Social Anxiety Support

Abi0x · 11-03-2009, 12:50 PM

Well it started about 7 weeks ago when my mates didnt want me hanging around with them anymore, so i went to one of my other friends who dont hang around with the group that i did (they were way more popular) i enjoyed it, i even got speaking to loads more people outside like even all the lads.. but then 4 days later she got another girl to say how they didn't want me to hang around with them, so yeah i was gutted cus i liked hanging around with them so i left school at lunch like

becus i had no proper friends. so for the last 6 weeks iv been sitting in the library at break and lunch READING.. urghh i hate reading but yanoee i had no where else to hang around

it was horrible i had no friends. but today in physical education, some girl came up to me like, do you hang around in the library at break? i was like urrm..... "barely" becus i didnt wanna sound a geek even tho shes geekier than me. and she goes you can hang around with us if you want. but it was on the spot infront of another 2 girls who were way more popular so i was like.. "urrrm...... na" and at the end of p.e she goes, just tell me if you wanna. the thing is i WOULD hang around with them but there wayyyyy geeky, but like, you dont understand. it doesnt bother me that much but still thats not the main point. she hangs around with a couple people who i was kinda *****y to when i was more popular. e.g, me and my friend was at ice skating and them 2 was at ice skating and my friend pushed them over (not me, i know i still coulda send something) and i just kinda laffed cus you know, i had to, you dont understand. so yeah then id be hanging around with them and it would seem weird after everything whats been done and how embarresing would it be if they turned around and said "your not hanging around with us."

sooo yeah i dunno why im posting this cus theres nothing really you can comment on, but i just dunno what to do, hang around on my own in the library or hang around with a group who half of em hate me? sometimes i prefer being on my own but sometimes i get depressd and hate it

i just dunno what to do.

Indigo Flow · 11-03-2009, 01:01 PM

When i was in school i never worried about being popular, i had friends who were with the 'popular' crowd and i had friends who weren't so popular and they would always fight and i was always in the middle of it. I then made up my mind that i'd rather hang with my 'not so popular' friends because they were more honest and liked me for who i was and although the popular friends still spoke to me we drifted away because i wasn't like them, they would always ***** about each other which wasn't my thing. After school i realized being popular meant nothing anymore, everyone changed because they were now in the real world.

So maybe you shouldn't care about the popular crowd so much and more about the people who want to be your friend for who you are. Chance are none of those girls like each other anyway and they'll probably stop being friends with each other.

Prakas · 11-03-2009, 01:08 PM

I cared, but at the same didn't. I was always a loner in middle school through..well still am ;(. I was the person going to the library to read the news during lunch, check email. Or go out to my car in my junior year and just have lunch out, wait till the last minute before going back in for class. Sad I know.

Moon Calf · 11-03-2009, 01:10 PM

Why don't you hang out with the geeky kids and see what happens? You might make some really good friends. Also, watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJAGxAeV7YU

Abi0x · 11-03-2009, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moon Calf

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJAGxAeV7YU

LOL, they aint that bad (:

Rixy · 11-03-2009, 02:27 PM

Oh my God, that guy at the beginning of the video looks exactly like me. :P

Anywho, when I was 14 I had been following around this group of people for a while with another two friends. They never told us that they didn't want us around but I got the idea that they didn't like me, or my other friend. In the end, I broke off from them and was left with one friend who really didn't like me at the time because I had started to develop social issues, and one guy that I didn't like at all. Eventually a year later I did develop a circle of friends. We were kind of like the outcasts, we were varied and had different tastes and interests but we all got along great. The first time in a while I actually felt accepted and welcome. We were kind of like the "**** you" to the popular clan, a lot of people didn't like us because we were different.

I know how hard it feels to be rejected by people you once considered friends. You shouldn't reject people that invited you nicely just because there were two other girls there. Chances are they weren't even paying attention. If you end up not liking the "less popular" girls, then fair enough, you shouldn't talk to them if you don't want to. Just give them a chance at least. Popularity means nothing to be honest. It didn't at my school at least. You can't be liked by everyone, you might as well not be liked by the air headed girls who would probably ***** about you the minute you turned your back.

Woah, I rambled on here. You keep on telling me that I don't understand, and maybe your right but your situation sounds similar to something I went through when I was your age. Just throwing my two cents in there. Don't think of labelling people, see them for who they are. I was unlucky enough to be labelled with a stereotype that I even don't fit, and got hassled and pushed away because of it

matty · 11-03-2009, 08:29 PM

Thats pretty tough Abi.
Back when I was at school. Wow I am old.
I wasnt popular and I wasnt anyone special. I had friends and I knew a lot of people. I was nice to everyone, and that got me alot further then trying to peg myself in a certain status. Treating people like I am better then them or that others are better then me. Loser, geeks and cool people are all the same. They are people and they all have their own stories. Just no one gives losers or geeks the time.
Think about it this way, any one of those losers could be popular, in a different place or if people gave them the time and got to know them. Any one of those cool people could be a loser in another school, without their friends and without their status.
You will get a lot further by assuming everyone is equal and giving everyone is the same amount of time.

And i watched semi pro the other night.

ELE - Everyone Love Everyone

lde22 · 11-04-2009, 02:11 AM

I would say if you really want to just hang out with the geeky friends in the library. The geeky people usually end up with going to college and getting a high paying job anyways. Don't worry about it being awkward with the girls you were rude to, if you are nice to them now I doubt they will care.

11-03-2009, 12:50 PM	#1 (permalink)
Abi0x Status: Permanently Banned Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: I live in that tree, that one, over there Gender: Female Age: 14 Posts: 7	Should i have friends.. Well it started about 7 weeks ago when my mates didnt want me hanging around with them anymore, so i went to one of my other friends who dont hang around with the group that i did (they were way more popular) i enjoyed it, i even got speaking to loads more people outside like even all the lads.. but then 4 days later she got another girl to say how they didn't want me to hang around with them, so yeah i was gutted cus i liked hanging around with them so i left school at lunch like becus i had no proper friends. so for the last 6 weeks iv been sitting in the library at break and lunch READING.. urghh i hate reading but yanoee i had no where else to hang around it was horrible i had no friends. but today in physical education, some girl came up to me like, do you hang around in the library at break? i was like urrm..... "barely" becus i didnt wanna sound a geek even tho shes geekier than me. and she goes you can hang around with us if you want. but it was on the spot infront of another 2 girls who were way more popular so i was like.. "urrrm...... na" and at the end of p.e she goes, just tell me if you wanna. the thing is i WOULD hang around with them but there wayyyyy geeky, but like, you dont understand. it doesnt bother me that much but still thats not the main point. she hangs around with a couple people who i was kinda *****y to when i was more popular. e.g, me and my friend was at ice skating and them 2 was at ice skating and my friend pushed them over (not me, i know i still coulda send something) and i just kinda laffed cus you know, i had to, you dont understand. so yeah then id be hanging around with them and it would seem weird after everything whats been done and how embarresing would it be if they turned around and said "your not hanging around with us." sooo yeah i dunno why im posting this cus theres nothing really you can comment on, but i just dunno what to do, hang around on my own in the library or hang around with a group who half of em hate me? sometimes i prefer being on my own but sometimes i get depressd and hate it i just dunno what to do.

11-03-2009, 01:01 PM	#2 (permalink)
Indigo Flow Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: London, England Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 258	When i was in school i never worried about being popular, i had friends who were with the 'popular' crowd and i had friends who weren't so popular and they would always fight and i was always in the middle of it. I then made up my mind that i'd rather hang with my 'not so popular' friends because they were more honest and liked me for who i was and although the popular friends still spoke to me we drifted away because i wasn't like them, they would always ***** about each other which wasn't my thing. After school i realized being popular meant nothing anymore, everyone changed because they were now in the real world. So maybe you shouldn't care about the popular crowd so much and more about the people who want to be your friend for who you are. Chance are none of those girls like each other anyway and they'll probably stop being friends with each other. __________________ ...i could not Speak, and my eyes failed, i was neither Living nor dead, and i knew nothing, Looking into the heart of light, the silence. Flickr

11-03-2009, 01:08 PM	#3 (permalink)
Prakas Status: Failure - Life Sucks Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Delaware Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 434	I cared, but at the same didn't. I was always a loner in middle school through..well still am ;(. I was the person going to the library to read the news during lunch, check email. Or go out to my car in my junior year and just have lunch out, wait till the last minute before going back in for class. Sad I know.

11-03-2009, 01:10 PM	#4 (permalink)
Moon Calf Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Age: 29 Posts: 117	Why don't you hang out with the geeky kids and see what happens? You might make some really good friends. Also, watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJAGxAeV7YU

11-03-2009, 02:27 PM	#6 (permalink)
Rixy Status: Falling into Guru Muhk Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: UK Gender: Male Age: 17 Posts: 228	Oh my God, that guy at the beginning of the video looks exactly like me. :P Anywho, when I was 14 I had been following around this group of people for a while with another two friends. They never told us that they didn't want us around but I got the idea that they didn't like me, or my other friend. In the end, I broke off from them and was left with one friend who really didn't like me at the time because I had started to develop social issues, and one guy that I didn't like at all. Eventually a year later I did develop a circle of friends. We were kind of like the outcasts, we were varied and had different tastes and interests but we all got along great. The first time in a while I actually felt accepted and welcome. We were kind of like the "** you" to the popular clan, a lot of people didn't like us because we were different. I know how hard it feels to be rejected by people you once considered friends. You shouldn't reject people that invited you nicely just because there were two other girls there. Chances are they weren't even paying attention. If you end up not liking the "less popular" girls, then fair enough, you shouldn't talk to them if you don't want to. Just give them a chance at least. Popularity means nothing to be honest. It didn't at my school at least. You can't be liked by everyone, you might as well not be liked by the air headed girls who would probably *** about you the minute you turned your back. Woah, I rambled on here. You keep on telling me that I don't understand, and maybe your right but your situation sounds similar to something I went through when I was your age. Just throwing my two cents in there. Don't think of labelling people, see them for who they are. I was unlucky enough to be labelled with a stereotype that I even don't fit, and got hassled and pushed away because of it

11-03-2009, 08:29 PM	#7 (permalink)
matty Status: Falling Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Brisbane Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 202	Thats pretty tough Abi. Back when I was at school. Wow I am old. I wasnt popular and I wasnt anyone special. I had friends and I knew a lot of people. I was nice to everyone, and that got me alot further then trying to peg myself in a certain status. Treating people like I am better then them or that others are better then me. Loser, geeks and cool people are all the same. They are people and they all have their own stories. Just no one gives losers or geeks the time. Think about it this way, any one of those losers could be popular, in a different place or if people gave them the time and got to know them. Any one of those cool people could be a loser in another school, without their friends and without their status. You will get a lot further by assuming everyone is equal and giving everyone is the same amount of time. And i watched semi pro the other night. ELE - Everyone Love Everyone

11-04-2009, 02:11 AM	#8 (permalink)
lde22 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Southern California Gender: Male Posts: 67	I would say if you really want to just hang out with the geeky friends in the library. The geeky people usually end up with going to college and getting a high paying job anyways. Don't worry about it being awkward with the girls you were rude to, if you are nice to them now I doubt they will care.