Virtual Support Group

[cellophanegirl]

Okay, so a lot of the time I feel stuck, like I can't move or do anything. Like, I'll say, "Gee, I should really do something today, like get out of the house and go do something, and stop wallowing in self-pity and isolation." Then, before I know it it's 5 o'clock in the evening, and I need to eat dinner, and take a shower, and it's getting dark out so I really shouldn't go out by myself, and I need to go to bed early, etc, etc.

IDK if anyone else feels like this, but I really have a problem with motivation and follow through. So... I thought maybe I could use this forum as a catalyst for some sort of change.

It will work like this:
Post something that you want the group to do (AKA anyone who views this forum), and then we'll all do it. For example, I would say something like "I think we should all take a 20 minute walk outside today." Obviously we don't all live in the same place, so it's not something we could actually do as a group, but we could each individually take a 20 minute walk wherever we are, and then come back here and post that we actually followed through.

Rules:
There's only one real rule, and that's if you suggest something to do, you have to be willing to do it too. So, if you want to say, "I suggest that everybody go to karaoke night at their local bar and get up on stage and sing their hearts out," that's fine. But you have to be willing to do it too. This way, I think that any task that someone suggests should be fairly manageable for all of us, since we all have SA, and I'm assuming no one will suggest anything too outlandish that they themselves would not be willing to do.
Oh, and a second rule is, try to PUSH YOURSELF. These things shouldn't be ridiculous, but try to do something that might push the boundaries of your comfort zone. So, "Get up and get dressed and brush your teeth" is a good start, but try to take it a little further than that.

Anyway, this is just an idea, so please give me feedback: AKA you think it's an awesome idea! you think it's pretty good, but have some suggestions to make it better. you think it's a terrible idea, and I should be banned from the forums for even mentioning it! you want to participate.

Please comment below vvvvvvvvvvv

[its_a_rick]

Well, that's obviously a horrible idea and you should be permanently banned from this place

Hehe, just kiding, in all seriousness, it's a good idea. Knowing other people 'expect' you to achieve your goal is a little extra motivation.
I have the same problem, not only with SA related things but pretty much everything in general, if there's no force pushing me I find it very hard to motivate myself to do anything.

Although, maybe, the "and then we'll all do it" may keep people from participating as we are all very different and have trouble with SA in different areas and we also have different areas in which we want to improve ourselves.
Perhaps this is just the SA talking but if someone suggests we do something I would find almost impossible to do and everyone else does it and posts about it then I'd feel bad.
Although, I guess there wouldn't be any judgement here if someone just says 'nope, sorry, too much for me'. Ahwell, I don't know, just a thought.

[cellophanegirl]

Well, it looks like it's just me and you. Obviously no one would be forced to do any of the suggestions, because, well who could force you anyway? This is supposed to be supportive, so hopefully we can make things work for everyone, which at the moment seems to be just you and me So, I guess I will start by suggesting that tomorrow we get up and go into town. I don't know if you have some kind of "down town" area where you live, but just go into what ever town area you have near you. Try to spend at least an hour there before you leave. Then come back here, and write about what you did. I think this'll be a good first task, since it doesn't involve an extreme amount of anxiety since there's not really any neccessary socialization. If you're feeling brave, try to make small talk with someone for a little while (AKA, talk to someone sitting next to you on a bus, or the person you buy coffee from, etc about something more than how much your coffee costs). Not required, but suggested. At least get out of the house, and break your normal routine, whatever that may be.

That's all for now. Any other suggestions would be great!

[BTW]

This sounds like an awesome idea! The only problem is, yeah, I think everyone experiences SA differently, and what could be a waste of time for one person could be too hard for another, and vice-versa. So I think it might be important to keep it simple and flexible.


I have absolutely no idea what is supposed to be the 'down town' area of my city. If I go out with people I usually go to the CBD, but I don't know if that's exactly what you mean.

[Wehttam]

I think its an interesting idea, not sure If I'm brave enough to join just yet but the ones that do participate should take pictures of their "motivational adventures", that way it will work as a proof (cause many people could probably lie about it just to dare others to do things) and also give them something to do for a few minutes by pretending to look busy taking pics (kind of like the fake talking on the mobile phone avoidance technique).

[cellophanegirl]

Originally Posted by BTW

This sounds like an awesome idea! The only problem is, yeah, I think everyone experiences SA differently, and what could be a waste of time for one person could be too hard for another, and vice-versa. So I think it might be important to keep it simple and flexible.


I have absolutely no idea what is supposed to be the 'down town' area of my city. If I go out with people I usually go to the CBD, but I don't know if that's exactly what you mean.

Cool! Yeah, we do all experience it differently, but we at least share some aspect of the same issue- trouble socializing. I agree that things can be flexible, but don't mistake flexibility for an inability to challenge yourself. Pushing yourself to do the tasks would be ideal, but obviously some effort is better than none at all.

I have no idea what the CBD is, but if that's the closest thing you have to a downtown, then go there!

[cellophanegirl]

Originally Posted by Wehttam

I think its an interesting idea, not sure If I'm brave enough to join just yet but the ones that do participate should take pictures of their "motivational adventures", that way it will work as a proof (cause many people could probably lie about it just to dare others to do things) and also give them something to do for a few minutes by pretending to look busy taking pics (kind of like the fake talking on the mobile phone avoidance technique).

pics are definitely welcome if you're up to it. If not, I think that hopefully we can rely on the honor system, and assume that everyone here wants to help each other out, and isn't trying to be malicious.

If you're not quite up to it yet that's fine, but would you maybe want to do some version of the task, even if it's somewhat modified? Like take a walk around your neighborhood? Of course it's up to you, no pressure, just thought it might be a good idea

[BTW]

I have no idea what the CBD is, but if that's the closest thing you have to a downtown, then go there!

CBD = central business district. Here we call it 'the city', I don't know if that's how it is in other parts of the world. I think there might be some other place that is supposed to be 'downtown' but I don't know where it is or what the difference is supposed to be.

[its_a_rick]

Well to take pictures with a phone you'd need one with a camera
I just have one those cheap things as I never use phones anyway.

I really need my daily routine as I'm also autistic but I can manage if I plan stuff in atleast a couple days in advance.

That and I also have to work all day tomorrow so I'll be too tired to go to town.

I think I can manage to do it on friday as I finish early at work, although an hour may be a bit much as it's not big.

[Mello]

I actually did that today i went to the city for a job interview but didn't get the job . But then i decided to not just run home immediately, so i went shopping a bit bought a lava lamp, and some shower gel and thee. I think its a good idea to get out of the house a bit, and buy yourself something nice, or something good to eat. But i don't think i'll be walking pointlessly in the cold for 20 minits dough i'll pass on that one. But im open for any other ideas you have .

[The Strong Silent Type]

Well, My first group task is to go to Thanksgiving dinner with over 10 people.

[grrungis]

Something to Do - Get together friday night with some people and get tottaly wasted then go around sociallizing - far easier when your drunk

[cellophanegirl]

Okay, so I went into town today for about 3 hours. I went to Macy's because I had a coupon there, and spent a long time looking for black dress pants (because I have a band concert back at school), but couldn't find any that weren't super expensive. Instead I bought my mom a scarf for Christmas. I didn't really do any more socializing than was necessary, but I did talk to a couple people: I asked a policeman where Borders was, and I asked a guy working at Borders what the coupon I had was good for, and I sat right next to someone at starbucks (aka, in the seat right next to them) because that was the only seat available. I had an okay time, and it was definitely better to go out and do something than to sit at home all day. Anyone else?

[its_a_rick]

Originally Posted by cellophanegirl

Okay, so I went into town today for about 3 hours. I went to Macy's because I had a coupon there, and spent a long time looking for black dress pants (because I have a band concert back at school), but couldn't find any that weren't super expensive. Instead I bought my mom a scarf for Christmas. I didn't really do any more socializing than was necessary, but I did talk to a couple people: I asked a policeman where Borders was, and I asked a guy working at Borders what the coupon I had was good for, and I sat right next to someone at starbucks (aka, in the seat right next to them) because that was the only seat available. I had an okay time, and it was definitely better to go out and do something than to sit at home all day. Anyone else?

Nice! and you actually somewhat enjoyed it so that makes it even better
I'm planning on going tomorrow, sort of depends on the weather, I hope it's better than today, it's been raining pretty much all day today.