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Old 03-09-2011, 08:29 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default What is so good about being outgoing?

I just don't see why I have to act "extroverted" just for people to want to talk to me. I've tried this role many times, but people find out quick that it wasn't me. It seems like outgoing people seem to get all the praise and we only get the backlash. What do you think about it?

Introverts are special too and I don't think extroverts are better than anyone. They just talk a lot. Lol!
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Old 03-09-2011, 08:34 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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I think it's just easier to connect with people who talk a lot, because well, they talk a lot.
To be honest, I wouldn't mind being quiet and introverted if I wasn't so NERVOUS all the time and if I was able to communicate normally with others. Because some people actually like the quiet types and don't mind it at all.
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Old 03-09-2011, 08:54 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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I don't know that introverts get a bad rap so much as they don't stand out as much as extroverts. Have you ever been read as intelligent, because you're reserved? (it's a generalization I admit, but still)

I agree with Krista on all points.
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Old 03-09-2011, 09:24 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I think it's a lot tougher being an introvert because extroverts/outgoing people largely dominate public and social life, so they tend to set expectations.

"In our extrovertist-dominated society, being outgoing is considered normal and therefore desirable, a mark of happiness, confidence, leadership. Extroverts are seen as bighearted, vibrant, warm, empathic. "People person" is a compliment. Introverts are described with words like "guarded," "loner," "reserved," "taciturn," "self-contained," "private"—narrow, ungenerous words, words that suggest emotional parsimony and smallness of personality."

I agree with this and I have to say that speaking for myself and I'm not sure how other introverts feel but I personally don't really care as much for other people as the extroverts I have met. At the same time even though I think introverts are likely less caring/empathetic, they are also less dangerous/harmful/judgemental. They seem too busy playing around with their thoughts to inflict damage/harm to other people, at least intentially. I could be wrong, though?
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Old 03-09-2011, 09:49 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kon View Post
I think it's a lot tougher being an introvert because extroverts/outgoing people largely dominate public and social life, so they tend to set expectations.

"In our extrovertist-dominated society, being outgoing is considered normal and therefore desirable, a mark of happiness, confidence, leadership. Extroverts are seen as bighearted, vibrant, warm, empathic. "People person" is a compliment. Introverts are described with words like "guarded," "loner," "reserved," "taciturn," "self-contained," "private"—narrow, ungenerous words, words that suggest emotional parsimony and smallness of personality."

I agree with this and I have to say that speaking for myself and I'm not sure how other introverts feel but I personally don't really care as much for other people as the extroverts I have met. At the same time even though I think introverts are likely less caring/empathetic, they are also less dangerous/harmful/judgemerntal. They seem too busy playing around with their thoughts to inflict damage/harm to other people, at least intentially. I could be wrong, though?
From myself anyway, I am an introvert but one of my problems I think is that I care too much about people, what they think of me, am I impressing them and I like helping people. I don't get to do that much in person because of my SA though. I don't consider myself judgemental either, well I try not to be anyway. Also any personality questionnaire thing I do, I often get a result back that I am a people person which is odd considering you will not find a quieter/shyer person than me, I don't think. So maybe I am not an introvert but an extrovert with SA. I am confused.
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Old 03-09-2011, 11:19 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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It's not better, nor is it worse. Just be yourself. If you're introverted, good for you. I'm not, and personally find that being an extrovert with SA is just painful.
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Old 03-09-2011, 12:04 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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My theory is that people don't want to put a whole lotta work into getting to know a person. With an extrovert they get a quick idea of who that person is. With introverts it takes a while to get to know the person. A lot of people are simple minded and have poor attention spans. They believe people are as they appear. The funny thing is, once you get past the "personality" of the extrovert there can be a lot of issues underneath. A lot of extroverts just have the facade going for them.
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Old 03-09-2011, 12:11 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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The irony for me is that the less i care about how introverted I am, the more outgoing I become.
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Old 03-09-2011, 02:39 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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People will almost always go for what's easiest. It's easier for them to talk to outgoing people, so that's what they do. Most of society is selfish, sadly. They always want everything to be easy for them even when it's at the shy person's expense.
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Old 03-09-2011, 03:04 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sarafinanickelbocker View Post
I don't know that introverts get a bad rap so much as they don't stand out as much as extroverts.
Yeah I agree with this.


Quiet people tend to fade into the background. I don't think that everyone views introverts as bad, it's just that...well, let's say you're at a party, and there are some people who are really outgoing, funny, the center of attention. Then there are maybe two or three people who didn't say anything the whole night and pretty much kept to themselves. After the party, who are you more likely to remember?

I'm not saying that us introverts are all boring and unmemorable, just that extroverts have a way of being in the spotlight and that's what makes them stand out.

I wish I was more extroverted simply b/c I feel that life would be easier. I hate being afraid of social interactions. I don't care if I'm the life of the party, I just don't want to freak out whenever someone I don't know very well tries to talk to me. Plus my dating life would be a lot easier....part of my biggest SA struggle is that I have a realllllly hard time talking to guys that I like.
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Old 03-09-2011, 05:30 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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I always end up being the most introverted if I'm with a group of friends like here at uni for example... it was the same at school, I seem to prefer being around people who were extroverted because it would mean they do most of the talking and dramatic stuff, whilst I was always the laidback, good listener type. I was still highly valuable that way.
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Old 03-10-2011, 06:53 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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I agree with Mae West and IceManKilmer...

I see some girls in high school and they're like the girly/gossip-type of girls who listen to mainstream music and wear the same preppy clothes, and I just can't find myself relatable to these types of people. I don't know what it is, but I find them really annoying.
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Old 03-10-2011, 06:55 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluedragon View Post
Research indicates that Extroverts are generally happier. But..I think I've conditioned myself to think that if you're happy, you're delusional.

Extroversion is associated with success or something, while introversion is the opposite.
It's stigma.
I bet a lot of extroverts would be less likely to admit to being unhappy.
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Old 03-10-2011, 07:06 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VivaEmptinessRoses View Post
I just don't see why I have to act "extroverted" just for people to want to talk to me. I've tried this role many times, but people find out quick that it wasn't me. It seems like outgoing people seem to get all the praise and we only get the backlash. What do you think about it?

Introverts are special too and I don't think extroverts are better than anyone. They just talk a lot. Lol!
Amen sista.

Also, (because I'm crabby and not in the mood to be more articulate atm) I think introverts are far less ignorant. I feel like extroverts don't really know they're extroverts, they just think they're "normal" and anyone who isn't similar to them is too quiet/weird. Whereas introverts realize there are more types of personalities in the world . I'm speaking in general terms though, I don't think all extroverts are idiots (I'm not that ignorant ).
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Old 03-10-2011, 07:39 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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I like to call myself a centrovert It's somewhere in the middle of introverted and extroverted this helps me to communicate with most people lol.

Extroverted people talk too much sometimes it can be ****ing annoying lol.
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Old 03-10-2011, 09:35 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mae West View Post
I bet a lot of extroverts would be less likely to admit to being unhappy.
Why do you even think that? It seems like you're just making it up.
If they are less likely, they still might probably tell the truth. If it was a private poll..who cares. They simply tend to be happier. Just the way it is.
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Old 03-10-2011, 09:48 PM   #17 (permalink)
 
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nothing espically if you dont enjoy it
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Old 03-10-2011, 09:56 PM   #18 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluedragon View Post
Why do you even think that? It seems like you're just making it up.
If they are less likely, they still might probably tell the truth. If it was a private poll..who cares. They simply tend to be happier. Just the way it is.
Extroverts tend to be happier because they tend to have better jobs than shy people=more money, and the main reason is that they tend to have more personal relationships than shy people, and better personal relationships than shy people. As humans we are designed to enjoy connecting with other human beings, and extroverts tend to be more successful at connecting with others, hence, they tend to be happier. I want to make it clear this is just a percentage thing and there are exceptions, not all people fall into the exact categories i just mentioned. I realize shy people can possibly have great jobs and lots of friends, and outgoing people can have crummy jobs and no friends.
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Old 03-10-2011, 10:57 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluedragon View Post
Research indicates that Extroverts are generally happier. But..I think I've conditioned myself to think that if you're happy, you're delusional.

Extroversion is associated with success or something, while introversion is the opposite.
It's stigma.
I'd love to see the article, who was polled (data pool), and who conducted this (known expert or quack). Source? I'm not trying to patronize you, but many people mistake random articles they stumble across and regard it as cold facts, thereafter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kon View Post
I think it's a lot tougher being an introvert because extroverts/outgoing people largely dominate public and social life, so they tend to set expectations.

"In our extrovertist-dominated society, being outgoing is considered normal and therefore desirable, a mark of happiness, confidence, leadership. Extroverts are seen as bighearted, vibrant, warm, empathic. "People person" is a compliment. Introverts are described with words like "guarded," "loner," "reserved," "taciturn," "self-contained," "private"—narrow, ungenerous words, words that suggest emotional parsimony and smallness of personality."

I agree with this and I have to say that speaking for myself and I'm not sure how other introverts feel but I personally don't really care as much for other people as the extroverts I have met. At the same time even though I think introverts are likely less caring/empathetic, they are also less dangerous/harmful/judgemental. They seem too busy playing around with their thoughts to inflict damage/harm to other people, at least intentially. I could be wrong, though?
Too bad SAS does not have a rep system, cause this golden post definitely deserves a rep or two.
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Old 03-10-2011, 11:08 PM   #20 (permalink)
 
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I think if everyone was introverted the world would have developed a lot more slowly than with people who are eager to work together and communicate. Speaking of which i dont think theres any jobs out there that want people who keep to themselves. Almost everything requires you to be a good team player. Thats one reason.
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