Thank you the greatdiaphanous & Julesp
Your posts were extremely well written, thoughtful, insightful and spot on.
Yes, I want to know "WHY"!
I am always viewing myself as a victim, but you know what, I actually am a victim. I want so badly to change things, at least my initial reactions and stop the horrible why, why, why dialog in my mind. I often respond with rigid sarcasm and the "evil eye" look. In the end, I have always become the loser because the perpetrators run to the boss with complaints. That, I suppose is their way of reacting. I end up being "The Problem" accused of not being a team player. I will not stoop so low as to carry a concealed tape recorder to prove my innocence.
SA is not something I want to discuss with co-workers or employers. I do not want to give anyone ammunition to use against me and they will, given ample opportunity. 99% of the women I have worked with in Florida behave inappropriately; spend hours on their smart phones, cursing, low class, much to personal comments, constant teasing, giggling. I am in a professional occupation, diligent "nose to the grindstone" employee. I am also 20 years their senior and will hold firm to my work ethic. We work in an open space environment.
Empathy is found with the beautiful individuals on this board. I wish I would have found you years ago.
Wish I could "lighten up", but that would not be my personality or true to myself. I would feel uncomfortable behaving that way.