SA and anger: is there a connection?

[Akira90125]

I've noticed that at the hospital I go to for exposure therapy, people who seem to have sucessfully removed their social anxiety wind up with anger management issues to deal with. i remember talking to a former patient who said he had anger issues with his girlfriend, i notice some people in the chat room talking about how much anger they have for people, and i notice i've become more and more irritable lately. what is the connection?

[Lemonstale]

I think the problem for me is because I can't express my anger in a productive way it comes out it the wrong way. Which is because I have problem confrontation I tend to hold it in instead, until it blows out.

[Ataraxia]

I think anger and anxiety are very similar, at the very least they both involve a rush of adrenaline. If I'm made to feel anxious because somone made me feel stupid, or if I become anxious in a confrontation (which are an inevitable fact of life if you deal with people on a daily basis), I convert my anxiety into anger towards that person. I'll spend hours arguing with that person in my head, imagining what it would be like if I had the perfect comeback, or thinking up vicious insults. This can go on for months after the confrontation is over; I just can't let some things go. I guess I feel repressed because I can't assert myself, so the feelings become bottled up.

[shyvr6]

Well when you think about it, people with sa can't express their emotions with people and we usually replay bad experiences in our heads over and over so that builds up over time.

[unusual condition]

I don't think there is neccesarily a connection in all cases and it is not typical of what I hear when I hear about anxiety issues. However, it is likely a problem attributed to constantly being on edge and not able to express oneself socially. Again, just because you notice that a few people with potentially some anger issues, who think they have SA, does not qualify a statement such as all people with SA have anger issues. I dislike when people make such broad assumptions. Although, you haven't clearly made the assumption, but I think the point needed to be made.

[xyzhousexyz]

you say your in exposure therapy? how does that work and how much is it? email me pls
xyzhousexyz@aol.com

[icedCoffee]

Originally Posted by shyvr6

Well when you think about it, people with sa can't express their emotions with people and we usually replay bad experiences in our heads over and over so that builds up over time.

sad but true. Very well said. My biggest problems in life have been with confrontations. I either avoid them causing a bigger problem or blowup which is also a problem. The main thing is anger tends to fester until I the fight/flight repsonse. I can't believe some of the self destruction from not being able to handle confrontations.

[steelmyhead]

I don't know if this helps at all, but I remember being very angry and very stressed when I was younger (7-11, I think), for no apparent reason. I would be constantly punching myself in the legs, crying most days, and just generally angry at something. What that something was? I have no idea. It's funny, now that I'm typing this, I just realized those feelings really haven't gone away... I can still conjure up the emotions. I can actually almost pinpoint the source... Was it that I wanted attention? What was I angry about?
I have some thinking to do... If I go and beat up someone smaller than I am, will I feel better? We should start a fight club for SA'ers. The safety word is kittens.

[UltraShy]

I'm a very bitter man with good reason. I was born into a hell on earth with a mind that has tormented me for decades without end. When I was a kid I had bullies to torment me daily too. Is it any surprise I hate the world and most of the people in it?

[EremitaGermanus]

With SA I constantly have to manage my fight-or-flight response! Several times a day I feel like I am standing with my back against the wall.
I find it only natural that that pressure sometimes bursts out in anger. I find people weird that are never angry.

[AudreyHepburn]

Originally Posted by Ataraxia

f I'm made to feel anxious because somone made me feel stupid, or if I become anxious in a confrontation (which are an inevitable fact of life if you deal with people on a daily basis), I convert my anxiety into anger towards that person. I'll spend hours arguing with that person in my head, imagining what it would be like if I had the perfect comeback, or thinking up vicious insults. This can go on for months after the confrontation is over; I just can't let some things go.

I have the same issue. I used to blame everything that went wrong in my life on my two twin cousins. I know, it's ludicrous. But I went so long following them blindly, doing whatever they wanted, not having a say in anything, being completely controlled by them, that finally I had had enough.

So I broke off our 'friendship'. (As if you could have ever called it a friendship) I tried once to sit down and express my anger towards them but it didn't go well because they accused me of "not letting it go! It happened 3 years ago!". I couldn't because the reality was they didn't see it as a serious issue like I did.

So I'm still angry with them, but I got over it. Now, I don't want them in my life anymore. When I grow up and movie out, I will not remain in contact with them.

My therapist and I... we haven't really talked about the root of the problem. And that could be bad...

[letitrock]

Originally Posted by shyvr6

Well when you think about it, people with sa can't express their emotions with people and we usually replay bad experiences in our heads over and over so that builds up over time.

thats exactly how it is with me