open air ones in public squares
foot races (5k, 8k, 10k, etc.)
restaurants, particularly Mexican and Chinese
popular hiking trails
popular biking trails
dance clubs
art galleries, esp. on the first Friday of the month
places designated on Meetup.com

see also:
universities in general
student centers at the university
libraries at the university
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post #20 of 38 (permalink) Old 04-19-2011, 09:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cflage View Post
see:
bookstores
coffee shops
churches and their young singles groups
malls in general
non-teenybopper clothing outlets
concerts, particularly open air ones in public squares
foot races (5k, 8k, 10k, etc.)
restaurants, particularly Mexican and Chinese
popular hiking trails
popular biking trails
dance clubs
art galleries, esp. on the first Friday of the month
places designated on Meetup.com

see also:
universities in general
student centers at the university
libraries at the university
Nice list!
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