What triggers your social anxiety?? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 71 (permalink) Old 11-28-2016, 08:42 AM Thread Starter
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What triggers your social anxiety??

Is there anything that triggers your social anxiety?

For me Yes there are things that trigger my social anxiety.

I had a very bad and abusive childhood > so sometimes memories of that cause me anxiety.

Also there was a time when a person went around in the community where I lived and they spoke lies about me and said really bad things about me to a lot of people... that incident caused me a lot of pain. If I was to go back to that area I bet I would have social anxiety > and also just the memory of that incident causes me anxiety

There were other times in my life when really bad things happened to me... and sometimes when I think of those things social anxiety comes to me.

There are a few people that I met a long time ago that were very mean to me. If I was to ever see them again face to face I think I would have anxiety about it.

So I guess > Bad memories, certain places and certain people cause me social anxiety at times.

what triggers your social anxiety??
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post #2 of 71 (permalink) Old 11-28-2016, 10:07 AM
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1. Interacting with people (any medium--in person, telephone, e-mail, chat, forums, etc.).

2. The prospect of having to interact with people.

3. Anything that feels the same as interacting with people (for example, replying to an automated message/phone call, or singing aloud/dancing/exercising even though nobody is around).

If I don't reply to you, it's NOTHING PERSONAL. It's my ANXIETY.

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post #3 of 71 (permalink) Old 11-28-2016, 10:10 AM
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Going to new places. I'm always afraid I'll do something wrong. Like, they have their way of doing things, and I don't know the system.

Asking people for help. Especially when I have a difficult time describing what I need, or if I think it's something they won't want to help me with.

Crowds. Airports and airplanes are the worst. Just too many people.

Any kind of confrontation, even if I'm not involved, if I just hear it, my anxiety soars.

Making telephone calls. Just my weird phobia, don't know why.

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post #4 of 71 (permalink) Old 11-28-2016, 10:11 AM
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Lots of stuff triggers me, but being ignored and rejected really makes me depressed/anxious. I just got back from my stupid humanities class where my teacher ignores me all the time and i just feel so depressed in that class and just want to leave asap.

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post #5 of 71 (permalink) Old 11-28-2016, 11:33 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tehuti88 View Post
1. Interacting with people (any medium--in person, telephone, e-mail, chat, forums, etc.).

2. The prospect of having to interact with people.

3. Anything that feels the same as interacting with people (for example, replying to an automated message/phone call, or singing aloud/dancing/exercising even though nobody is around).


WOW. I have to say that it sounds like you have it really hard in life. If any kind of interaction with other people gives you anxiety then it must be hard to get by in life.
I hope that somehow you are able to improve this area of your life and be able to associate with other people without anxiety at some point in the future.
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post #6 of 71 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 04:19 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by naes View Post
Lots of stuff triggers me, but being ignored and rejected really makes me depressed/anxious. I just got back from my stupid humanities class where my teacher ignores me all the time and i just feel so depressed in that class and just want to leave asap.

That is interesting. Yes, I can understand where being ignored and rejected can be a rough thing to deal with. There were times in life where I was ignored by most people. I guess back then I was not very attractive and also there was nothing about my personality that people liked back then... so when I went to parties and other social situations... things did not go well for me. People just ignored me and My social life was ****ty in life back then > so YES, I know that its frustrating to be ignored. It can make you feel worthless.
But later in life I improved my appearance and I improved my intellect and I improved my social skills > so not when I go to socia events people like me and they talk to me and I make friends and contacts easily now. So let me tell you that things can improve if you work on yourself....

thanks for being open and honest and adding to the topic discussion
I wish you the best
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post #7 of 71 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 04:22 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by naes View Post
Lots of stuff triggers me, but being ignored and rejected really makes me depressed/anxious. I just got back from my stupid humanities class where my teacher ignores me all the time and i just feel so depressed in that class and just want to leave asap.

That is interesting. Yes, I can understand where being ignored and rejected can be a rough thing to deal with. There were times in life where I was ignored by most people. I guess back then I was not very attractive and also there was nothing about my personality that people liked back then... so when I went to parties and other social situations... things did not go well for me. People just ignored me and My social life was bad in life back then > so YES, I know that its frustrating to be ignored and rejected. It can make you feel worthless.
But later in life I improved my appearance and I improved my intellect and I improved my social skills > so not when I go to social events people like me and they talk to me and I make friends and contacts easily now. So let me tell you that things can improve if you work on yourself....

thanks for being open and honest and adding to the topic discussion
I wish you the best
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post #8 of 71 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 10:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Riff Raff View Post
That is interesting. Yes, I can understand where being ignored and rejected can be a rough thing to deal with. There were times in life where I was ignored by most people. I guess back then I was not very attractive and also there was nothing about my personality that people liked back then... so when I went to parties and other social situations... things did not go well for me. People just ignored me and My social life was ****ty in life back then > so YES, I know that its frustrating to be ignored. It can make you feel worthless.
But later in life I improved my appearance and I improved my intellect and I improved my social skills > so not when I go to socia events people like me and they talk to me and I make friends and contacts easily now. So let me tell you that things can improve if you work on yourself....

thanks for being open and honest and adding to the topic discussion
I wish you the best
Uhhh, thanks? It has nothing to do with me tho.

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post #9 of 71 (permalink) Old 11-29-2016, 10:45 AM
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-If I have to interact with people. I think that they will be negative towards me.
-If I'm going to be evaluated,people giving me feedback on something I did and that sort of thing. I always feel like I didn't do a good job,and I almost wait for people to criticize me.
-If I do something wrong. No matter how small it is. I get the feeling that people will be mad at me and that really triggers my anxiety.
-If I need to have an opinion on something. This makes me think that people will laugh at me and mock me.
-To do something in front of someone. It can be smaller things too,but it just makes me feel like I'm doing it wrong.

Yeah,to sum it up:I'm afraid to do something wrong and that people will be negative about it. I have this irrational fear of people hating me and being negative towards me if I don't do everything perfect and right. That makes me keep my mouth shut because I'm so afraid that I'll say something stupid or wrong. I'm always quiet around people.

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post #10 of 71 (permalink) Old 11-30-2016, 06:10 AM
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-Phone calls (It took me a whole week to buck up for this one call I had to do for my Yearbook class and one of the colleges I visited wanted me to take a survey, but I kept ignoring the calls because it terrified me)

-Loud and obnoxious people or people who seem really aggressive (My father was abusive both emotionally and psychically, so whenever people yell or talk loud it reminds me of when he used to beat me. Plus, it just overwhelms me dramatically.)

-Going to public places in general (Too many people and too many emotions I'm absorbing. I sometimes get this way with online games too)

-Being put on the spotlight (I could never do talent shows because of this and how everyone will make fun of me. T_T Plus, I've had embarrassing moments in the past where I'm alone and someone walks in on me while I'm doing something more extroverted and I close up and cry.)

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post #11 of 71 (permalink) Old 12-01-2016, 12:42 AM
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-Appointments of any kind. This is actually terrible but I'm due for a physical and other check ups but I am petrified to see a doctor. Even something simple like a car service freaks me out. I'm not really sure what to do about this.
-Seeking help of any kind. If I could do this I think my life would be a lot better at this point.
-If I start to think a stranger is upset/angry with me. I work in retail and so this happens to me more often than I'd like.
-Phone calls, emails, even texts and im.
-Being the center of attention. No, just no.
-Talking one on one with someone, unless they are family or already very close to me.
-People looking through anything personal of mine. Such as my phone, notebook, room, bag. I feel panic even if I have nothing to hide. I am always afraid they will see something and become disgusted with me.
-Having someone review work I have done. Like grades in class or at work. Even casually showing friends artwork or a project I have worked on freaks me out. I think it's because my mom would berate and mock me after I showed her my homework as a kid ("Are you braindead?").
-Being hit on. Sorry this sounds so cocky, it doesn't happen that often, trust me, but honestly I find it so terrifying.
-Also often, I will just be doing something random and it will loosely remind me of a horrible anxiety ridden memory and I will relive the anxiety I felt then. So just about anything really.
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post #12 of 71 (permalink) Old 12-01-2016, 11:40 AM
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Phone calls, phone calls, and phone calls. Also, phone calls.

That along with visiting new places such as a store, lounge, or a friend's house. First day of classes? That too. I'm afraid of leaving a bad first impression on my classmates and teacher, so I always arrive early and get situated. Also why I half-*** those "About Me" slide shows or sheets. I don't want to embarrass myself, but I also don't want to make too much of an exaggerated introduction.

Having to translate for my parents is horrifying as well. It's not as bad because my mother can't speak English at all, while my father knows a decent amount, but having to be in an awkward situation where j have to keep going back and forth between my parents and a random person exhilarates me in a negative way.

Going up to ask a question to a teacher, professor, a friend, an older person, etc. gives me such a rush and I continue going back and forth both in my mind and in the real world if I should ask such a simple question or save it for later (i.e. forget about it completely).

Not only questions, but confessions too. Oh, boy, do I have thoughts I spilled when I shouldn't have. Even looking back, it's hard to see how I did those things without fainting and throwing up at the spot.

Did I mention phone calls?

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post #13 of 71 (permalink) Old 12-01-2016, 11:53 AM
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Phone phobia phone calls are the worst thing in the world, even if it's from family.
shopping is really bad, i start to sweat and worry about the things I buy and I try to hide my shopping cart, and store associates please don't ask if I need help.
Eating in public, I don't wan't people to see me eat because what if I'm an ugly eater who eats too fast. or if i'm eating too big of a bite, or what if there's something on my face.
when people stand behind me, it's like there watching me, if I'm doing stuff on my phone I shut it off immediately so they don't see what I'm doing.
College, standing around alone waiting for class while everyone else is socializing, then in class participation in groups, project presentations.
the little chat request button on the bottom of this site.
I've sort of gotten used to putting comments on here but every once in a while I worry that I'm making myself look like an idiot or that you all will hate me for something I say.
The Philadelphia Eagles don't trigger SA but they give me horribly painful crippling anxiety.

What is this?

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post #14 of 71 (permalink) Old 12-01-2016, 11:54 AM
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- Being in an environment that is unfamiliar to me.
- Interacting with people (whether it's face to face or via phone calls).
- The thought of having to interact with people.

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post #15 of 71 (permalink) Old 12-22-2016, 03:42 AM
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For me, my triggers are likely to be as follows:

Telephone calls – I hate talking to voices of people I can't see. I can't picture emotional expressions and I often find myself stuttering when it comes to phone calls. I'd much rather use e-mail than telephone. I've always been the same… Whatever I can do to get out of a phone call, I'll do…

Crowds of people – I will actively avoid crowds where I possibly can. If I need to go into a particular shop and I'll see it's crowded, I'll go into another or simply find something else to do until the crowds disperse. I've also been in very busy pubs where I've ended up heading out into the beer garden (regardless of weather) just to give myself some space. However having said that, I was in London back in August and I was largely fine… There wasn't too many moments where I felt claustrophobic. I think this is one area where I feel I might have self-improved slightly in recent years.

Disagreements – If someone generally disagrees with me, I'm fine. I have no issue. However, if they pursue a disagreement, particularly face to face, I'll start sweating and stuttering. At worse, I'll either find myself shaking and having to walk away or I'll snap back. I don't verbally lay into someone I disagree with and I would expect the same treatment back. Sadly, I find people are usually very picky, overly negative or obnoxious if they disagree with me. Hence I try to say as little as possible in the first place.

Mistakes – We all make them. Every single one of us. People usually just laugh them off and that's the end of the matter. I feel I’m made to dwell on them as people remember mine from literally years ago. They're highlighted, underlined and put in bold. I'm therefore usually slow at doing most tasks at work because I'm worried sick it'll be just something else to add to the list they'll put on my 'permanent record' .

Alpha males – The loud, animated, proud, domineering, often inconsiderate of others around them, usually tall and these days often come with stubble or beards… You know the sorts… Why do they need to be this way? I feel intimidated and under threat by them. Sadly, many women swoon over these types of men and then wonder why all men are a**eholes… (nope – just the ones they choose to notice/acknowledge – over and over again).

Talking in groups of people – I'm okay in front of two or three people I know well. More than that? I struggle terribly. I'll react in a similar way to what I describe in disagreements – barring walking away. I'll just end up sweating, stuttering, slurring and just about everyone will completely misinterpret what I'm saying.

The biggest trigger of all though – is in the below quote:

Quote:
Originally Posted by naes
Lots of stuff triggers me, but being ignored and rejected really makes me depressed/anxious.
Snap. One of the biggest triggers for me is knowing I've made effort and this effort goes by unrewarded. Yet, I see other people doing exactly the same thing as I do, if not less and they seem to get ten times more respect and acknowledgement. It hugely frustrates me and given I've put in an enormous amount effort over the last 12-18 months to make some steps forward, it doesn't exactly inspire motivation or confidence to continue trying.

It's just another example of how Socially Anxious people are purposefully singled out and stigmatised - yet regular people genuinely wonder why we are the way we are...

I don't want to be the centre of attention. I don't want the 'red carpet' rolled out for me. All I've ever wanted is mutual respect from others and the same perks they have when I know full well I've done at least the same amount of legwork. I just want to be treated as a regular 31 year old guy – and not relentlessly stigmatised and probed for my appalling luck on making zero lifetime progressions.

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post #16 of 71 (permalink) Old 12-22-2016, 03:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hayman View Post
Mistakes – We all make them. Every single one of us. People usually just laugh them off and that's the end of the matter. I feel I’m made to dwell on them as people remember mine from literally years ago. They're highlighted, underlined and put in bold. I'm therefore usually slow at doing most tasks at work because I'm worried sick it'll be just something else to add to the list they'll put on my 'permanent record' .
This, OMG this. I have so fresh memory of mistakes that happened over 10 years ago. And people who witnessed those mistakes surely don't even remember them, but I feel like they're still talking about them like "Hey remember that idiot?". It's a torture.

Other triggers:
- Phone calls
- Crowds
- Public places in general
- Loud noises
- Communication with people face to face
- Doing tasks while being observed

1 Corinthians 13:13
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
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post #17 of 71 (permalink) Old 12-22-2016, 06:31 AM
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post #18 of 71 (permalink) Old 12-22-2016, 03:54 PM
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Seeing past classmates and people that know of me from middle school and high school. Because that was when I was considered an oddball and loner. If I run into them now, they will see me as the oddball loner from school. This brings my SA back in full rush. This is something I still struggle to overcome.
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post #19 of 71 (permalink) Old 12-22-2016, 03:58 PM
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post #20 of 71 (permalink) Old 12-22-2016, 04:01 PM
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1. Anyone who yells- a product of my turbulent childhood

2. Loud noises- another product of childhood

3. Being around loud people in general- product of childhood where everyone was expected to be loud

4. Groups- I automatically feel like im excluded and like they're talking negatively about me

5. Crowded areas- I feel like I can't breathe or focus and I feel like everyone staring at me even though they aren't

6. Definitely telephone calls but that's been kind of decreasing lately mostly out of necessity

7. Seeing people I know (you have NO idea how much this pisses me off THEY'RE EVERYWHERE) Like last week I was at the hospital and out of the 20 hospitals in the damn medical center my high school club mate just so happens to work at the same hospital my sister was in on the same damn floor.

8. I can't work when people are looking at me, I get so self conscious and I end up making mistakes because I'm constantly second guessing myself. ugh

also this isn't as frequent, but certain smells especially things that smell like school eg.: cafeteria food, gross restrooms, that weird paper smell some classrooms have give me this terrible anxiety and I start having flashbacks.

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