They were right when they said you'll find someone when you stop looking

[elvin jones]

I always thought it was stupid advice but what do you know 70% of the time it works every single time.

It is weird because at first I didn't even like her. But over time she gradually wore down my defenses. I don't think we are really dating yet but it is definitely more emotionally involved than just hooking up. I am just taking it steady and enjoying the journey.

After my last relationship ended I thought I'd never find someone to really care about again but once I stopped trying she fell in my lap (figuratively and literally lol) . There's hope don't give up just yet.

[elvin jones]

I always make unsuccessful threads that no one posts in.

[waytooshy]

Thanx for the advice. I have a history of trying too hard.

[Ckg2011]

Where did you find and how did she fall into your lap? I want to try.

[loneyakuza]

Good luck dude. I've been not-looking for 21 years and I haven't come across anybody. Some of us are destined to remain single forever. But you are not and may you enjoy whatever good that comes out of your relationship and may you get out of the relationship fast should things ever turn sour.

[Killer2121]

i'm happy for you man. I wish I could even talk to girls..

[BobtheBest]

You're right about that, OP. It mostly happened to me unexpectedly.

[WhoDey85]

Probably because coming off as desperate is a big turnoff for most people. Congrats btw.

[elvin jones]

Well when I said I stopped looking, I meant I stopped trying to find someone to date on purpose. I still tried to be social and talk to people. If you just shut yourself off from the world then it's never going to happen. I just meant to let opportunities develop. If you never talk to anyone yeah it's probably not going to happen that easily.

[Ckg2011]

Originally Posted by loneyakuza

Good luck dude. I've been not-looking for 21 years and I haven't come across anybody. Some of us are destined to remain single forever. But you are not and may you enjoy whatever good that comes out of your relationship and may you get out of the relationship fast should things ever turn sour.

Same here, I don't even know what not looking means. I cannot even talk to girls or if I do approach girls I have no idea what to say.

[DazdNConfuzd]

Yeah I stopped looking about 6 months ago and guess what's happened since then? Absolutely nothing!

Originally Posted by elvin jones

But over time she gradually wore down my defenses.

Found this amusing.

[elvin jones]

Originally Posted by loneyakuza

Good luck dude. I've been not-looking for 21 years and I haven't come across anybody. Some of us are destined to remain single forever. But you are not and may you enjoy whatever good that comes out of your relationship and may you get out of the relationship fast should things ever turn sour.

Yeah my last relationship ended terribly. It made me really weary of dating seriously again because I didn't want to go through that again. But I guess time changes everything. I also think my father has a lot to do with this. He constantly told us about all the women he slept with before he knocked up our mom.

He said to never get married and sleep with as many women as possible while I am young. So I never had a good influence or idea of what a healthy relationship is like.

[Special]

Give us the details

[Xtraneous]

^_^

[rdrr]

Well in order for someone to find you, you have to be what someone is looking for. You can look for someone and you can just stop looking. If this one fact doesn't hold true, then whatever scheme, plan, game you want to play will not work.

[Droidsteel]

Congrats ^_^

I think that zlthough that advice worked in your case, it is bad for most of the people here, especially if they just sit in the house all day.

I mean anyone with a somewhat adiquate social life will get bf/gfs eventually just by being around a lot of people.

[intothedream]

its all relative, if anything you need to put yourself out there, it is always better to be active than just wait for things to happen

[mid20sgirl]

I've been given this kind of advice, but as of yet it hasn't worked too well. I've also been given the advice to be aggressive. That didn't help either. Right now I'm in the not looking category, but that's more because I've given up. I went out Friday night for the first time with no expectations and I was amazed at how much fun I had. Normally I am depressed after a night out because I am hoping I will meet someone. I've been working on myself for the last two weeks (I'm on vacation) and I've been finding that I am having less anxiety when I don't go out with expectations. Not just dating wise, but just hanging out with people. Friday night was the first night I felt real for the first time, and it wasn't even the alcohol. Normally that's what does it. However, anything I drank that night I think I sweat out. I didn't even feel buzzed and it was so hot and I was dancing and having fun and singing. Not a normal thing for someone like me, but it felt good and other people actually liked me and said I was fun.

[Taija]

Originally Posted by elvin jones

I always thought it was stupid advice but what do you know 70% of the time it works every single time.

It is weird because at first I didn't even like her. But over time she gradually wore down my defenses. I don't think we are really dating yet but it is definitely more emotionally involved than just hooking up. I am just taking it steady and enjoying the journey.

After my last relationship ended I thought I'd never find someone to really care about again but once I stopped trying she fell in my lap (figuratively and literally lol) . There's hope don't give up just yet.

It sure is true. Too many people spend too much time pining over people or complaining about how they can't get anyone, and that is a big turnoff for many. They should try using that energy to improve qualities they feel they're lacking in and find new hobbies and interests.

I also believe people here should try being more supportive of others instead of just focusing on what they perceive to be their own failure. I know it's easy to get disheartened, but answering "good for you, but I'm still doing bad" does no good for anyone, especially for yourself.

[cole phelps]

Just because it worked out for you doesn't mean it'll work out for everyone. Don't be so arrogant. Infact up untill a month ago I wasn't looking for a gf at all I never gave it much thought.

So don't sit their and act as if it'll all work out in the end. Their are some people on here who are 27 and never kissed anyone are you suggesting they stop looking alltogether ? Get real dude this is real life not a fairytale. Their are people like me out their who have tryed everything and still had no luck

I'm happy for you just stop being so cocky