Social Anxiety Support

fd000 · 11-05-2009, 10:20 PM

I don't know why, but usually when groups are formed in class to do some kind of lab or any small team effort thing with 2-4 people I just always seem to end up grouping with other shy people. It's like we're magnets or something. But then the wierd thing about it is, somehow I always end up being the team leader and the one to motivate people to get things done in my group.

I guess it's because I've always jumped up to leadership roles when nobody seems to take charge because I like to see things get done. Sometimes I feel like John Locke from lost, being the lone wolf, while at the same time taking that leadership position when it needs to be done. It happened to me when I played WoW, my guild leader randomly disappeared and never came back, the guild was falling apart and I didn't want it to, so I stepped up. I led the guild for 2 years, and during that time we became one of the top 10 guilds in the entire world.

It's just weird to me, I have great social skills, can take leadership easily, but I'm just so anxious during first contact with a new person that I choose not to... unless it's forced upon me like being put in a group.

Is anyone else like this?

carambola · 11-05-2009, 10:24 PM

I never encounter obviously shy people, so I don't know. I used to always take charge in elementary school, though, mostly because I wanted to make sure people did things right, and everyone was willing to listen to me because they thought I was smart.

I did kind of take responsibility for answering questions in a group situation over the summer. The other people in my group didn't seem too sure of the material, nor did they seem very eager to speak up, so I did it. I suppose I would probably do the same in similar situations.

Wehttam · 11-05-2009, 10:30 PM

Same thing happens to me...with the few friends I do have I'm usually the ring leader as I have a big opinionated personality...but it only happens around the ones I'm comfortable with, if you put me in a group with many alpha personalities I'll be extremely quiet and only lay back and observe.

Smitten · 11-05-2009, 10:56 PM

it means that your sense of pragmatism outweighs your social fear, that's a good thing ^__^ i think that makes you pretty normal actually !!

Shanic · 11-05-2009, 11:04 PM

The same thing happens to me. Its like there is a certain energy "alpha personalities" suck out of the room and theres no room left for me. If that makes sense.

secretlyshecries · 11-05-2009, 11:59 PM

Though I'm not always like this, it has happened before. Or sometimes I'll be alone with another quiet person and I'll suddenly feel like I have to start a conversation with them so I will, whereas I probably wouldn't do that with any old 'loud' person.

Oneiros · 11-06-2009, 01:20 AM

Yeah I'm like this as well... At work I'm probably seen as a strong extrovert, because I'm always chatting to people and quasi-flirting with girls. Many of the people there are quiet, so it leaves room for me to come out and express myself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shanic

The same thing happens to me. Its like there is a certain energy "alpha personalities" suck out of the room and theres no room left for me. If that makes sense.

But yeah, in these situations I do the same... just sit back and watch.

11-05-2009, 10:20 PM	#1 (permalink)
fd000 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Central Jersey Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 22	Seem to take charge when around other shy/SA type people. I don't know why, but usually when groups are formed in class to do some kind of lab or any small team effort thing with 2-4 people I just always seem to end up grouping with other shy people. It's like we're magnets or something. But then the wierd thing about it is, somehow I always end up being the team leader and the one to motivate people to get things done in my group. I guess it's because I've always jumped up to leadership roles when nobody seems to take charge because I like to see things get done. Sometimes I feel like John Locke from lost, being the lone wolf, while at the same time taking that leadership position when it needs to be done. It happened to me when I played WoW, my guild leader randomly disappeared and never came back, the guild was falling apart and I didn't want it to, so I stepped up. I led the guild for 2 years, and during that time we became one of the top 10 guilds in the entire world. It's just weird to me, I have great social skills, can take leadership easily, but I'm just so anxious during first contact with a new person that I choose not to... unless it's forced upon me like being put in a group. Is anyone else like this?

11-05-2009, 10:30 PM	#3 (permalink)
Wehttam Status: Anxienty Free In 2083 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Australia Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 64	Same thing happens to me...with the few friends I do have I'm usually the ring leader as I have a big opinionated personality...but it only happens around the ones I'm comfortable with, if you put me in a group with many alpha personalities I'll be extremely quiet and only lay back and observe. __________________ MySpace \|FaceBook\|Twitter\|Blog

11-05-2009, 10:24 PM	#2 (permalink)
carambola Status: SAS Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: California Age: 24 Posts: 735	I never encounter obviously shy people, so I don't know. I used to always take charge in elementary school, though, mostly because I wanted to make sure people did things right, and everyone was willing to listen to me because they thought I was smart. I did kind of take responsibility for answering questions in a group situation over the summer. The other people in my group didn't seem too sure of the material, nor did they seem very eager to speak up, so I did it. I suppose I would probably do the same in similar situations.

11-05-2009, 10:56 PM	#4 (permalink)
Smitten Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Australia Gender: Female Age: 24 Posts: 142	it means that your sense of pragmatism outweighs your social fear, that's a good thing ^__^ i think that makes you pretty normal actually !!

11-05-2009, 11:04 PM	#5 (permalink)
Shanic Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Gender: Female Posts: 2	The same thing happens to me. Its like there is a certain energy "alpha personalities" suck out of the room and theres no room left for me. If that makes sense.

11-05-2009, 11:59 PM	#6 (permalink)
secretlyshecries Status: In hiding Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Australia, hiding under a rock somewhere Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 569	Though I'm not always like this, it has happened before. Or sometimes I'll be alone with another quiet person and I'll suddenly feel like I have to start a conversation with them so I will, whereas I probably wouldn't do that with any old 'loud' person.