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Old 12-23-2012, 10:03 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default No Social Skills

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Old 12-23-2012, 11:07 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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i guess the best way is to be yourself

find something you enjoy and try to find others who enjoy the same hobby or activity
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Old 12-23-2012, 11:13 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by hova View Post
i guess the best way is to be yourself

find something you enjoy and try to find others who enjoy the same hobby or activity
What if that IS himself though?

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Originally Posted by A Nowhere Man View Post
I have no social skills and no personality. Every time I talk to somebody I just seem too formal and give all these robotic responses/compliments. This makes it hard to make and keep friends. How do I talk like a normal person, if that's even do-able for me?
I think you just need to practice feeling emotions more. Like stop suppressing them and justt let feelings out so things can go smoother. Plus naturally, people think of "robotic speaking" as "weird" and people that speak with enough emotion (not too much) are well liked.
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Old 12-23-2012, 12:17 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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There is probably social skills training available somewhere near you? I've thought about that before, but I'd have to leave the house for that, so I decided against it :P
I also agree that you should be yourself though - and everyone has a personality, try showing it, don't be afraid.
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Old 12-23-2012, 02:05 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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I get you. I don't speak "normal" really, I use a higher vocabulary than what a woman my age uses. People don't expect me to use proper grammar and to not abbreviate, but it's what I'm used to doing.
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Old 12-23-2012, 02:07 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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I have the same problem. Which is why I don't have real life friends.
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Old 12-23-2012, 02:11 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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There is probably social skills training available somewhere near you? I've thought about that before, but I'd have to leave the house for that, so I decided against it :P
I also agree that you should be yourself though - and everyone has a personality, try showing it, don't be afraid.
What sort of things would social skills training involve? I imagine it involves doing things like group discussions and practicing assertiveness techniques.

When you've never been involved in group discussions in your whole life, it's near impossible to open up in a group full of people so I wouldn't go on such training myself.
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Old 12-23-2012, 06:15 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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I wonder if they have this sort of thing (or something similar) at where I work. Either way, adding this to the list of things I should check out.

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I get you. I don't speak "normal" really, I use a higher vocabulary than what a woman my age uses. People don't expect me to use proper grammar and to not abbreviate, but it's what I'm used to doing.
I can somewhat relate to that. There are times where I am more proper and speak as though I may as well be reading from an English paper or something to that effect. About a week and a half ago, this one lady actually thought I was British (and I wasn't even faking a British accent this time!).


How do people react when they pick that up about you? With surprise? Positively? Negatively?
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Old 12-23-2012, 09:06 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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I can relate. Sometimes I feel like I have automatic responses that come out at the wrong time so I give the impression that I might have not been listening, when I actually was. It's because I get nervous when the time comes to say something myself, because I fear I wont have anything interesting to say to that person, OR my mind just freezes up and I forget about my whole life experience, just what I can say at that moment to get by. It's really frustrating.
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Old 12-23-2012, 11:29 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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I have what you might call a co-dependent relationship, where I rely on my sig. other for most of my needs and getting my needs. I don't smile often, and can't stand small talk. I feel unfit to survive socially in the world, for sure. I am hoping to improve. I am so tired of going to social gatherings, avoiding eye contact/smiling, and generally being a 'killjoy' because I just don't know how to 'be happy and enjoy' myself.
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Old 12-25-2012, 04:56 AM   #11 (permalink)
 
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What sort of things would social skills training involve? I imagine it involves doing things like group discussions and practicing assertiveness techniques.

When you've never been involved in group discussions in your whole life, it's near impossible to open up in a group full of people so I wouldn't go on such training myself.
I've only ever heard about group sessions myself, but I suppose you could get one on one social skills training, where you do roleplaying with the therapist or whoever does the training, like practice making eye contact, speaking in an "appropriate" way etc.
I personally do okay talking to one person at a time though, especially once I'm used to them, so that would probably not help much in my case.
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Old 12-25-2012, 06:43 AM   #12 (permalink)
 
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You need practise man. Like most things it will improve the more you do it .
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Old 12-25-2012, 12:59 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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I speak with too much emotion. Sometimes act like I'm making an address to the nation when I'm actually asking for a bagel.
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