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Old 12-04-2007, 02:10 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Scared of talking to my boss

I have a terrible fear of talking to my boss. And it's not just my current boss--this has been a problem for me in past jobs, too. I am always scared to ask for help or advice, so I end up not knowing what to do next, and I just sit at my desk wasting time. I don't think I have done any real work for maybe 3 months now. It's just compounding itself every day so that I am even more scared to talk to my boss because I just know he is going to tear me apart for not getting anything done.

I really am a good worker when I have a clear goal, but I think he thinks I am a total slacker. I don't really want to have to explain to him about my anxiety, but I also don't want to be chastised. How in the world do I get back on track?
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Old 12-04-2007, 02:31 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Scared of talking to my boss

Well, you're going to have to do something rather than let it build up. Unless you can break up what you need to do into smaller parts and work at it, you'll probably have to ask for help. Is there anyone else you could ask first before your boss?
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Old 12-04-2007, 09:12 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Scared of talking to my boss

That's a really tough situation, you have my sympathy. Perhaps you can write him an e-mail describing your problem rather than talking to him in person? Or could you ask a co-worker to help you out?

Also, chastisement is painful to be subjected to, but is it really that bad? It seems scary and painful, but you might find that in reality it's not that bad of an experience, especially since you didn't do anything wrong, you just had a little trouble socially, and so what if your boss thinks you're a slacker? I write this knowing that it's a lot easier to say than it is to do, but you might want to think about it.
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Old 12-05-2007, 03:00 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Scared of talking to my boss

Don't feel to terrible. I myself payed my little cousin to call in to quit for me. She pretended she was me >_>
"Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths."


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Avoidant personality disorder, social phobia, recurrent agoraphobia & major depression w/ psychotic features.

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Past meds: Klonopin, Escitalopram, Paroxetine, Sertraline, Venlafaxine, Viibryd.
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Old 12-05-2007, 08:05 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Scared of talking to my boss

Thanks for the advice. I definitely feel more comfortable writing than speaking because I have a chance to really get my thoughts together, so maybe I will try that.

And thanks for reminding me that being chastised isn't that bad in reality. I have always hated getting in trouble because I would get so embarrassed about it, so I generally do everything I can to avoid it. But words are just words, and I can handle it.
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Old 12-16-2007, 10:07 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Scared of talking to my boss

I had a really similar situation about a week ago. The workload got overwhelming for me at an internship, and I had to ask my supervisor for help. Before I talked to her, I couldn't sleep the night before and was freaking out about it for the entire morning. Finally, I sucked it up and talked to her.. and yeah, she didn't react very well to it. I definitely sounded like I wasn't working hard enough, and she implied that she'd only help me as a last resort.

I was extremely upset at the time.. but guess what-- I got everything done by myself in the end, and she ended up acknowledging how hard I had worked. Yes it was awful at the time, but then it was over.. and I hadn't even thought about it again until now..

Anyway, worst case.. you get a bad response like I did.. but it wasn't the end of the world like I thought it would be.. good luck!
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