Social Anxiety Support

joash · 08-20-2009, 04:44 PM

I had selective mutism through my child hood, and I am searching for other people who have personal experiences with not speaking. If it had existed an internet page where selective mutism people can socialise and share. Whould this page be popular? Or does someone know about a page like this? (I am not asking for parent organizations.)

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...lly-shy-66889/
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...-mutism-55091/

alohomora · 08-20-2009, 04:58 PM

I definitely suffered from selective mutism. It was most evident when I was five. I was incredibly expressive and talkative at home and yet I would not say a single word in kindergarden to my peers. In later years, I spoke a little in school but only to a few select peers and mostly to teachers. The stark contrast in my personality between home and school was incredible. It was like I was two different people in each setting. I visited some selective mutism sites before but I never stuck around very long because it seems they are mostly concerned with children (I just turned 24 now) and it seems tailored to parents who want to "fix" their SM kids. I found a forum once where SM adults could share their stories. It was unbelievably touching and relatable for me. They took it down though. If anyone here knows of some ADULT SM support sites or- better yet- support chats, it would be great to know.

fyi: the links won't open on my computer.

VivaLaVida · 08-20-2009, 09:41 PM

Back when I was in school, teachers and such thought that my being quiet all the time had meant that i had some form of autism. That is somewhat true although that is because of OCD and such. I think my parents were embarrassed to have me tested for autism so I never did even though I am exactly like they are. Today, I am still am quiet in groups and such, whether it is during a meeting at work or during the small Sunday School group I am apart of. I talk to people before and after, but never say anything during.

joash · 08-20-2009, 09:51 PM

The links was broken. I post them again:

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...lly-shy-66889/
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...-mutism-55091/

I agree with you that parents of selective mutism want to "fix" their kids. I have seen several federations, meetings and forums where parents always answers when someone with selective mutism express oneself. They want to help, but I think it is no help in fixing. Selective mutism isn't a mystic state where one can't think self. Parents wanting to fix, does that selective mutism people stop to express oneself, and it is difficult to come in concact with others.

It is human to share, and to get in contact with others. But it is difficult when many parents is cooperating in fixing. It is therefore I am searching for others who experiences the same, because I think we need internet sites for selective mutism people, without parents and psycologists. It is easy to think that one is alone with ones problems in life, when the truth is that it is many people around that have similar difficulties as oneself. And it is true that selective mutism is a subject of people with all ages, it is not a child subject.

I think that the subject of selective mutism will be less handicap made/mystified, and be more known in our communities, when people who experiences the difficulties get access to share, and come in contact with others. Maybe parents and psycologists then experiences that selective mutism isn't a prevention of expressing. When it is an understanding of selective mutism in the community, it is easier to live with, and may be overcome.

So the world need internet sites for selective mutism people.

I am 24 too. I remember when the lady who diagnosed me, came to the farm to diagnose me. I was 4 years old. She was so cruel. I'll never forget this day. I remember that before she left that day, I concluded that she couldn't mean that I was older than 5 months old. She kicked my feets by purpuse, and more, and harmed my body. As result of my suffering from her harming on my body, she concluded that I had moderate development dysfuntion in the movement of my body. I was so scared, I was horrified. It was war for survival, I didn't know what she was up to doing.

My parrents didn't get any right information about what diagnosis and treatment I got. And it was no way I could tell my parrents this. I tried so much, but either they didn't believe me, or they asked they ho treated me and got lies in return. It was horrible all those years I got treatment. I have calculatet that I got somewhere around 5000 hours of phyciatric treatment. I was locked into small rooms, they took my food away, took my clothes off in public, meant that I didn't have skills to make relations with other people and held people away from me, and more. I don't want other to go through such a life. It is no life. My life started some years after the treatment stopped.

alohomora · 08-21-2009, 09:22 AM

Wow! I just found this website that discusses the Fear Paralysis Reflex. I think this may have something to do with me.

Quote:

Most of us are familiar with the “fight or flight” adrenalin rush sympathetic nervous system, [BUT] fear paralysis reflex involves the opposite “eat and stay” parasympathetic nervous system.

http://raisingsmartgirls.wordpress.c...tive-reflexes/

I think I'm gonna do more research on this.

Banzai · 08-21-2009, 01:19 PM

I don't know about selective mutism but I remember when I was younger, I had a habit of nodding and shaking my head instead of speaking to strangers or just refusing to greet people I didn't know.
My parents would call me "mute" anyway (out of embarassment - "are you mute or what?! - "why don't you say hi?").
Even now, I very rarely greet people I don't know unless they greet me first and still have a somewhat head shaking/nodding thing (it's more of a preference thing I would say).

08-20-2009, 04:44 PM	#1 (permalink)
joash Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Age: 24 Posts: 4	Selective mutism page on internet I had selective mutism through my child hood, and I am searching for other people who have personal experiences with not speaking. If it had existed an internet page where selective mutism people can socialise and share. Whould this page be popular? Or does someone know about a page like this? (I am not asking for parent organizations.) http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...lly-shy-66889/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...-mutism-55091/

08-20-2009, 04:58 PM	#2 (permalink)
alohomora Status: The party is over Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: In a fiction book Gender: Female Age: 24 Posts: 288	I definitely suffered from selective mutism. It was most evident when I was five. I was incredibly expressive and talkative at home and yet I would not say a single word in kindergarden to my peers. In later years, I spoke a little in school but only to a few select peers and mostly to teachers. The stark contrast in my personality between home and school was incredible. It was like I was two different people in each setting. I visited some selective mutism sites before but I never stuck around very long because it seems they are mostly concerned with children (I just turned 24 now) and it seems tailored to parents who want to "fix" their SM kids. I found a forum once where SM adults could share their stories. It was unbelievably touching and relatable for me. They took it down though. If anyone here knows of some ADULT SM support sites or- better yet- support chats, it would be great to know. fyi: the links won't open on my computer. __________________ The richest person in the world is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least. Life gives answers in three ways. It says yes and gives whatever you want. It says no and gives you something better. It says wait and gives you the best.

08-21-2009, 01:19 PM	#6 (permalink)
Banzai Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: UK Posts: 908	I don't know about selective mutism but I remember when I was younger, I had a habit of nodding and shaking my head instead of speaking to strangers or just refusing to greet people I didn't know. My parents would call me "mute" anyway (out of embarassment - "are you mute or what?! - "why don't you say hi?"). Even now, I very rarely greet people I don't know unless they greet me first and still have a somewhat head shaking/nodding thing (it's more of a preference thing I would say). __________________ When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. -- Emo Philips

08-20-2009, 09:41 PM	#3 (permalink)
VivaLaVida Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Birmingham, AL Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 66	Back when I was in school, teachers and such thought that my being quiet all the time had meant that i had some form of autism. That is somewhat true although that is because of OCD and such. I think my parents were embarrassed to have me tested for autism so I never did even though I am exactly like they are. Today, I am still am quiet in groups and such, whether it is during a meeting at work or during the small Sunday School group I am apart of. I talk to people before and after, but never say anything during.

08-20-2009, 09:51 PM	#4 (permalink)
joash Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Age: 24 Posts: 4	The links was broken. I post them again: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...lly-shy-66889/ http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...-mutism-55091/ I agree with you that parents of selective mutism want to "fix" their kids. I have seen several federations, meetings and forums where parents always answers when someone with selective mutism express oneself. They want to help, but I think it is no help in fixing. Selective mutism isn't a mystic state where one can't think self. Parents wanting to fix, does that selective mutism people stop to express oneself, and it is difficult to come in concact with others. It is human to share, and to get in contact with others. But it is difficult when many parents is cooperating in fixing. It is therefore I am searching for others who experiences the same, because I think we need internet sites for selective mutism people, without parents and psycologists. It is easy to think that one is alone with ones problems in life, when the truth is that it is many people around that have similar difficulties as oneself. And it is true that selective mutism is a subject of people with all ages, it is not a child subject. I think that the subject of selective mutism will be less handicap made/mystified, and be more known in our communities, when people who experiences the difficulties get access to share, and come in contact with others. Maybe parents and psycologists then experiences that selective mutism isn't a prevention of expressing. When it is an understanding of selective mutism in the community, it is easier to live with, and may be overcome. So the world need internet sites for selective mutism people. I am 24 too. I remember when the lady who diagnosed me, came to the farm to diagnose me. I was 4 years old. She was so cruel. I'll never forget this day. I remember that before she left that day, I concluded that she couldn't mean that I was older than 5 months old. She kicked my feets by purpuse, and more, and harmed my body. As result of my suffering from her harming on my body, she concluded that I had moderate development dysfuntion in the movement of my body. I was so scared, I was horrified. It was war for survival, I didn't know what she was up to doing. My parrents didn't get any right information about what diagnosis and treatment I got. And it was no way I could tell my parrents this. I tried so much, but either they didn't believe me, or they asked they ho treated me and got lies in return. It was horrible all those years I got treatment. I have calculatet that I got somewhere around 5000 hours of phyciatric treatment. I was locked into small rooms, they took my food away, took my clothes off in public, meant that I didn't have skills to make relations with other people and held people away from me, and more. I don't want other to go through such a life. It is no life. My life started some years after the treatment stopped.