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Obsessing over regrets?

3K views 11 replies 11 participants last post by  gwen 
#1 ·
Hi, at the moment I seem to be in a phase of melancholic nostalgia. Last year was one of the most miserable, self-destructive periods of my life but there were also wild and exhilarating adventures I had that can't be repeated and I miss them. I have cut out a lot of my self-destructive partying and although my life is much healthier now I crave the moments I had when I felt truly alive. I'm too young to be old, y'know?

I just had adventures and experiences (usually of a sexual nature, and always while drunk) that I still look back on and think "was that me?" and I feel like while it was dangerous and stupid to be reckless all the time, part of me feels like I should be savouring that stuff and doing more of it while I'm still in my twenties, before it just becomes sad.

I'm not explaining myself very well.

Anyone feel like this?
 
#2 ·
barnabas used to obsess over her past for at least five years, but just now she realizes she hasn't really been doing that lately. fifth-grade and seventh grade were loads of fun, but things went waaaay downhill from then on. still, those moments are to be cherished, not to be relived over and over again. pyramidsong just needs to focus more on the present and the future rather than the past. besides, twenty-seven is just about the right age to grow up. pyramidsong shouldn't do anything she wouldn't do when she's sober just to prove that she's still young and fun.
 
#3 ·
Doing things that are "adventurous" can lead to regret. Not doing things that are "adventurous" can lead to regret also, so that's a tie ;)

If your regrets or concerns about your behavior are because you put yourself at risk, while drunk, then maybe you should think that through and make other choices. If your regret is more about what your behavior says about you, like you're a bad person because of XXX, then it maybe a different issue.

Personally, I often wish I had acted on a few more impulses in my youth, now that I'm almost 50 and everything has "just become sad" :lol
 
#7 ·
Just be assured at any age you can have fun. I miss my days of drinking and dancing and making out with women but................wait, now I'm depressed!! lol. My first statement was accurate. As you age you have different ideas of fun also.
 
#8 ·
Carbon Breather said:
You can be wild all your life if you want to. It depends on if you want to start a family or not.....
Ick. God, no. I can't stand kids. And I have no desire to be tethered to a monogamous relationship, either.

Thanks for the replies, guys. I guess my issue is less about what I have and haven't done (I'm aware I could probably keep doing this stuff for a while yet- people I meet seem to think I'm about 22) and more about my inability to enjoy things while I have them. I don't think I actually want to go back to where I was, more fear that I'll never have fun again. Which is a pretty sad way to be, considering I was miserable while I was doing it.
 
#11 ·
pyramidsong said:
Carbon Breather said:
You can be wild all your life if you want to. It depends on if you want to start a family or not.....
Ick. God, no. I can't stand kids. And I have no desire to be tethered to a monogamous relationship, either.

Thanks for the replies, guys. I guess my issue is less about what I have and haven't done (I'm aware I could probably keep doing this stuff for a while yet- people I meet seem to think I'm about 22) and more about my inability to enjoy things while I have them. I don't think I actually want to go back to where I was, more fear that I'll never have fun again. Which is a pretty sad way to be, considering I was miserable while I was doing it.
i can relate to what your talking about. i used to always think back nostalgicly and wish i was still able to go do those things (usually involving partying and drinking or drugs - cant anymore cuz i dont talk to much to those friends and a few of them moved). i would always look back at it like it was so great, but i wasnt really happy back then either. at the time it was just something to do now it seems like since i cant do it anymore, i want to go back to that period in my life.

i sorta just tried to force myself to come to terms with the fact that i cant go back and i need to find out how to enjoy what i got going on now. i like to think that change is an important thing and that without it none of us could really grow. so i just look back at it as a time in my life where i was into doing crazy stuff and im lucky nothing bad happened. i try not to glorify it like i used to because i know i wasnt really happy even though i was "living".
 
#12 ·
OK I was out of here and then I read this and came back just so I could post this...

Sorry if this comes off sounding rude but- Grow Up
It sounds like the only purpose these events had in your life ( and the only reason you miss them now) is/ was to make you feel Cool. Well fornication, getting high/ drunk and who the hell knows what else- isn't cool. You're still in your Sex, Drugs and Rock n' Roll frame of mind- Even if that's not true, your life is still yours and you have a choice. You can either live a life of debauchery and maybe become a great writer of autobiographies or you can choose to live a different version of your life. Just because you don't get laid by strangers doesn't mean your only other option is to settle down and have three kids. Sky's the limit, and you don't have to be on drugs to reach elation. From what you wrote your previous adventures didn't bring you much happiness- Whatever you're doing make sure it makes you happy- those are the things you will NOT regret.

Edit to Add: Sorry for the "Grow Up" comment- that was uncalled for- I don't know who I am to tell others to grow up - I should tell that to myself firstly.
I still stand by whatever else I wrote. Basically sometimes we have to sacrifice pleasure for happiness. I don't see why you can't still go out partying without going too overboard and into self-destructiveness? maybe it's time to change your social circle or something?
anyway I'll shut up now.
 
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