Social Anxiety Support

Lilith40 · 11-17-2008, 02:33 PM

Does anyone up here have problems letting anger out at people they don't know? It's so wried when I think about it. I think it started when I tried being a really good girl at Elementary school after coming home from the Principle's office. I really wanted to be the nice girl after that so I started being really nice to people and only showing my real self to people that knew me. Is there a way to break out of that?

BostonB · 11-17-2008, 02:37 PM

Yeah, It's hard for me too...To be assertive when I'm already preoccupied about what people are thinking about me. One of my symptoms is that my facial muscles tense up when I'm anxious. People already think I'm angry. In reality I don't get angry often enough, or I do verbalize it enough anyway.

Lisa · 11-17-2008, 02:43 PM

Funnily, it is the other way round with me. No problems letting strangers know what I think but people I know are so much more difficult to stand up to.

BostonB · 11-17-2008, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa

Funnily, it is the other way round with me. No problems letting strangers know what I think but people I know are so much more difficult to stand up to.

Really? It's actually hard for me with both people I know well, and people I don't know. Though it is harder with people I know well and really like. I tend to blame myself for everything. Like if someone makes me unhappy I just assume that I did something to deserve it, then I obsess about and go into depression mode. Weeeee!

Lilith40 · 11-17-2008, 03:38 PM

Up until a few weeks ago I started being more assertive with the people that I know. I think it must be the assertive hypnosis audio thing that I've been listening to at night. It feels good to not have a "seal" on my mouth around them.

I just want to break the seal with others. Each time I feel that I should say something, there's a voice in my head telling me not to. It's like the little girl wants me to stay the little girl. I think that if I start looking at my thinking patterns then maybe I can change that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BostonB

Really? It's actually hard for me with both people I know well, and people I don't know. Though it is harder with people I know well and really like. I tend to blame myself for everything. Like if someone makes me unhappy I just assume that I did something to deserve it, then I obsess about and go into depression mode. Weeeee!

You can't be the cause of everything that goes wrong. I know I still have this mindset. Sometimes it takes looking into an event to see who's right and who's wrong. It took a while for me to start doing this without getting depressed....much.

shyvr6 · 11-17-2008, 03:55 PM

Yeah, I'm usually passive aggresive towards people. It's hard for me to just yell at someone. I'm sure it's also partly because of anxiety as well.

jonesy0039 · 11-17-2008, 04:58 PM

i cannot bring myself to verbally or physically attack someone when im angry, its not healthy as i usually let it all build up till i get home then smash something

Eilicea · 11-17-2008, 05:25 PM

I have the same problem, both with people I do and don't know. For example, today I let a friend's critical (and, incidentally, hurtful) comment about me go pretty much unnoticed because I didn't feel like arguing why it was untrue, and I also told my mom to do my college list for me, since I don't feel like arguing about where I should apply. I think it's because my family and people my age used to characterize me as a "b*tch" when I was younger, and I'm kind of afraid of being thought of in that way now. (Although my mom did just call me a "dumb b*tch" about 12 times in the space of 10 minutes, lol)

shychick2 · 11-17-2008, 07:44 PM

When I get bad customer service I sometimes lose it and shout at them, especially if I have a low mood already. I'm a bit snappy and moody towards people when depressed (although they may not notice as I go from speaking little to not speaking!)

11-17-2008, 02:33 PM	#1 (permalink)
Lilith40 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 61	Problems With Anger Does anyone up here have problems letting anger out at people they don't know? It's so wried when I think about it. I think it started when I tried being a really good girl at Elementary school after coming home from the Principle's office. I really wanted to be the nice girl after that so I started being really nice to people and only showing my real self to people that knew me. Is there a way to break out of that?

11-17-2008, 02:37 PM	#2 (permalink)
BostonB Status: CONSTERNATED Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Boston, Ma. Age: 26 Posts: 284	Yeah, It's hard for me too...To be assertive when I'm already preoccupied about what people are thinking about me. One of my symptoms is that my facial muscles tense up when I'm anxious. People already think I'm angry. In reality I don't get angry often enough, or I do verbalize it enough anyway. __________________ "I dont know Karate, but I know Carazy" -James Brown "Mr. Brown, you're out on bond. Have all the charges been dropped?...YEAH!, I'm out on love!" -Also Mr. James Brown

11-17-2008, 03:55 PM	#6 (permalink)
shyvr6 Status: Makin Waves Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Somewhere on a map. Gender: Male Posts: 9,645	Yeah, I'm usually passive aggresive towards people. It's hard for me to just yell at someone. I'm sure it's also partly because of anxiety as well. __________________ Music

11-17-2008, 05:25 PM	#8 (permalink)
Eilicea Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Queens NY Gender: Female Age: 18 Posts: 345	I have the same problem, both with people I do and don't know. For example, today I let a friend's critical (and, incidentally, hurtful) comment about me go pretty much unnoticed because I didn't feel like arguing why it was untrue, and I also told my mom to do my college list for me, since I don't feel like arguing about where I should apply. I think it's because my family and people my age used to characterize me as a "btch" when I was younger, and I'm kind of afraid of being thought of in that way now. (Although my mom did just call me a "dumb btch" about 12 times in the space of 10 minutes, lol) __________________ I don't need your curses / I've got some of my own

11-17-2008, 02:43 PM	#3 (permalink)
Lisa Status: Missing her friends!!!!!! Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Britain Posts: 2,069	Funnily, it is the other way round with me. No problems letting strangers know what I think but people I know are so much more difficult to stand up to.

11-17-2008, 04:58 PM	#7 (permalink)
jonesy0039 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Liverpool, UK Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 143	i cannot bring myself to verbally or physically attack someone when im angry, its not healthy as i usually let it all build up till i get home then smash something

11-17-2008, 07:44 PM	#9 (permalink)
shychick2 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: UK Gender: Female Age: 28 Posts: 274	When I get bad customer service I sometimes lose it and shout at them, especially if I have a low mood already. I'm a bit snappy and moody towards people when depressed (although they may not notice as I go from speaking little to not speaking!)