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Old 12-18-2006, 09:25 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default What's wrong with being quiet?

I was sitting down the other day wondering to myself of all the times i've been called quiet. Why does being a quiet person have such a bad reputation? I don't get why being quiet is such a bad thing.People point it out like you have the plaque or something.Has anybody ever wondered this?I'm so sick of having to make excuses for why i'm quiet.Is there an answer for this? because i would like to know.Why is it ok for someone to have the loudest fattest mouth and not stop talking but, to treat people who are quiet people like their the worst people on this planet.Quiet has such a bad reputation. why?
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Old 12-18-2006, 09:40 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Default re: What's wrong with being quiet?

I think it has something to do with perception. In western society quietness is almost perceived as weakness. I think it's because we are perceived as timid, unambitious and unconfident in a society where boldness, ambition, and confidence are worshipped.
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Old 12-18-2006, 10:04 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Nothing is wrong with being quiet. In fact, I wish more people would be quiet.
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Old 12-18-2006, 11:06 AM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Like Eimaj says, it's perception and the way this society is. It's geared towards the loud, extroverted types of people.
If you're not outgoing and talkative, people usually think is there is something wrong with you.
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Old 12-18-2006, 11:06 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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There is nothing wrong with being quiet. I think that it may be considered as stand-offish because people tend to be very insecure, and they believe that a quiet person is showing dislike towards them. This is not the case, but I think that is how it works.
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Old 12-18-2006, 02:17 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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I guess because usually whenever everybody else is engaging in the conmversation, they wonder why one person is quiet. We're just a mystery to the "normal" people. I'm sick of getting the same questions too, but people are curious because quiet people are quiet for different reasons. Some think we're stuck-up, some think we have nothing to say, some can sense we're nervous. It's really hard...
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Old 12-18-2006, 02:21 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Default re: What's wrong with being quiet?

I get this all the time as well. It is so annoying. Someone actually asked me why I didnt talk much and why was I so quiet. She thinks I am stuck up but I'm not. I have been quiet all my life but seem to be alot worse now as the more I isolate myself from people the quieter I get. I feel like I am always being judged just because I am quiet. I would rather be quiet than a loudmouth and gossip.

One good thing is quiet people tend to be good listeners and people respect that.
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Old 12-18-2006, 02:56 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Default re: What's wrong with being quiet?

I've always been quiet. I don't think I've ever been outgoing. But I sometimes think I am stuck-up in regards those I work with, because I think most of them are arseholes. Initally i tried very hard to fit in, but I find I get really irritated by them. They're loud, obnoxious and just generally idiotic. That said, they probably don't like me all that much either.

Such is life.
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Old 12-18-2006, 03:54 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Default re: What's wrong with being quiet?

Because extroverts rule the world unfortunately.
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Old 12-18-2006, 04:03 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Default re: What's wrong with being quiet?

I was told some people think your a serial killer or you got something to hide, if your quiet. You know the saying, watch out for the quiet ones.
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Old 12-18-2006, 07:38 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Default re: What's wrong with being quiet?

The problem lies with today's society. It really is that simple. As soon as society deems something or a certain quality unacceptable, those who possess those qualities are automatically outcasted.
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Old 12-19-2006, 05:33 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Default re: What's wrong with being quiet?

Thanks everyone for your replies.I understand now that it is society that made those rules.It isn't fair that the loud mouths rule and the quiet ones are seen this way.I wish i could change society because i'm sick of living this way.
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Old 12-19-2006, 10:04 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Default re: What's wrong with being quiet?

I'd say it's probably 2/3's because of soceity, and 1/3 because of evolution. Regardless, people will judge based on how you talk.
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Old 12-19-2006, 10:20 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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Default re: What's wrong with being quiet?

Strength, what do you mean it's part of evolution? Can you elaborate on that?

I agree with Eimaj, but I also want to add that I think people put a certain focus on quiet people because they don't know how to classify them. With someone that talks and establishes who they are, people know how to classify them (cool or strange or cheerful). And people naturally try to classify people, but quiet people are either harder to figure out or classified as just weird.

So when people ask you why you don't talk, i think they're just trying to figure you out, or try to get to know you.
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Old 12-20-2006, 12:24 AM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CityBoyGoneCountry
Nothing is wrong with being quiet. In fact, I wish more people would be quiet.
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Old 12-20-2006, 01:07 AM   #16 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: What's wrong with being quiet?

Quote:
Originally Posted by friendlychick26
I was sitting down the other day wondering to myself of all the times i've been called quiet. Why does being a quiet person have such a bad reputation? I don't get why being quiet is such a bad thing.People point it out like you have the plaque or something.Has anybody ever wondered this?I'm so sick of having to make excuses for why i'm quiet.Is there an answer for this? because i would like to know.Why is it ok for someone to have the loudest fattest mouth and not stop talking but, to treat people who are quiet people like their the worst people on this planet.Quiet has such a bad reputation. why?
it shows arrowgance, or people may take you as stupid
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Old 12-20-2006, 08:39 AM   #17 (permalink)
 
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Default re: What's wrong with being quiet?

If your talking to a group of people you feel comfortable with and theres one person who is quiet, what do you think of that person?

personally i think
a) They think they're better than me/us, and dont want to be part of the conversation
or
b) They wish to be part of the conversation but are too nervous to do so

both of which are negative, and thats why being quiet is a problem.
Of course i am talking about someone who is consistently quiet.
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Old 12-20-2006, 06:02 PM   #18 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: re: What's wrong with being quiet?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Solatil
Strength, what do you mean it's part of evolution? Can you elaborate on that?
I'm just guessing, but I think that maybe a long time ago, people who spoke up became the leaders of their group, and were more likely to survive (reproduce offspring). So people through the years would gravitate towards those who spoke up, and now it becomes instinctive.

incredible357, that's a good breakdown of how most people judge quiet ones. I would also add option c) "there is something not normal about them."
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Old 12-21-2006, 02:26 AM   #19 (permalink)
 
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Default re: What's wrong with being quiet?

So it follows; if quiet people are often perceived as a) arrogant/stuck-up, b) just nervous/timid, or c) abnormal, they're much more likely to experience rejection and other negative reactions, and many people don't tend to tolerate obvious differences from the norm very well; especially if they imagine that the 'different' person also thinks they are better than others.

From my experience, I'd say that quite a few people think a) when they encounter a quiet person, and there do seem to be many insecure people around. If a person remains quiet, it leaves room for others to imagine all kinds of things about them. I think that being quiet in a social setting is sometimes more likely to give off an air of quietly sitting in judgement.

If the quiet person is seen as just nervous, they might suffer other people patronising them and seeing them as weak/timid in some way. I've had this quite a lot.

If seen as abnormal, they might be lectured on how to become more 'normal', or be laughed at, or feared. I've been bullied to be more 'normal'. I've also been called a serial killer .

That's a pretty big downside, and I've experienced all of those things. Thankfully, quiet people can often be perceived as trustworthy, intelligent, cool, sophisticated, interesting, patient... . If only this was for the vast majority of the time .
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Old 01-06-2007, 11:21 AM   #20 (permalink)
 
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Default re: What's wrong with being quiet?

There's nothing at all wrong with it. It's just the outgoing people who never shut up that seem to have a problem with it and unfortunately there are alot more of those people than there are quiet people like us. And they just don't understand why everyone can't be obnoxious like them.
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