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Obsessing over intelligence

2K views 8 replies 9 participants last post by  kee 
#1 ·
I find myself more and more obsessing over my own intelligence. It's not that I try to flaunt it, but I worry constantly over people thinking I am stupid. I'm into the gaming community, watch a lot of anime, like talking about books. This is hard to word because I feel pompous and embarrassed over the fact that I am so worried about this. Obviously I am insecure. But I find myself generally hanging with people who have intellectual jobs in the science field or are studying for that sort of thing. I have only just been able to go back to college. I am only working part time at a preschool and then taking two classes at my school. I hear about these people who get caught in that community college trend and just sit around being lazy, smoking pot, playing video games, and not going anywhere. Through the people I hang out with and also the people they know, I hear a lot of negativity and cynicism towards those that are not as smart or aware as them. I know that I am not retarded or anything. I was in honors programs in school, all of that. To be honest, I feel that these people I am largely referring to are arrogant and more than a little intolerant of anyone not like them. I guess I feel that if I say anything ignorant or stupid they're _really_ going to catch on. I mean, I like being able to have great conversations with people like this, but geez. I just feel inadequate, like I'm going to slip up and they'll all know I'm actually a stupid jerk like the people they go on about. I even worry about what I do in my free time or what I think. I've struggled with this since 11th grade when my grades started slipping, so I'm assuming it's just a lack of confidence. Does anyone else obsess over this sort of thing?
 
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#2 ·
Seems to me that you're facing mostly an education difference. Intelligence is an innate ability, but if you haven't had much schooling or work a simple job, it's not easy to feel "smart".

If you become an expert at something--anything--you'll feel a lot smarter and more confident in many situations :)

-Ryan
 
#3 ·
From what you've described, it sounds like the people you hang out with are a little on the judgmental side. Are you sure you want to hang out with people who put others down like that? I think it's easy to feel insecure based on what the people around you are saying. If they were putting down other people's clothing, you might feel insecure about that, but they happen to be putting down other's intelligence which is causing you to obsess. I'd be the same way. "Am I smart enough for these people? Is what I just said really dumb?" Personally I'd rather be around people who made me feel comfortable with who I am, and there are plenty of smart people out there who don't put others down.

Also Kardax, I really like your avatar. That was the best movie ever!
 
#5 ·
Keikei- Your friends should be more understanding of the fact that not everyone has the time, or money to go to a 4 year school right after HS graduation and complete a degree. I get a little sick of some of these college students turning up their noses at community college. Completing an Associates program and transferring is actually a very smart thing to do. Not only are the classes exactly the same as in a 4 year school, but you save a ton of money and it's easier to get accepted at the school of your choice once you've graduated. Also, I'm sure you're aware that most community college students are working adults as opposed to lazy potheads. You will find the latter in far greater numbers at 4 year schools.
As far as conversing with these people goes, don't feel stupid for not knowing exactly what they're talking about and don't pretend to know anything you don't. If you're interested, ask questions. Inquiry displays far more intelligence than smiling, nodding, and bullsh*tting.
 
#6 ·
I don't go to a community college, but I am attending a school that is much cheaper than the school I'm going to eventually graduate from. It is considered a "lesser school", but that doesn't bother me because as long as I transfer I'll get a degree from the other school.

I know a lot of people who decided to go to a really tough school right after high school, and when they realized college is tougher than high school they had terrible grades and would have been better to start at community college to get their feet wet.
 
#7 ·
Do they really look down on your lack of education, or are you just assuming that? I can be a bit negative towards stupid people too, but I certainly don't assume that anyone is stupid just because they didn't go to college (hey, Bill Gates dropped out). For people born with reasonably average intelligence, stupidity is just a choice to be irrational, refuse information that doesn't fit your views, not attempt to improve yourself, and be shallow. It's people who don't try, or in fact seem to go out of their way to be stupid because they think it's cool, who are annoying.

Keikei said:
I guess I feel that if I say anything ignorant or stupid they're _really_ going to catch on.
If you admit the ignorance and learn from it, then you'll show that you're smart. If you're impervious to reasonable arguments and pretend the ignorant thing you said was right forever, then they'll conclude that you're stupid.
 
#8 ·
Through the people I hang out with and also the people they know, I hear a lot of negativity and cynicism towards those that are not as smart or aware as them.
I used to hang out with a group of peers who had what you could call a superiority complex that was really an inferiority complex in disguise, if that makes sense. these people thrived on putting others down because it was the only way they could feel good about themselves. in fact, that is why they hung out with me - because I'm, you know, stupid I guess and could foster their delusions of grandeur. But seriously, life to them wasn't about the pursuit of knowledge and understanding, but rather a hopeless struggle for validation, while being safely and comfortably distracted in a world of fantasy. I don't think that there's nothing wrong with living in a fantasy world- being insulted all the time just kind of hurt my feelings is all. ; - ;
 
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