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People make me look shy and awkward.

6K views 10 replies 6 participants last post by  madman 
#1 ·
Its hard to explain...
When I was 8 I was a shy kid I didn't speak much. In my school was a lot of brave kids I didn't feel well there. Every break they were loud while I was sitting alone. Teacher told few times that I'm other than them I am shy and quiet (among all). Then everybody started to call my shy… They were making fun of few people but especially of me cause I was shy. When teacher asked who speaks loud, they always focused on me and laughed and everybody knew that wasn't me but it was funny for them…
I couldn't make friends because they told: "he is that guy who doesn't speak" they looked at me and laughed hard. There was also one very shy girl in my class and they were often joking that we are couple or asking me how's your girlfriend? Or when they saw some shy person "hey, he's like you haha" _._ It was so embarrassing. They laughed at everything I said/I did. I wasn't very shy I rarely did it but everytime I swore, they acted like they are shocked "first time I heard he swore 0.o" They were making me look a lot more shy than I actually was. They are so cruel. Each time I was coming to class they were joking "please, sit with me, you are so strong everyone at school is afraid of you haha." When I was sitting alone they said "look at him, hes so shy, hes sitting alone and doesnt talk at all"... They commented my behaviour all the time. I was always in center of attention and I didn't want to. I hated it.

I tried to hide from them. Ive never had an account on myspace/facebook. Finally year ago I created account there because my family told me about it for a long time. It was HUGE step in social relations. I was always afraid of people. My classmates asked "whats happened? you are on facebook wow!"
Yesterday I met one girl who was my classmate in bus. I wanted to talk. I said to her "Hi!" to times and she didnt even look at me. I poked her and she finally noticed me said "hi" and went away... So rude. **** them. Now Im 18 Im just normal quiet guy, definitely not shy but they still make ***** of me. Recently Im thinking about my whole life. It sucks. I dont have good memories.
I thought about suicide. I cant study I cant eat. I dont enjoy anything. I dont do anything. Just playing computer games/listening to music. Few people destroyed my life. I cant live this way no more. My patience is over. I lost my ambition. I dont think its ever gonna change. I dont even think about having a girlfriend. I dont see the future. Everyone remembers how I was bullied at school. I want to cry all time. How to change my reputation? Once some person said that he knows a girl who was also called shy and made fun of. He told me that she still has the same reputation even if she changed a little bit. Do I really have to be treated like a freak? My family doesn't know about my problems. I lost hope to have normal life. Now I live only for my family. When I see my sister's smile everything seems better. I dont wanna leave my family. And I dont think it sounds as bad as it really is. I wanna give up.
 
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#2 ·
I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I do think I understand at least in part; forgive me if I misunderstand your post.

The same thing happened to me in high school. I have never had facebook/Myspace either and people made the exact same joke, posting "ghostofme swore" as a facebook status, like it was somehow amazing. They would stare whenever I spoke and this made me less likely to speak. Some people thought I was mute while others mimicked my shy/awkward behavior when I was not around (some of these people I thought of as friends).

At a point, people just stopped interacting with me altogether because I could never show how interesting I was because of my shyness, or perhaps the burden of my perceived shyness.

In one class a bully of mine would volunteer me for all of the activities/make me the assistant in a demonstration because he knew I would be awkward and uncomfortable.

I'm twenty now and I'm in college and let me tell you its different. I don't see those people hardly anymore. I feel as ambitious as ever, more than in my whole life, despite still being awkward and shy as **** all. I have so many dreams, and actual plans on how to get there. I wish I was smarter, taller, stronger, sure, but I have all the blessings I need write now from God. SA has taught me much too. I would not trade my life to live anyone elses.

This song is about change; it inspires me like no other music; listen if you want (on very high volume haha)


I pray you can find your ambition and hope again. Peace friend.
 
#3 ·
Its hard to explain...
It always is.

Everything in your post seems like standard Social Phobia to me. The title you chose betrays a flaw in you thinking. People don't make you anxious: your subconscious does that. People provide stimuli but you respond to those stimuli. Only by focusing on how you respond to stimuli can you begin to see the problem for what it is.

My thoughts on the matter can be found through the links below...

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/goose-for-the-sauce-198970/

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/coping-with-sa-my-thesis-so-far-203515/
 
#4 ·
Thanks for links. Trust me I am a normal, nice introvert. If I knew that I wouldnt meet some people I could even go to club sometimes but few cruel people always tell how shy and polite I am.
Once I was talking during the lesson with the only guy who wasn't making fun of me. Teacher said "stop talking" and everybody comments "It's really him?! Wow he really talks 0.o" I felt awkward and embarrassing. I wanted to leave them and cry everytime I heard it.
You dont know how these comments can destroy you. They isolate me. I don't feel like others because of them they make fun of me WHOLE LIFE. It hurts me more and more. I dont see the future. I will never have normal life this way. I think about moving to other country to start new life. But it would be seriously hard decision to never live in your hometown :( Everybody was venting their whole anger on me. They told that I would never do the same things as they did. The worst thing is that they don't see how cruel it is, they think it's funny and they have to they have to comment everything I do and always focus on me. They just smile and make fun of it.
To prove that I am normal for example in my new school NOBODY called me shy. Yes I am quiet but many people are and in new school nobody makes fun of me. I dont wanna tell my other friends where I go to school because then people would probably make of me in new school.
How to solve it?! Guys I need help so much. I think about suicide. Maybe I should tell my parents that story but I cant. My father would be so disappointed how people treat me ;( He wouldnt be proud of me and I would also destroy his life then.
Im on facebook maybe I should use it, show how I feel? Show that Im not shy there are people who treat me like others. I dont know. :(
 
#5 ·
Please don't think of suicide as an option. And being shy or introverted is NOT abnormal at all. I used to feel like a total square peg because when the other kids were outside raising h*ll I preferred to sit inside reading a good book. I was made to feel like a loser because of it. If not for my mom I would have had an even worse self esteem than I already did.
Believe me, high school will zip by and college is so much different. You will meet people who will appreciate you as a person. Think of what you want to be in life later, focus on your future career...start a vision quest of doing things for yourself to make YOU feel good, not what others think of you. I spent a lot of time being miserable worrying what others thought of me in my teen years and it was time wasted. Do you have hobbies? My son had a hard time making friends until he started going to Yugioh tournaments.
Don't give up! You have a long life to live and so many great things to see in it! If I were young again I'd be saving money to buy a backpack and wander around Europe. Take care and sorry if I went on and on too much.
 
#6 ·
The one "small problem" destroys my life. Some people always comment "you would never do it" "come on do it! dont be as shy as [my name]" and they have fun. When somebody said he has shy person in his class. They always focused on me and said "he is the same as [my name] ;)" Normal person would reply "I didnt know hes shy" but they always compare them to me.Its funny for them.

I just go out to shop or for a walk with my family. I feel safe only with my family. If I went alone or with new friend to restaurant and met few "old friends" they would make me ashamed and make fun. The situation gets worse and worse.
I can't cope with it alone. I need help to fix it. Im on facebook maybe I should use it to show how I feel? Show that Im not shy there are people who treat me like others. I dont know. :(
I will never have good memories. Why do some people like to hurt me this way. I feel like a freak. I just wanna have normal life, job, girlfriend, going out to drink. Thats my biggest dream. I cant stop thinking about it. Its impossible.
In short It started from things like this:
"When teacher asked who speaks loud they always focused on me and laughed and everybody knew that wasn't me" They were always doing things like that. They treated me like a freak. I thought some day everything will be better... but nothing changed since 10 years I am adult I feel loneliness I dont think its ever gonna change. Nothing has sense. The group of few people make fun of me whole life.
When I think what will be my life like in 15 years I know it will be the same! I need to finally do something with that. WAITING WILL NEVER FIX IT!!! Im so depressed. I know that if I wont change it now my whole life will be destroyed. WHAT SHOULD I DO?! I dont wanna commit suicide.
 
#8 ·
Hi Friend :D

You had a rough time at school.

However that is common.

You are giving these people a lot of power.

They dont deserve it.

Like the guy said your title isn't right, no one makes you look shy and awkward.

YOU FEEL that way.

It is all down to you how you deal with this.

I knwo it is hard I am struggling with my deamons but you need to realise you have the power.

We all struggle and the people who bullied you probably do too.

And you are projecting failure into the future YOU no one else.

You need to think about how your life can change for the better.


Good luck
 
#9 ·
Thank you
My whole people have tried to make me look shy and powerless so Ive had that opinion. Everybody was laughing at me and told that I am shy and I cant do anything. I will never forget it and they will also never forget. It hurts so much :( I was an easy target. Everyone from my last school knows that people laugh at me :( :( They were always focusnig on me "he doesnt talk at tall, look at him" I felt powerless and bad around many people. I couldnt do anything if 2 people among whole school were laughing at me. The more people there was they wanted to make fun of me more and more. For example if there was meeting of many people in Television and talking about school or even something else and they would have to choose one guy who would represent them or have to talk or who would like to say something about yourself they would always focus on me. Its funny for them. They like when I am in awkward situations. Everyone of them could easily destroy me. I dont even think about having girlfriend. I wanted to hide everything from them I didnt talk to my parents. My family doesn't know about my problems and "friends" dont know anything about my private life because Im afraid what if my parents would know about? They would cry with me. I would destroy their lifes if they knew how others treat me but you know what?
I want to finally make some friends and start new life. I am 17 soon 18 Im STILL YOUNG. If I dont change now they will always treat me this way. If I dont change anything now the situation will be the same in 10 years, 20 years and never change I know it. It will be very hard but think my life can get a little bit better in few years.
I think I have nothing to lose! Im gonna invite my whole family on facebook upload photos from vacation or with new friends. I have 18th birthday next month I dont have many friends but Im gonna first time invite 2 friends from last school, 5 from new school and go bowling then to restaurant. I will break the barrier between my 2 schools and these 2 friends from previous school will meet my new friends. I was always afaird of it a try to hide but recently I have thought about suicide so its the worst possible thing. Rest of last classmates will know about it and will be very, very schocked like "WTF? He really has friends haha, sure its gonna be the best party ever HAHA" but I try to not care. Let's show them that I'm worth a lot.
Im gonna do everything to make situation better. Maybe its gonna be great day. I invite people who arent malignant and dont laugh at me. It will be my the biggest birthday party Ive ever had lol. Last birthday parties were only with my family. I am only afraid that breaking this barrier between my family, first school, second school is good idea? What if people from previous school are going to tell bad things about me and then it will start in new school? pls answer.
 
#11 ·
UPDATE
When I was 8 I was quiet kid I wasn't swearing at all and I was going to school where everyone knew each other. In my school was a lot of brave, cruel kids. We all were spending time together, every school break, every trip. There was group of guys who were making fun of everyone else. They wanted to be cool.
Teacher told few times that I'm different than them I am shy and quiet (among all). Then everybody started to call my shy… They were making fun of few people but especially of me cause I was shy. When teacher asked who speaks loud, they ALWAYS focused on me and laughed and everybody knew that wasn't me but it was funny for them…
When we were sitting in locker room or anywhere few guys always focused on me and told "look at him, he doesn't talk at all" and everyone laughed or "don't be shy, say "f***".
When we were with older "cool" guys few of my classmates pointed at me and said "you know that he doesn't say one word during whole day? Haha" (ofc i did but less than others or "[my name] hey, can you tell us a joke or say something funny? Im just joking I forgot that he can't talk, haha" Then older guys treated me like a freak and during the break came to me and said embarrassing question "you really never say anything?" whole school laughed at me ;(
One guy was laughing at few people but especially at me, always focused on me and told "can you talk ;), look at him he usually doesnt say anything haha, hes funny" everybody was laughing hard at me, I wanted to leave and cry... (I wasn't doing anything I was so polite kid and tried to laugh with them but inside it hurt me so much) or there was also very shy, unattractive, strange girl. He was asking among all "how's your girlfriend?" "What are you talking about with her, talking haha, got it?" Of course it was funny for everybody... I felt so isolated. Then nobody respected me. I feel so weak and I feel like if they wanted to they could destroy me mentally so easily.
I rarely did it but everytime I swore, they acted like they are shocked "first time I heard he swore 0.o" They were making me look a lot more shy than I actually was. They are so cruel. Each time I was coming to class they were joking "please, sit with me, you are so strong everyone at school is afraid of you haha."
The more people there was the more they were making fun of me. Because of few guys some girls till now think Im shy. For example last week I saw one girl who was my classmate but we were far away from each other. I was just sitting and looking out the window but I heard that girl told her friends who don't even know me that I don't talk at all for whole day. WTF? Its so embarrassing. Its not even true. Maybe im not very talkative but its offensive. It hurts me so much. Then others laugh at me. Because of situations like this one i really want to talk less and less and get away from everybody... If they just treated me normally _._...
Soon Ill be 18. Nobody knows about my problems. I go to fine school Im just glad that nobody laughs at me here but its still not normal life. I changed myself a little bit Im normal guy but they didn't change themselves and still like to make fun of me. I can't get close to people. I don't go out often. Ive never had a girlfriend.
I have never had myspace or facebook because I thought that if I create account one guy will always pick on me no one other, just me (like in locker room) and write to all his friends something like that "he is that guy who doesnt say anything, can you tell us a joke ;)?" or "I think he doesnt even know what is sex ;)"It seems stupid but then more and more people laugh at me. Its humiliating, one guy says that among all and then nobody respects you...
Half year ago I felt so depressed and cried like never before that in my new school only one person doesnt have facebook and I will never have it and will be outcast forever and hide from some people my till the end of my life... I was so sad that Ive thought about commiting suicide and then I knew that I cant commit suicide. People laugh at me but when I look at my sister everything seems better. Finally half year ago I created account on facebook (it was the hardest thing Ive ever done in my life. Im serious). For the first 3 hours I was waiting will they accept invation and write humiliating thigs about me or not? Fortunately all they did was writing on my wall "0.o I cant believe it" and that was it. I hided list of friends because I dont wanna let them now where do I go to school/who are my friends and I dont have many friends (80 but I invited everyone I could). Anyway It was HUGE step in relationships.
1.How Should I answer if someone tells that Im not talkative? The best answer would be something like that to not be angry and look like I dont care and laugh at it:"Haha, yes Im not talkative, I dont say anything as you see haha, good joke haha ^^, you make me laugh :D" Maybe it would make them not want to tell it.
In short what is the most important problem? I am afraid of people. I imagine that I go out with new friend and then I meet some mean guy who comes to us and says "does he really drink bear? o.0" or "he talks with you 0.o" and hes gonna tell it other his friends to laugh at me. My whole life group of people was laughing and telling embarrassing things about me.
My whole life among many people every occasion they had they were making fun of me.

The truth is that when I was 8 sometimes I was just sitting for an hour and listening to others without talking at all. They were making fun of me because of it. Ive always had a reputation of the most polite guy in class/school.
Then I was normal, polite guy, nowadays if I have good mood I can be very talkative but sometimes they joke "you can talk 0.0 Wow." or "FIRST TIME I HEARD I SAID SOMETHING o.0!!!" I mean they dont let me be myself. Sometimes I really dont want to talk to people/swear/drink beer/go out with friends because some people always humiliate me because of it. Im not afraid of everyone. Im afraid of the same people for 9 years! I dont think its ever gonna change ;( Nothing has changed for 9 years :( What should I do? Is there anyway to fix my reputation? Should I show them my list of friends? What could I do on facebook to help myself.
Maybe I should tell my parents about it but it would be hard to say :/ But then I would have a support and they wouldnt be so confident. Any ideas as much as you have would help me. I often feel so weak and dont wanna live :/
 
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