I can't stand the thought of seeing a picture of myself or thinking about others seeing my photograph. I stopped (or had my parents stop) ordering yearly school photos around jr high. I only ordered a couple high school graduation photos for my parentís sake. I never posed for a college graduation pic. Whenever I see someone with a camera at a family function or when I with a group of friends, I get out of the way.
I hate seeing myself in the mirror, too. Itís like I can forget the way I look if I'm not confronted with my image, but my reflection or seeing a picture of me brings me back to reality, and I get depressed.
I wouldn't be so bad if my family wasn't into family pictures so much. Every wall of our house is filled with photos of us and distant relatives, and I know my dad has sent photos of us to these same distant relatives.
There are two family photos in our family room that really depress me, and I cringe everytime I pass them. The most resent has my parents, two sisters, and me crowded together smiling as a big happy family. The only problem was that the photographer had to coach us on how to get close to each other and, God forbid, touch each other, and look natural doing it. And we all had these fake, strained smiles on our faces like it was a foreign expression that we never attempted before (which isn't far from the truth).