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Old 02-08-2012, 11:49 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Shy extrovert vs Shy Introvert?

What's the difference? Since an introvert doesn't need much social contact to be happy, does it even matter that they are also shy? Is it much worse to be an extrovert with SA?
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Old 02-09-2012, 07:18 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Extroverts need a LOT of social interaction to be happy. They thrive on it and gain energy from it and are drained when they don't have social stimulation. Introverts require way less social interaction and have to retreat from society in order to recharge their "psychic batteries." An introvert might start out strong at a party and enjoy themselves but will have to withdraw in order to do some mental processing, whereas an extrovert doesn't.
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Old 02-09-2012, 07:27 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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I think it's possible to be both based on that definition. I crave social interaction and become unmotivated and lethargic when I'm not constantly changing environments and having successful social interactions. However, when I'm at a party, for example, and I am not doing well socially, I sometimes absolutely need to escape and recharge and be alone for extended amounts of time to bring back my confidence. Basically, my ideal situation would be to always be socializing and having a great time (extrovert), but that's just not the reality right now and I have to withdraw and be alone to recharge (introvert). I also enjoy being alone playing video games or surfing the net (introvert), but if it happens for too long I get unhappy and desperately crave successful social interaction (extrovert).
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Old 02-09-2012, 09:15 AM   #4 (permalink)
 
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I am pretty much what rymo specifically outlined. I seem sort of extroverted in that under the "right" circumstances, I could be very talkative and social as well as often having the desire to enjoy socializing with people, ideally speaking of course. But even if I go the entire day being the social person in the land, I STILL need to retreat back home or just merely escape from everyone.

I've also noticed that a lot of times I jump from group to group to group to group..... quite rapidly. I don't stay in one place for very long at all. I think it's because of two reasons:

One would be of the anxiety, in that I'm scared of overstaying my welcome and if I feel I am drawing a blank with talking to that group of people, I will abandon ship in order to avoid any possible awkwardness. The other reason is because I wish to talk to everyone in that circumstance and that is sort of my exercise in trying to talk to everyone. I like to connect with people from all areas of life, which would go hand in hand with that second reason.
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Old 02-09-2012, 09:20 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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In my opinion, main difference is that introverts get tired of a lot of social interactions and need time to be alone with their minds from time to time while extroverts don't have any social interactions desire limits.

I think that deep down I am extrovert because in rare occasions I have been interacting with people all day and I haven't felt tired at all, however these people were really interesting to talk to, I think I would become tired if it would just had been small talks and banal discussions
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Old 02-09-2012, 06:24 PM   #6 (permalink)
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What's the difference? Since an introvert doesn't need much social contact to be happy, does it even matter that they are also shy? Is it much worse to be an extrovert with SA?
I think it would be much harder being a shy extrovert. I'm a shy introvert and I can't understand or relate to about 90% of the threads on this forum because I don't know what it means to feel lonely, even when I am alone. I only have 1 friend and even that is too much some of the time. But I think I'm at the far end of the introverted spectrum. I didn't think that shy extroversion was very common but when I look through posts on this forum, it seems I was mistaken. And quite a bit at that.
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Old 02-09-2012, 06:27 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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I think people often mix up introversion with shyness. You can be very talkative and sociable and still be introverted. As an introvert, you just still need time to yourself and time to recharge. I would be a shy introvert, but I'm shy because of my anxiety not because of my introversion. In the right circumstances, I'll talk someone's ear off. I love it. If I got rid of my shyness, I'd still be introverted, but I'd be a lot more talkative and a lot more social.
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Old 02-09-2012, 07:14 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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You can call someone shy when they want to do or say something but they don't because they are shy but introverts are different , they don't usually share what's in their mind because they don't want to.....
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An introvert might start out strong at a party and enjoy themselves but will have to withdraw in order to do some mental processing
Well i don't think the only difference between Extro and Intro is that intros quit a party much earlier than extro ones , me personally do my best to avoid any kind of party cause simply i don't like it and i don't consider myself shy , it's alright if i feel nervous because i don't like something , and if i go out with someone to somewhere, it has to be an activity , i don't go out with anyone just for the sake of talking....
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Old 02-09-2012, 07:15 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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As for myself, I have had zero motivation since I graduated from high school. Social interaction is as vital to me as food, water, and shelter. This tells me I am an extrovert since motivation comes from external sources. Without social interaction, my future is bleak. But if it's so vital, why do I avoid it? What part of the brain produces this illogical fear? I need to change the genetically and environmentally (during early childhood) engineered pathways of my brain by utilizing the plasticity of my brain while I am still relatively young.
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Old 02-16-2012, 09:10 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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As for myself, I have had zero motivation since I graduated from high school. Social interaction is as vital to me as food, water, and shelter. This tells me I am an extrovert since motivation comes from external sources. Without social interaction, my future is bleak. But if it's so vital, why do I avoid it? What part of the brain produces this illogical fear? I need to change the genetically and environmentally (during early childhood) engineered pathways of my brain by utilizing the plasticity of my brain while I am still relatively young.
I don't know; introverts also like social interaction, and most if not all would probably say they need it. When I had no friends and didn't interact with hardly anyone, I was also depressed and lacked motivation. Most of that had to do with not having anyone to confide in and be around. Once I got that, I felt much better, but I still wouldn't call what I have extroversion. We all need a certain amount of social interaction, some more than others, it's not cut and dry.

Also, I think you're right, you should start trying to change the way you think/behave. But I wouldn't be too concerned about the whole idea that a person's brain becomes less malleable/experiences a decrease in plasticity as they age. I think everyone is different. I've actually found I've had more success in more recent years than when I was younger in being able to change my thought patterns and change my behaviours. It probably has to do with having more experiences and being able to challenge thoughts that I realize now are irrational.
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Old 01-29-2013, 10:33 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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I think it's possible to be both based on that definition. I crave social interaction and become unmotivated and lethargic when I'm not constantly changing environments and having successful social interactions. However, when I'm at a party, for example, and I am not doing well socially, I sometimes absolutely need to escape and recharge and be alone for extended amounts of time to bring back my confidence. Basically, my ideal situation would be to always be socializing and having a great time (extrovert), but that's just not the reality right now and I have to withdraw and be alone to recharge (introvert). I also enjoy being alone playing video games or surfing the net (introvert), but if it happens for too long I get unhappy and desperately crave successful social interaction (extrovert).
yup, im like this tooo.. like today.. i skyped w/ my bestiebefore i was afraid(shyness) but I pushed through the fear and did it..and even when i did it i was like man..im ready for this to be over...I really do love her,shes very special too me..but i was just feeling exhausted just talking to her..and i wasn,t tired either.. being introverted is just....weird to say the least lol
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Old 01-29-2013, 10:44 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Socially anxious extrovert. I fit all the characteristics of being an extrovert. I do love people and social interaction. I feel very off with so little of it. I even love to sing and perform, give speeches etc. I love a fun group. I love to manage and put people and things together.

However I don't mind being called an introvert cause social anxiety has the same effect of making those social interactions very tiring and draining thus making you pursue less social things. Without SA I'm an extrovert. At this point in my life being called an introvert is not incorrect.
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Old 12-28-2013, 11:48 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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I think it's possible to be both based on that definition. I crave social interaction and become unmotivated and lethargic when I'm not constantly changing environments and having successful social interactions. However, when I'm at a party, for example, and I am not doing well socially, I sometimes absolutely need to escape and recharge and be alone for extended amounts of time to bring back my confidence. Basically, my ideal situation would be to always be socializing and having a great time (extrovert), but that's just not the reality right now and I have to withdraw and be alone to recharge (introvert). I also enjoy being alone playing video games or surfing the net (introvert), but if it happens for too long I get unhappy and desperately crave successful social interaction (extrovert).
Hi, this is my first post on here, and I was really just interested to see if there were any more like me, and this describes me exactly! I was so surprised when I read your post. I didn't know you could be mixed introvert/extrovert so much which lead me to believe I had social anxiety but was an extrovert. Do you have social anxiety at all like what you have read on here? Maybe I just have mild social anxiety, im not sure. Thank you if you read and reply, I realize its a bit late
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Old 12-29-2013, 03:54 AM   #14 (permalink)
 
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As a shy introvert, I wouldn't say we have it any easier. I don't think the image of an introvert being someone who needs no social interaction or friends is true. We simply get drained out in certain social situations and take long to open up. Very few people are so introverted that they require no human interaction.

Personally, it's really hard for me to make friends, since social events really drain me mentally and I can't relate to most extroverts. I'm not motivated to go out and get social exposure to help with my SA, because I don't enjoy it. So I can't make any friends or find people with similar interests. If you were an extrovert, you'd at least enjoy the same things as everyone else, so you'd be motivated to actually get out there. If you're an introvert who's shy, you just feel like a creep around everyone else because you can't understand them. I'm not saying one group has it easier than another, but this is very much an extroverts world...
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Old 12-29-2013, 04:15 AM   #15 (permalink)
 
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As a shy introvert, I wouldn't say we have it any easier. I don't think the image of an introvert being someone who needs no social interaction or friends is true. We simply get drained out in certain social situations and take long to open up. Very few people are so introverted that they require no human interaction.

Personally, it's really hard for me to make friends, since social events really drain me mentally and I can't relate to most extroverts. I'm not motivated to go out and get social exposure to help with my SA, because I don't enjoy it. So I can't make any friends or find people with similar interests. If you were an extrovert, you'd at least enjoy the same things as everyone else, so you'd be motivated to actually get out there. If you're an introvert who's shy, you just feel like a creep around everyone else because you can't understand them. I'm not saying one group has it easier than another, but this is very much an extroverts world...
In bold describes me.

I don't feel motivated to interact with people to curby social anxiety either.
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Old 12-29-2013, 10:15 AM   #16 (permalink)
 
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I think I'm an extrovert deep inside as well, pretty much as rymo describes it. The times of my life when I have been the most happy and content have been the times when I've been involved with a lot of different people and had lots of social interaction on a daily basis, like when I was in law school. The pressure did get me anxious, but I've never felt more alive.

When I was younger I used to be really shy and did not want to interact with people because I never knew what to say. I've become better with that and can participate in conversations much better now. But sadly my confidence has been hurt by many failures over the years and I now tend to find it hard to open up to people, despite really wanting to. The lonly and isolated life I live now is incredibly unrewarding and boring.
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Old 05-19-2014, 08:55 AM   #17 (permalink)
 
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I just consider myself a bold introvert. See, after being around people for awhile I feel ready to quit and go home, however, I am delighted with communication once I warmed up to a person. I like to share and learn from others and try new things at least once. I just don't always have that opertunity to that like normal people. People still get the impression that I'm shy but I'm more complex than that.
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Old 05-19-2014, 10:56 AM   #18 (permalink)
 
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As an introvert, I don't feel compelled at all to go meet people or go to parties, and the idea of going to a concert is a terrible one to me.

I think a person who is shy might seem similar, but for them it's about fear or confidence. For me, I just don't want to go in the first place. That shy person (who is not introverted) craves interaction but is afraid of it at the same time.
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Old 05-19-2014, 11:01 AM   #19 (permalink)
 
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Wait... so i enjoy the company of others much more than being alone, but i also have social fears because of SA that stop me from being around others... does that make me a shy extrovert?

Or did everything i wrote make 0 sense?
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:38 PM   #20 (permalink)
 
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Wait... so i enjoy the company of others much more than being alone, but i also have social fears because of SA that stop me from being around others... does that make me a shy extrovert?

Or did everything i wrote make 0 sense?
Makes sense to me. This issue of extroversion vs introversion is definitely not black and white. From what you described it seems your a shy extrovert.
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