Social Anxiety Support

bhj867 · 11-02-2009, 10:37 PM

I have so many people in my life that I just recently found out are willing to help me with my SA. WHICH IS GREAT. My best friend and I just had a really LONG talk about how my SA was causing attachment issues with me towards him. He pretty much told me that it was starting to get on his nerves that I get angry when he shows feelings of endearment and friendship towards other people than me.

I think my main issue is he is my best friend, but his actions sometimes lead me to believe that maybe Im not HIS best friend. He rarely ever speaks to me, but we spend so much time together. It's like the silence is overwhelming between us sometimes, but we both find comfort in it? Does that make any sense. But it's almost like he is ITCHING to get out and hang out with other people that actually knows how to have a conversation.

To me, at times, it just looks like he's ditching me, which causes the problems. See my conundrum? The conversation ended with me in tears telling him I will back off and let him have his space.

He is such a good friend for sticking by me and all my crazy moods all these years, but I ENVY those moments he has with other people so much it tears me up. DAMN YOU SA! DAMN YOU FOR RUINING A PERFECTLY GOOD FRIENDSHIP FOR 10 YEARS. So many wasted bonding opportunities thrown out the window for us to have fun and share each other's thoughts and laughs. I wanna blame myself, but coming on this board has made me realize I can only blame the Social Anxiety. What can I do to fix my friendship with my best friend that seems to be heading towards oblivion?

sonne1234 · 11-02-2009, 10:46 PM

I've had friends come and go too. However, most of the friends I have have stuck with me; of course, those ones have been people I've known since grade school.
I would say that he has more of the problem than you do. You can't help the way you are. Maybe he's just changed. I don't really know what to tell you, though, except that there ARE people who would be there for you through thick and thin. You got them all on this forum. I know it's not the real thing, but if he wants space from you, maybe he's not as loyal as a friend as he used to be.
We care!!!!

bhj867 · 11-02-2009, 10:50 PM

It's not so much he wants me to give him space, as in, he wants me to stop getting jealous at him every time he hangs out with other people. that's what I mean by space.

sonne1234 · 11-02-2009, 10:58 PM

oh ok, sorry I misunderstood you. I hope everything turns out ok for you.

CrashMedicate · 11-02-2009, 11:10 PM

Perspective. He has other people he likes to hang out with. What's wrong with that? He's your friend, he takes an interest in you, he cares about you. You should be happy for him. If you had a friend who acted jealous every time you hung out with someone else, would you like that? I know I wouldn't.

11-02-2009, 10:37 PM	#1 (permalink)
bhj867 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 40	people people everywhere but not a person to speak to. I have so many people in my life that I just recently found out are willing to help me with my SA. WHICH IS GREAT. My best friend and I just had a really LONG talk about how my SA was causing attachment issues with me towards him. He pretty much told me that it was starting to get on his nerves that I get angry when he shows feelings of endearment and friendship towards other people than me. I think my main issue is he is my best friend, but his actions sometimes lead me to believe that maybe Im not HIS best friend. He rarely ever speaks to me, but we spend so much time together. It's like the silence is overwhelming between us sometimes, but we both find comfort in it? Does that make any sense. But it's almost like he is ITCHING to get out and hang out with other people that actually knows how to have a conversation. To me, at times, it just looks like he's ditching me, which causes the problems. See my conundrum? The conversation ended with me in tears telling him I will back off and let him have his space. He is such a good friend for sticking by me and all my crazy moods all these years, but I ENVY those moments he has with other people so much it tears me up. DAMN YOU SA! DAMN YOU FOR RUINING A PERFECTLY GOOD FRIENDSHIP FOR 10 YEARS. So many wasted bonding opportunities thrown out the window for us to have fun and share each other's thoughts and laughs. I wanna blame myself, but coming on this board has made me realize I can only blame the Social Anxiety. What can I do to fix my friendship with my best friend that seems to be heading towards oblivion?

11-02-2009, 11:10 PM	#5 (permalink)
CrashMedicate Status: Racing through life Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Riiiight here. Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 205	Perspective. He has other people he likes to hang out with. What's wrong with that? He's your friend, he takes an interest in you, he cares about you. You should be happy for him. If you had a friend who acted jealous every time you hung out with someone else, would you like that? I know I wouldn't. __________________ A man has to have goals. A man without goals is like a car without steering. You're going to crash.

11-02-2009, 10:46 PM	#2 (permalink)
sonne1234 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 79	I've had friends come and go too. However, most of the friends I have have stuck with me; of course, those ones have been people I've known since grade school. I would say that he has more of the problem than you do. You can't help the way you are. Maybe he's just changed. I don't really know what to tell you, though, except that there ARE people who would be there for you through thick and thin. You got them all on this forum. I know it's not the real thing, but if he wants space from you, maybe he's not as loyal as a friend as he used to be. We care!!!!

11-02-2009, 10:50 PM	#3 (permalink)
bhj867 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 40	It's not so much he wants me to give him space, as in, he wants me to stop getting jealous at him every time he hangs out with other people. that's what I mean by space.

11-02-2009, 10:58 PM	#4 (permalink)
sonne1234 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 79	oh ok, sorry I misunderstood you. I hope everything turns out ok for you.