What do you believe your SA stems from?

[Akira90125]

Initially I thought that my anxiety came solely from the belief of intellectual inadequacy, but now i'm pretty sure there's more to it than that, I'm just not sure what, which is why your ideas might help me discover some of my other underlying factors.

[relyt]

Thats the million dollar question isn't it . There is probably no single source...I've stopped trying to wrap my head around the reasons why and have taken to just focusing on how to overcome my particular issues. I do tend to put a lot of blame on my mother for how she raised me however. She tended to avoided a lot of tough situations in her own life and that trait seems to have ingrained itself in me.

[Akira90125]

actually i'm not asking for a single source, i'm asking for any factors that you think contribute to your anxiety. i just wanted to clarify that point. but thanks for answering

[shadowmask]

- Genetics. My mother had SA and depression.
- I think I'm one of the ugliest/weirdest looking people to ever live.
- I have the inherent belief that something is just "wrong" with me, probably due to my father drilling this into my head throughout my childhood.
- High school. I was treated as an outcast and the "psycho kid" who everyone feared would shoot up the place.

[Phoenix87]

• Genetics
• Puberty
• HighSchool
• Moving to a new city in grade 8
• Mental Breakdown just after failing University

[BTW]

A big thing for me right now is that I have very below average social skills and I've barley been to any parties and have never had a g/f, so I kind of feel like I'm not on the same social 'level' as everyone else, and I have to try and hide this from other people. If I didn't have these problems right now I think my anxiety would be a lot better, but thats probably not where it came from in the first place.

[Rixy]

-Dysfunction in the family
-Feelings of inadequacy
-Ashamed of my appearance
-Growing up in an area and a school where I stood out too much

There's probably more

[DistinctlyAmbiguous]

-Losing parent at early age
-Troubles finding acceptance as early as 2nd grade
-Made to feel inadequate by older brothers
-Fear and failure to follow through

[Fuzzy Logic]

I don't know, I remember before I started school I had a few friends living on my street, but when when my family moved and I started school I was totally unable to make friends and my social skills never properly developed. I think a lot of it came from my dyslexia, since I always felt inferior to pretty much everyone in my classes. I mean, I was eleven or twelve by the time I finally learned to read and by then I had been pretty much convinced that I was just 'the stupid one'. The teachers would ignore me during lessons since they seemed to think I was a lost cause. Their only attempt to deal with my problem was to try and get me transfered to another class or school so that I wouldn't make them look bad. Needless to say I have had very low self-esteem through most of my life.

As for the genetic thing... My sister can be shy, but just normal shy (she has a large group of friends but has strange aversions like not answering the phone or meeting people who come up to the door). I'm convinced my grandmother had/has full SA since apparently she never had any friends that my mother can recall (her late husband was pretty much her only real companion other than her children).

[Grixxly]

Lack of experience. Growing up all I ever did was stay inside and play computer games while my friends were out doing stuff and I slowly drifted away from them which only lead to more staying inside. I was also quite the mammas boy, was taught to not care what other people think of me which kind of worked against me because I became a bum around 8th and 9th grade because I "did not care" just how my mom wanted. I've changed but so have my fellow peers. I'm still on a whole different social level then people my own age which is a reason for me having difficulty being comfterable in social situations. I do better with the middle school aged kids on the playground then highschool kids at a party. It's kind of like I'm picking up were I left off.

[matty]

-body image
-self esteem
-weird one. I was with a girl for 7 years. Got very comfortable and lost social skills. Now I am lost with the whole social thing. It scares me

[blah]

Body image, used to be obese and lost the weight but still self conscious about my body. But years of teasing through middle/high school still haunt me. Didn't get made fun of once for my body in college but still self conscious about it.

I grew up poor and as a result was really self conscious about other people knowing about that.

Mom also kind of became hermit, she was VERY social when I was a kid, but broke her ankle pretty badly and had nearly a year of recovery and as a result became obese and embarassed about it. She pretty much kept me out of social situations because she didnt' want to be in them herself. I remember she bribed me because she didn't want to go to other kids birthday parties and I accepted (eg I'll give you the $50 I would spend on x's Bday gift if we don't go)

Right now lack of social experience, I pretty much have the life experience of a 12 year old since that is when I started to shut out all social situations. Feel weird about being the 23 year old who has no friends, never had a 'real' job or been kissed.

[Breakfast0fChampions]

A nut job for a mother and being ill-received by peers because of the restrictions put upon me by said mother. That's what it basically boils down to.

[Iced Soul]

Horrible self image, self worth being constantly lowered, forced to act like an adult before I was ready and not being a kid/teen, and being sheltered growing up.

That's where I think mine stemmed from. I'm sure it varies from person to person.

[sky is falling]

Poor social skills
Self esteem
Feeling below everyone else

Don't know how it happened, didn't always have SA and think like I do now.. Just woke up one morning, different.

[toffee]

I have no idea, but i'd guess genetic and life experiences. my mum is on tablets for general anxiety (she definately doesn't have social anxiety), but she gets anxious and worried alot. My dad is extremely introverted.. he doesn't go out alot, and his only friends are his brothers. saying that, up to the age of 10, i loved playing with my fellow peers.. i was always out playing football, and i was quite popular in school, even though i was shy. i just don't think that i got anxious.. high school.. well.. i don't want to mention much more but i didn't have many friends, always sat at the back of class alone, people would make fun of me sometimes, which i think may have contributed to my sa..

[CrashMedicate]

1.) Lack of self-confidence
2.) Lack of social confidence
3.) Lack of basic social skills

And that's it. I've worked on getting rid of those 3 problems and SA is becoming more of a thing of the past for me every day. Still have a long road ahead of me, but I'm on my way. I think from here on all I need is consistent exposure to various social situations.

[Dempsey]

Lack of confidence. Fear of failure, embarrassment. I think I"m pretty good socially I just have no confidence to show it.

[Neptunus]

As I said in the "other" thread...

Genetics + bullying+ domineering mother = shell of a woman that I am.

[Toad Licker]

Parents, both sides of my family have mental disorders.
I've always been quiet.
At least a bit probably came from my party days.