Should we improve or accept our social lives? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-13-2012, 08:28 PM Thread Starter
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Should we improve or accept our social lives?

Ive always wondered which would be the better choice. There tends to be two types of people on the site: on one side they will tell you to learn to live with your life, put your desires of a better social life
aside and you will feel no sadness. Learn to live with your life and get over it.

On the other side (probably most people on this site) you will be told to not accept defeat and keep practicing methods of improving.

I dont know which is best, the thing is Im planning to join a sport soon (with hopes of improving) and I dont want it to be a waste.
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post #2 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-13-2012, 11:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheLone Aji View Post
on one side they will tell you to learn to live with your life, put your desires of a better social life
aside and you will feel no sadness. Learn to live with your life and get over it.
and how happy & content with there lives can those people truely be knowing most grammar school kids can function at a higher level socially then they could? thats a horrible plan thats only going to create more suffering. life still goes on and with it alot more pains of death,rejection failure etc etc. everybody has a threshold for what they can handle coming at then from the world. add that attitude to that very low threshold plus the everyday ups & downs of life and that person will soon be placed in the back of a ambulance shipped off to the clown house.

f*** that! i been down that road before..inside the ambulance.you learn to live with and have to push things aside when your dealing with a physical disability. the state of anxiety is normal it will be felt whenever something totaly new is experienced or something worthy of being cautious is about. it wrecks lives when people develop trait anxiety. when every unpleasant thought,emotion, body sensation is kicking of anxiety. it stays a problem when people are not aware of the nature of there minds ,emotions,thoughts,body sensations and the very close tight connection between the body and the mind and how they influence one another.

" Dad died and I slipped in a coma, I was awake but I listened to no one. I was distant, I was pissed off, I was the last living Christoff, and I was angry with the other side of my window. A side that I wasnt built for. A side that I wasnt fit for. Convinced I was better off indoors, untill my pills run out and my killed buzz makes me sick till I refill my script up "

Derek Christoff a.k.a D-Sisive
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post #3 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-14-2012, 01:37 AM
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There's always room for improvement in everything, and social skills are a part of natural survival, so by all means, improve on them if you can.
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post #4 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-14-2012, 02:17 AM
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I've always thought it should be a combination of the two, accept who you are and your limitations yet aim to improve. When you can accept yourself, accepting others should become slightly easier.
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post #5 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-14-2012, 02:21 AM
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I'd have to go with improve. I couldn't possibly accept myself until I've improved my social life. I have the understanding that I'll most likely never be the outgoing girl with tons of friends and hot dates but it's got to get better than this. I'd be content with just a close friends and my other half whenever I find them. This inexsistent social life is extremely unacceptable.

If you've found love, than you got something. Letting some1 know you love them can get them through anything.
[L<3ve is everything.]
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post #6 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-14-2012, 02:34 AM
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^I agree. Definitely improve.


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post #7 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-14-2012, 06:30 AM
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I'd much rather improve. Right now "accepting" how things are would only push me into deeper depression.
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post #8 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-14-2012, 06:46 AM
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If you want to improve, then by all means try to improve. Someone with social anxiety and barely any social life wanting to improve isn't a problem at all. Socializing is an extremely useful and a somewhat necessary trait in society today. Those that say "accept it" are only saying that because they feel like they can't get better (which I doubt). If you feel like you can improve and you want to improve then I say go for it.
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post #9 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-14-2012, 06:47 AM
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I want to improve. Having no social life is unacceptable to me.
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post #10 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-14-2012, 06:53 AM
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I'll combine both - If I accept my social abilities my social life will improve

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What other people think of you is none of your business
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post #11 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-14-2012, 07:03 AM
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It depends how it makes you feel. You only have 1 life.
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post #12 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-14-2012, 07:41 AM
live in the moment :)
 
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Accept Ourselves and our weaknesses and improve on them in a positive way, which will lead to an improved social life (:

"Dance like nobody's watching, love like you've never been hurt, sing like nobody's listening, and live like it's heaven on earth."
- Mark Twain
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post #13 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-14-2012, 08:47 AM
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Of course improve. There's no point in accepting and hanging on to life like this. But there is a point in trying to make things better for yourself.
I think SAS people think we are the only ones who need to improve, but there's a lot of people out there that don't have SA and have other personal problems. IMO, everyone learns and improves in their lifetime unless they just want to accept it as it is and surrender.
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post #14 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-14-2012, 08:54 AM
*Sigh*
 
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i think there is a 3rd type of person on here and they are the ones that stand still and just accept everything. I am a borderline 3rd type ive accepted it all but still cling to this hope that there is away out. i might hold onto it for another year or maybe 10 but somehow in my heart everything is clear that this is how i was meant to be and my logic says no you can change and get outta it.
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post #15 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-14-2012, 09:02 AM
SUPER EFFECTIVE!
 
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I agree with most people who posted. Accept how you are but always try to improve yourself! I don't mind not being the most socially extroverted person in the world, but I want to atleast find a girlfriend/wife.
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post #16 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-14-2012, 10:10 AM
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improve, the times when i am comfortable sociably have been great, everything just seems easier, although those times are really just flickers at the moment, i want to get there permanently.
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post #17 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-14-2012, 10:14 AM
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Its got to be a compromise between the two for me.
Sure, look to make things better, find people you like and can do stuff with, but don't yearn to be something you're not. I'll bet even popular people have problems

"People are tantalizingly close physically, and yet spiritually, mentally, morally- they manage to remain infinitely remote from each other" Zygmunt Bauman

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post #18 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-14-2012, 10:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beelz View Post
i think there is a 3rd type of person on here and they are the ones that stand still and just accept everything. I am a borderline 3rd type ive accepted it all but still cling to this hope that there is away out. i might hold onto it for another year or maybe 10 but somehow in my heart everything is clear that this is how i was meant to be and my logic says no you can change and get outta it.
You can change. Clinging to hope isn't going to do anything. It's just a way to prevent hitting rock bottom. You have to FIGHT hard to improve yourself. Keep up the good fight my brothers and sisters.
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post #19 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-14-2012, 01:02 PM
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First, you must accept where you are socially. Then you will know what to improve.
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post #20 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-14-2012, 01:08 PM
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We should improve our social lives. By accepting, you would be letting your social anxiety win.
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